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Chinese Cookie Wisdom - 11/16/2005 12:00:19 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline 		i've been saving my chinese cookies for awhile. Having read them, i thought i'd share. (i wonder how one gets hired to write Chinese cookies?)

1. You are heading for a land of sunshine. (Please Gawd, let me find my One someplace warm!)

2. Find release from your cares; have a good time. (Please Gawd, let me find my One soon and start playing!)

3. You will pass a difficult test that will make you happier. (i suppose prospective Doms and Masters all have "tests".)

4. The best prophet of the future is the past. (Egads!)

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 11/16/2005 2:28:59 PM >
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RE: Chinese Cookie Wisdom - 11/16/2005 9:43:05 PM   
FangsNfeet


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Status: offline 		Don't forget to always end the Cookies Fortune with "in bed"

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RE: Chinese Cookie Wisdom - 11/17/2005 1:14:15 AM   
NakedOnMyChain


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Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		The worst, and most recent fortune cookie I had said, "There is always something more you could be doing." THPPPPPPPTTTT!!!!! That goes right along with my horoscope from a couple of weeks ago, "There are robots on Mars and men on the moon. Your goals are not always clear." Huhwhatdidtheysay? Yeeeeaaaaahhh, about that. I layed the newspaper down, stepped slowly away from it and ran as soon as I was out of sight. Then I realized I hadn't done the crossword yet and I ran back.

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RE: Chinese Cookie Wisdom - 11/17/2005 5:01:35 PM   
MadameDahlia


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From: SoCal aka Hell
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

Don't forget to always end the Cookies Fortune with "in bed"



You're missing a key part!

It's in bed...... with chickens.

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Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
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"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

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RE: Chinese Cookie Wisdom - 11/18/2005 2:31:51 AM   
brightspot


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quote:

It's in bed...... with chickens.


We end the fortune with; "under the sheets".

*Brightspot

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RE: Chinese Cookie Wisdom - 11/18/2005 3:30:09 AM   
MadameDahlia


Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
Status: offline 		On top of the sheets... in the sheets... just so long as it's clean, kosher and in bed with chickens!

I save all of the fortunes I get (and steal some from people who don't want theirs!). I've been collecting them all year. I put them in a tea cup that I have placed inside a Chinese take out box.

Here is but a small sampling.

- The wise thing to do is to prepare for the unexpected... in bed with chickens.
- You have a kind and generous heart... in bed with chickens.
- You are admired for your adventurous ways... in bed with chickens. (Oh good grief...)
- You will travel far and wide... in bed with chickens.
- You are heading in the right direction... in bed with chickens. (I think PETA would disagree!)
- Happiness always accompanies with (yes the word with is there too) you... in bed with chickens. (I'm not entirely sure how happy I'd be sharing my bed with fowl.)
- (Original spelling included!) You will never hesitate to tackl the most dif-ficult problems... in bed with chickens. (Hmm, what sort of problems would occur with chickens in one's bed?)

Always keep in mind folks... Kinky is using a feather... perverted is using the whole damned chicken.

_____________________________

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

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RE: Chinese Cookie Wisdom - 11/18/2005 8:59:09 PM   
Craftsman


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadameDahlia

- (Original spelling included!) You will never hesitate to tackl the most dif-ficult problems... in bed with chickens. (Hmm, what sort of problems would occur with chickens in one's bed?)


Most difficult problem with occuring with chickens in one's bed would be if they started poking with their pecker when one was ill prepared and unclad. Better that way than in bed with squirrels if one is unclad and male, I guess.


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RE: Chinese Cookie Wisdom - 11/26/2005 7:10:10 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline 		Funny but bawdy joke:

A small town can only support one cathouse. A customer shows up; pays his $20 and is told "see the first door on your left". He enters and finds a chicken. Disgruntled, he goes to the manager and complains, but no joy. No refund, nothing. So he figures, well, i paid for it, so.....

Later he joins the crowd at the bar, where a glass allows patrons to watch two people making love. He laughs and makes a comment to the guy next to him at the bar.

Guy replies "this is nothing...just a short while ago some guy was trying to f**k a chicken."

LMAO.

candystripper

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