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finding a mistress - 7/27/2008 1:57:25 PM   
toil4women


Posts: 5
Joined: 6/23/2006
Status: offline 		how do i find a mistress.I found out that my diversion towards femdom is not just fetish but its for real.I used to have these things in mind since my childhood(not joking at all) i have been dreaming about serving a woman since the age of three, but as i grew in my teens the urge started to grow stronger but i could not relate my feelings to any body as i thought that i was the only wierdest person but later on when i had access to the internet some years down the line i came to understand that I m not alone and that my submissive feelings towards women (dominant  women) is not something that is new.Well now its been seven years now that i have understood this lifestyle.The worst part is i have had no luck in finding a woman adjusting to this lifestyle.i have not been in any vanilla relationship for the simple reason that i wanted a dom/sub relationship.Now i m f***ng 30 and i want to get married but i cant understand where to find a dominant woman and how to go about with it.I have one complicated life i know for sure.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: finding a mistress - 7/27/2008 2:07:01 PM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline 		Toy for women (misspelled..)
Toilet for women
what does toil stand for?

anyhow I guess you find dominant women mostly by looking and by looking where lifestyle people are to be found... but that's just me...

(in reply to toil4women)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: finding a mistress - 7/27/2008 2:10:55 PM   
khem


Posts: 300
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline 		1toil Pronunciation: \ˈtȯi(-ə)l\ Function:noun Etymology:Middle English toile, from Anglo-French toyl, from toillerDate:14th century 1archaic a: struggle, battle b: laborious effort2: long strenuous fatiguing labor

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: finding a mistress - 7/27/2008 2:12:26 PM   
HeavansKeeper


Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		Toil means to work diligently, usually knowing there is little reward in the end.

The best advice I can give is simple: Use better grammar (including punctuation) and post on the forums. I find it hard to write about myself in my profile, so I just count on my posts speaking for me. I've gotten a few smiles here and there from people .

That is how to meet women here on CM. If you want to meet "wife material" women into D/s, go to the local scene. Demos, munches, Eroticon. If you want to meet a kinky girlfriend, play the numbers (try not to get the Herps).

Edit:

Apparently your profile puts you in India. It also says nothing about you, no picture, not even that you're looking. I don't know what the local scene in Mumbai is like =P, but have you considered being a vanilla woman's bitch, and just spoiling her?

< Message edited by HeavansKeeper -- 7/27/2008 2:15:09 PM >

_____________________________

The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: finding a mistress - 7/27/2008 2:18:05 PM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline 		whops blonde moment i got it 

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: finding a mistress - 7/27/2008 2:27:24 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly

Toy for women (misspelled..)
Toilet for women
what does toil stand for?

anyhow I guess you find dominant women mostly by looking and by looking where lifestyle people are to be found... but that's just me...



I haven't read the whole thread so someone may have covered this... To "toil" means to labor or to work. It is a real word. A thesaurus and a dictionary are good things.

Calla Firestorm

I apologize for getting side-tracked... for the OP, one thing you might consider is, if you have the opportunity to travel abroad, planning a vacation to coincide with one of the international or other large fetish/BDSM events. These events are held throughout Europe and North America. Black Rose and Thunder In the Mountains are two in North America and Leder Treffen is one in Europe that come immediately to mind (though I think Leder Treffen is really for experienced scene players). These events are typically full of people who can provide the counterpoint for your desires. These are also outstanding places to make connections -- and who knows who someone you meet and get to know might also know...

Calla Firestorm

< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 7/27/2008 3:07:29 PM >

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: finding a mistress - 7/27/2008 2:39:23 PM   
HeavansKeeper


Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		Poor Butterfly...

In any case, anyone else have tips for the OP?

