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Raechard -> RE: How to tell if you're a Londoner.. (7/26/2008 6:40:44 PM)
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1. You say 'the City' and expect everyone to know which one.
yep
2. You have never been to The Tower of London or Madame Tussauds but love Brighton
yep
3. Hookers, drunks and the homeless are invisible to you.
yep
4. You step over people who collapse on the Tube.
yep
5. You've considered stabbing someone.
not yet[:D]
6. Your door has more than three locks.
I have two doors
7. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
yep
8. You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a garden.
yep
9. You're paying £1,200 a month for a studio the size of a walk-in wardrobe and you think it's a "bargain".
nah
10. Shopping in suburban supermarkets and shopping malls gives you a severe attack of agoraphobia.
It's natural to hate open spaces anything could fall out of the sky.
11. You pay more each month to park your car than most people in the UK pay in rent.
£4 per day, £15 in the city.
12. You pay £3 without blinking for a beer that cost the bar 28p.
Don't drink, much
13. You actually take fashion seriously.
Nope
14. You have 27 different take-away menus next to your telephone.
Yep the buggers keep shoving them through the hole
15. The UK west of Heathrow is still theoretical to you.
I've been there but I don't like to dwell on it
16. You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
There is no such thing as a free meal
17. Your idea of personal space is no one actually physically standing on you.
I demand 1m^2 unless I'm on the tube where I have to be more realistic.
18. £50 worth of groceries fit in one plastic bag.
Plastic bags cost too much these days
19. You have a minimum of five "worst cab ride ever" stories.
Nope
20. You don't hear sirens anymore.
Them siren are birds chirping.
21. You've mentally blocked out all thoughts of the city's air/water quality and what it's doing to your insides.
It can't be good but it smells better than sticking my head up a cows arse in the country.
22. You live in a building with a larger population than most towns.
Nope
23. Your cleaner is Portuguese, your grocer is Somali, your butcher is Halal, your deli man is Israeli, your landlord is Italian, your laundry guy is Filipino, your bartender is Australian, your favourite diner owner is Greek, the watch seller on your corner ! is Senegalese, your last cabbie was African, your newsagent is Indian and your local English chippie owner is Turkish.... And your local bobby came fresh of the boat from South America.
local bobby?
24. You wouldn't want to live anywhere else until you get married.
Needs must
25. You roll your eyes and mumble 'ggrrrr, for f**k sake....' at the news that someone has thrown themselves under a tube train.
Fucking inconsiderate, think of the delays it will cause, if you're going to kill yourself do it in private I say.
26. Your day is ruined if you don't get a copy of Metro on the way to work.
I love the metro paper, that's not a good sign is it?[8|]
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