|
Emperor1956 -> RE: How to start as a Pro Domme/Mistress? (7/31/2008 12:54:34 PM)
|
FR: I have counselled several professional Dominants in their business and legal matters -- from novices to some of the most famous "names" in the business. Here's a bit of what I used to get paid handsomely for, for free (I'm home recovering from another damn lithotripsy, so put My generosity down to boredom and Vicodin):
1. But first, an aside (hey, its free fucking advice, you can indulge me!). Why assume competence? Do you know how many resturants fail within a year after opening? Do you know how many "business consultants" never have a paying client? Lack of ability doesn't stop people from making poor career choices anywhere else, why should it be a factor here?
2. Aside number 2: Becoming a pro Domme is NOTHING like opening a bar and whoever said that should just shut up and read once in a while. (If you need a point by point comparison, I could give it to you. Suffice it to say there is NO business insurance available in the USA that covers what a pro does, so that entire "helpful" discussion should be discarded).
3. Which brings me to the most important issue of business advice: Do you have the skills to run your own business? Are you a self starter? Are you a networker? Look, being a professional Dominant in many ways is not that different that being a freelance insurance salesperson (except most of the Dominas I know are more pleasant). I don't care how well you can wield a flogger, or how adept you are at the psychological nuances of humiliation, if you don't have clients, you ain't gonna eat.
4. If you do not have these skills, and you are still drawn to this career, you had best affiliate with an experienced professional and learn from her. There are many different business arrangements that are available -- from actual partnership/co-ownership, to an established "house" that will take you on, to being a freelancer who pays a percentage of her earnings to an established professional in exchange for referrals, space, etc.
5. About the law: I'm not as 'het up' on learning every nuance of the law in your jurisdiction (pretty odd, coming from a lawyer, you say? NO -- read on). The fact is that what professional dominants do is, like virtually every other legal worker in the sex industry, RIGHT UNDER the line that gets you busted -- and if someone in power wants you busted, they'll lower the line to cover your conduct and get you. Yes, you need a competent business advisor which may be a lawyer, and yes, he/she can give you broad strokes about the law. But in fact, you can never totally insulate your self from legal problems and still run the business. (And by the way, having 'your favorite boy' peruse the law on the web is -- if he is not trained in the law -- about as effective as having him go on the web and research "infected appendix". Good luck when it needs to come out!)
6. What IS effective in terms of running your business cleanly is having good relationships with relevant law enforcement persons in your community. Ladies, may I ask how many of you count a local police officer (of some stripe) as a friend, business acquaintance or perhaps even a client? Virtually every professional I've worked with had some sort of tie to authority to help her negotiate the tricky parts (or at least to warn her when the mood was shifting and her business might be in jeopardy).
I don't know that you need a "bouncer" per se, but some muscle and some connections never hurt.
7. Finally, a sad truth about prosecutions of sex-related business: VIRTUALLY EVERY ONE I'VE EVER SEEN, from full out criminal charges to the much more common zoning ordinance prosecutions, CAME FROM A NASTY SNITCH WHO WAS A RIVAL OR A DISAFFECTED CLIENT. In Chicago we've had a spate of zoning prosecutions against D/s clubs which have been pretty well traced back to a prominent, yet often ostracized, 'Dominant' in our community. I've represented several women who were "turned in" by rival professional dommes in their towns. I've also represented some who were turned in by former customers who sought to "get even" for some perceived slight.
GOOD LUCK.
E.
|
|
|
|