_____________________________

The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: finding a mistress - 7/27/2008 3:06:07 PM   
DelilahDeb


Posts: 429
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline 		Fast reply: I cannot improve on Stephann's excellent (and experienced) advice in the message: http://www.collarchat.com/m_1717756
"Men: How to find a woman here"

And for the original poster, please be aware that the ordinary search for a mate gets tougher when one shrinks the pool of available possibilities by an order of magnitude. For example, *I* am a dominant woman in search of a submissive male. *But* I am over 50, not monogamous, and do not expect ever to *marry* again. (Never say never.)

I wish you the best of luck in your search.

Lady Delilah Deb

_____________________________

"All acts of love & pleasure are My rituals."
--from the Charge of the Goddess, a Wiccan teaching

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: finding a mistress - 7/27/2008 3:08:06 PM   
MissJane


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/15/2004
Status: offline 		I would start by connecting with the local BDSM  community where you live.  Go to classes, events, munches.  Meet people.

(in reply to toil4women)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: finding a mistress - 7/27/2008 4:53:58 PM   
khem


Posts: 300
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline 		Are you trying to contact women outside your own country?  If so, that is probably your problem.  Most people just aren't willing to push the limits of travel/expensive/risk/cultural differences.  I don't even bother replying to men who have written me from India.  It's just too far away.

(in reply to MissJane)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: finding a mistress - 7/27/2008 5:40:26 PM   
MistressSassy66


Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: toil4women

how do i find a mistress.I found out that my diversion towards femdom is not just fetish but its for real.I used to have these things in mind since my childhood(not joking at all) i have been dreaming about serving a woman since the age of three, but as i grew in my teens the urge started to grow stronger but i could not relate my feelings to any body as i thought that i was the only wierdest person but later on when i had access to the internet some years down the line i came to understand that I m not alone and that my submissive feelings towards women (dominant  women) is not something that is new.Well now its been seven years now that i have understood this lifestyle.The worst part is i have had no luck in finding a woman adjusting to this lifestyle.i have not been in any vanilla relationship for the simple reason that i wanted a dom/sub relationship.Now i m f***ng 30 and i want to get married but i cant understand where to find a dominant woman and how to go about with it.I have one complicated life i know for sure.



I can relate.I was married twice,had 2 you know whats with My first
husband,6 years later its divorce time.Same with the 2nd one.
One day at My sisters work I was standing outside with My dog
and Punk walked by,I was 32 at the time,she patted the dog and walked on.
A couple years go by and W/we start dating...only then did I
get the chance to have BDSM a part of My/Our life.
We have been together almost 10 years now.When W/we first met it
was totally vanilla. Reading one book The Mistress Manual by:Mistress Lorelei
Made Me understand that I wasnt a "bitch" or "sick" or any of the names I had been called.Before I joined this site I met people through yahoo.
I have only been to one Munch it was fantastic,I met some wicked awesome P/people.However I'm not one for large crowds,anxiety issues.
So I dont go to them,I dont do the group chat nights.I do have
Peers that I can chat with that live nearby,We have more of a
support system than a group mentality,at least thats how I see it.

The point being you dont have to be involved with a group,or
go to Munches to find someone,I'm a perfect example of finding someone in the
vanilla world and then got to incorporate BDSM into O/our life.

The odds maybe be better,if you network,it can be done online
with the amount of BDSM oriented sites out there,try them all.

Remember this *Anything worth having...is worth waiting for*




_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to toil4women)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: finding a mistress - 7/28/2008 12:55:30 PM   
toil4women


Posts: 5
Joined: 6/23/2006
Status: offline 		thanks for the advice i will surely try and follow this.Well i might be from india but at the moment i m in england well u see my profession as a software system analyst demands a lot.Cheerz!!!!!

(in reply to toil4women)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: finding a mistress - 7/28/2008 7:08:45 PM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		I have been this way since the age of three also.  I actually told Julie Newmar that I have loved her since I was a small child.  I have a fantastic Mistress.  She is not the only one I have ever had.  Read my blog.  It should help.  I did a post on how to find a Mistress a while ago.
slave2catwoman.blogspot.com

(in reply to toil4women)
Profile   Post #: 13
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