I was shopping... (Full Version)

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VadFarkas -> I was shopping... (7/28/2008 5:46:54 AM)

... at the local supermarket where I selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice
A head of lettuce
A 2 lb. can of coffee
A 1 lb. package of bacon

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk
standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'

I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the
derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single. I looked at the six
tems on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my
selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: 'Well, you know what, you're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?'

The drunk replied,   'Cause you're ugly.'




DaddyChess -> RE: I was shopping... (7/28/2008 8:44:25 PM)

LOL.... if he was truely drunk.. how would he know what ugly looked like unless he was used to going home with it at 2am... LOL




GreedyTop -> RE: I was shopping... (7/28/2008 9:56:47 PM)

*snort*




Termyn8or -> RE: I was shopping... (7/29/2008 12:03:37 AM)

If you drink milk, use whole milk.

T




VadFarkas -> RE: I was shopping... (7/29/2008 5:07:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Termyn8or

If you drink milk, use whole milk.

T


Will that make me pretty?




VadFarkas -> RE: I was shopping... (7/29/2008 5:12:11 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddyChess

LOL.... if he was truely drunk.. how would he know what ugly looked like unless he was used to going home with it at 2am... LOL


Bob works hard at the plant and spends two nights each week bowling and plays golf every Saturday.
His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, 'Hey, Bob! How ya doin?'
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
'Oh no,' says Bob. 'He's in my bowling team.
When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, 'How did she know that you drink Budweiser?'
'I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club.
I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey.
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob, starts to rub herself all over him and says,
'Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?'
Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab.
Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.
Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it .
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book.
The cabby turns around and says,
'Geez Bob, you picked up a real bitch this time.'




GreedyTop -> RE: I was shopping... (7/29/2008 8:54:30 AM)

lolol




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