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just what is contsentual ? - 7/27/2008 11:53:34 PM   
steviemichael


Posts: 177
Joined: 1/6/2007
Status: offline 		just what is contsentual ? in the eyes of the law  if a D/M goes beyone those limits and as a Result Cruel and inhumane treatment take place  what rights does a submissive have ?



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RE: just what is contsentual ? - 7/27/2008 11:57:29 PM   
Leatherist


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quote:

ORIGINAL: steviemichael

just what is contsentual ? in the eyes of the law  if a D/M goes beyone those limits and as a Result Cruel and inhumane treatment take place  what rights does a submissive have ?




The sky is falling chicken little.

Having been on the sub side a longgg time ago-they can just walk.

And there is not jack the Top can do about it.

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RE: just what is contsentual ? - 7/28/2008 12:14:29 AM   
SurrenderForMe


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Status: offline 		An incorrectly spelled word?

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RE: just what is contsentual ? - 7/28/2008 12:36:16 AM   
steviemichael


Posts: 177
Joined: 1/6/2007
Status: offline 		i have a friend she was a submissive for thirty years to her husband her Master she  was in a loving realtionship  and she commited herself to the life of Bdsm and its wide range atiudes then the realtionship went very bad that her husband /Master began a long term actions  Cruel and inhumane treatment towards her so not everything is so loving and wonderful in relationships within BSDM ,,,

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RE: just what is contsentual ? - 7/28/2008 2:24:10 AM   
simpleplan2


Posts: 461
Joined: 7/5/2008
Status: offline 		Who said that they were?  I think what some people forget is that not everyone is the same.  There are good people and bad throughout every walk of life in every orientation of life.  So your friend committed herself to her Master/husband and the relationship went bad.  She needs to decide if it's worth staying.  I understand that 30 years is a long time and I wouldn't end it lightly, however, if he was being "cruel and inhumane" then end it I would.

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RE: just what is contsentual ? - 7/28/2008 4:09:34 AM   
slaveforsure


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Status: offline 		What is consensual is what two adults agree is ok to do/have done to them. In “the lifestyle” there are things that are beyond the law that IMO if all parties involved agree is, acceptable, then it’s consensual and it’s ok.  Unless it’s a bad situation subs/slaves always have the right to leave if something is done to them they didn’t or don’t consent to.

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RE: just what is contsentual ? - 7/28/2008 5:50:58 AM   
Madame4a


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From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		its consensual

and what's consensual (or SSC or RACK or whatever) between two adults doesn't mean a hill of beans in the eyes of the law, if your friend is being assaulted, she needs to contact the police

generally, you can't really consent to assault so it doesn't mean a thing legally

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RE: just what is contsentual ? - 7/28/2008 6:26:49 AM   
DarkSteven


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Status: offline 		This is the other side of trust.  Obviously, if a slave/sub is being Topped, he or she must have full trust in his or her Top.

Afterwards, the Top must have full trust in the bottom.  Should the bottom run to the authorities and make a claim, the Top is dead meat.  A signed contract, verbal agreements, proof that what happened was within agreed-upon limits - all of it will be a very weak defense.


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RE: just what is contsentual ? - 7/28/2008 6:46:58 AM   
Evility


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a
generally, you can't really consent to assault so it doesn't mean a thing legally.


True. I once read that the most valuable thing a submissive person brings to the relationship is a willingness not to prosecute.

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RE: just what is contsentual ? - 7/28/2008 7:05:48 AM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
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Status: offline 		I'm really good at not leaving marks.

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RE: just what is contsentual ? - 7/28/2008 7:45:55 AM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
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quote:

ORIGINAL: steviemichael

just what is contsentual ? in the eyes of the law  if a D/M goes beyone those limits and as a Result Cruel and inhumane treatment take place  what rights does a submissive have ?



In the state of Texas, consensual is whenever the submissive says "yes" and the play does not result in death or dismemberment.

In the eyes of the law, those limits are set by the submissive and can be moved by  creative use of the words "Yes" "No" and "Stop".  However, the submissive is advised to be fairly articulate: a judge and jury would have a field day sorting through expressed intent if the submissive says "Don't! Stop!" and the dominant hears "Don't stop!"

Once the submissive says "no"/"stop", he or she has several rights.

The submissive can walk.

The submissive can run.

The submissive can call the cops (if the dominant refuses to stop).


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RE: just what is contsentual ? - 7/28/2008 7:56:25 AM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: steviemichael

i have a friend she was a submissive for thirty years to her husband her Master she  was in a loving realtionship  and she commited herself to the life of Bdsm and its wide range atiudes then the realtionship went very bad that her husband /Master began a long term actions  Cruel and inhumane treatment towards her so not everything is so loving and wonderful in relationships within BSDM ,,,


My former in-laws were in a completely vanilla relationship -- it went very bad and my father-in-law became horribly cruel and inhumane.. and it had nothing to do with BDSM. Sometimes relationships go bad. BDSM may add more tools to the repertoire, but it doesn't -cause- people to have problems or make them more prevalent.

Calla Firestorm


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RE: just what is contsentual ? - 7/28/2008 7:59:42 AM   
CallaFirestormBW


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quote:

ORIGINAL: steviemichael

just what is contsentual ? in the eyes of the law  if a D/M goes beyone those limits and as a Result Cruel and inhumane treatment take place  what rights does a submissive have ?




Consensual is consensual... everyone consents to what is going on. If something is happening that hasn't been agreed to, it's time to evaluate the wisdom of staying in the relationship--evaluate FAST, then get your arse out the door... the time it takes to make three breaths is about the right 'consideration period' for me. To me, consent is the only true 'dealbreaker'... if everyone didn't agree to it and someone wants to try to force it to happen anyway... well... "wantin' ain't gettin' like fartin' ain't shittin" and don't let the door hit ya on the ass on the way out.

Calla Firestorm

< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 7/28/2008 8:01:35 AM >

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RE: just what is contsentual ? - 7/28/2008 9:27:37 AM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline 		Its like this:  I consent to faceslapping in the context of play.  Sometimes, the guy I'm playing with slaps too hard and I shake my head hard, make eye contact and give him a dirty look.  He accepts that.  Its his choice to accept that, and its my choice to decide whether or not to keep playing with him.  He is free to find someone with a higher tolerance for face slapping but, for the time being, seems ok with lightly slapping my face in a symbolic gesture of dominance.  We do bondage the same way.

For a variety of reasons, mostly having to do with a D/s relationship that went bad--where light, playful faceslapping evolved into something terrifying, I do not consent to faceslapping as a means of behavioral control or punishment because its fucking scary to me and would trigger a fight or flight response.  And I don't consent to faceslapping on a whim.  Thats scary too and walking on eggshells is a shitty way to be. 

I know the difference.  My current play partner is learning the difference.  If he wasn't capable of grasping the difference, we wouldn't be playing together.  Though, when you get right down to it, its a judgement call.  For me it revolves around fear: If I'm submitting out of nothing more than fear, no matter how complete my submission, its time for me to evaluate the relationship.  In my mind, fear nullifies consent. 

< Message edited by gypsygrl -- 7/28/2008 9:34:00 AM >

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RE: just what is contsentual ? - 7/28/2008 9:59:58 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

just what is contsentual ?

Anything i consent to is consensual.
 
quote:

in the eyes of the law  if a D/M goes beyone those limits and as a Result Cruel and inhumane treatment take place  what rights does a submissive have ?

In the eyes of the law consent doesn't mean jack when it comes to bdsm.
A submissive has a right to........
*walk away
*involve the law
*stay in the relationship
*have the Dom's knee caps blown off
 
Just kidding about the last one



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