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RE: advice about age..... - 7/29/2008 1:27:12 PM   
NewandSexySub702


Posts: 21
Joined: 7/28/2006
Status: offline 		For me, Age wasnt a big issue, when it came to family, but some friends yes. My friends thought i was crazy, until they saw how happy i was, but they stilll make fun and jokes, and with my family, they always knew i would end up with a older man. I have always been attracted to tolder men, ever since i was young. My Sir is 44 and i am turning 21 in August. My Mom at first did have a problem with my Sir, not because he was older, but because of how much older. She has gotten over that and tends to joke with my saying, since i cant control you,and you dont listen to me and your "boyfriend" can im going to call him and tell him what your doing.If she only knew how close to the truth she was.

(in reply to DarkVictory)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: advice about age..... - 7/29/2008 1:33:52 PM   
Sub4You4UKOnly


Posts: 716
Joined: 7/6/2008
From: Mooland
Status: offline 		My Master is 3 years older then I am and my mum hates it...she wants me to have someone younger and closer so I just turned round and said to her "Want me to have another rapist for a boyfriend then?" and it shut her up. I told her she can take it or leave it, I love him and im not changing it for her...shes so hypocritical as theres 8 years diff between her and her fiance. But age really doesn't matter. If you love someone then you can't help it, just go for it.

_____________________________

The Art To Art Is In The Artists Heart
Resident Moomoo
Name : Zoe
MySpazzness

(in reply to NewandSexySub702)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: advice about age..... - 7/29/2008 1:44:32 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkVictory

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkVictory

I have no interest in meeting her family. 



That not exactly true Sir .... you expressed a great deal of interest in meeting my sisters ... and in certain lights ... even my mother!


True enough.  But does sodomy count as a formal introduction?



I think even You would say "Good Morning Mrs Softness" .. before sticking one to my mother.



_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





(in reply to DarkVictory)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: advice about age..... - 7/29/2008 1:51:51 PM   
Daes


Posts: 246
Joined: 4/20/2007
From: Diamond Bar, SoCal
Status: offline 		I'm 22, Sir is 38.

On my mexican side, my mother, aunts and my older cousin April, I believe would not approve of the age difference. However I do think that this is something they can overcome in time.

On my japanese side... my dad would probably ... I dont know. But my uncle terry and aunt karin already know about him and pretty much think that if Im happy then everything is good and they also understand that its serious. Hopefully I can get this kind of reaction on my moms side as well. But I dont know.

Either way they will have to become aqcuainted with his presence, I dont plan on leaving him.


_____________________________

~*Estrellita*~
I want to be in surrender of His strength, of His power. Alone, I am nothing, but in His arms I am all things...

~His puppy~

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: advice about age..... - 7/29/2008 2:09:40 PM   
DarkVictory


Posts: 247
Joined: 8/7/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkVictory

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkVictory

I have no interest in meeting her family. 



That not exactly true Sir .... you expressed a great deal of interest in meeting my sisters ... and in certain lights ... even my mother!


True enough.  But does sodomy count as a formal introduction?



I think even You would say "Good Morning Mrs Softness" .. before sticking one to my mother.




Bernd over luv and show us your chocolate starfish.

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: advice about age..... - 7/29/2008 2:19:01 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		I double ... donkey ... dare you to say that to my mother

really ... it will be fun picking an outfit for your funeral that matches your dress code .. and is appropriate for mourning

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





(in reply to DarkVictory)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: advice about age..... - 7/29/2008 2:23:16 PM   
DarkVictory


Posts: 247
Joined: 8/7/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

I double ... donkey ... dare you to say that to my mother

really ... it will be fun picking an outfit for your funeral that matches your dress code .. and is appropriate for mourning


The funny thing is kiddo, thast I would. 

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: advice about age..... - 7/29/2008 2:41:49 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		luckily for all of us .... you don't like older women! ....

anyway ... back to the topic at hand!

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





(in reply to DarkVictory)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: advice about age..... - 7/29/2008 3:00:01 PM   
IvyMorgan


Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
Status: offline 		My mum was brill when she met the ex.  Nice as pie to his face, and when he left, oh the obscenities flew, and the derogatory comments were everywhere.  Weirdly, she did say she didn't like the "deferential, demeur me, who deferred to him."  I just wasn't my usual self, ya see.  (She's a bit more used to the girl who'll stand up in front of crowds and give speaches, or sing operas, or just be smart and witty and confident, and she can't see how that can *also* work in the instance of being submissive to someone.  But, it was weird how she picked up on the dynamic, and chose to hate that too.)

So, yeah, her was older, and that was part of the problem.

Gotta hand it to my mother though, she can't think of any reason why anyone would want to date me, opera singing, cake baking, confident, witty, intelligent public speaking aside.

So, erm, yeah, family no longer get to know about my relationship life, in any of its form.  I'm sad about this, but, if all they're going to do is disapprove and judge and put me down because of choices that make me happy, well then, I guess I'll live with keeping myself secret.

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: advice about age..... - 7/29/2008 3:05:09 PM   
Viridana


Posts: 754
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jezzabelle19

alright question for the subs with older Dom/mes. im not talking a few years im talking more than 10 years. im 19 and i know that if i brought a Dom home that was in his 30s, 40s or older my friends and family would freak. my question is this how do you handle your friends and family concerns? can you mix your relationship with friends and family or do you just keep the two completely seperate? 


My spouse is 22 years my senior. I even have a stepdaughter that is one year older than me (she calls me mom hahahah).
The first few months we were terrified of how our closest of kin and friends would react. After nearly 6 months when we had already established that this wasn't some summer crush but a relationship we both seriously wanted to pursue we decided to jump into the deep end of the pool.

We introduced one another to our families with the attitude that we are two people in love and that we compliment each other so nicely that we don't even notice the age difference. If we don't notice it, why should they? For us, both of our families were a little shocked at first, some relatives even being a bit rude but as time passed they learned to accept it mainly because we made it very clear that this is our choice and it is not an option to have a relative's stand tear us apart. You don't have to approve of us being together but show us some civility. If you really care for me than be happy for me etc.

His kids took me well (with some notches of course), and we have many mutual friends in the local scene. Today, two years later, most of our circle don't even notice our age difference. They even think us being together is the most natural thing.



(in reply to jezzabelle19)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: advice about age..... - 7/29/2008 7:11:45 PM   
Sandyshores29718


Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline 		*quick reply*

It helps with my mother that my step dad is 20 years older than her, so age to them is just a number. Now, with the rest of my family...When asked how old he is I reply "old enough to be a adult and do adult things". Age is just a number. I'm in love with a 45 year old man and my main play partner is 44. My parents know about them both. Shocking is that they don't give me hell cause I know they do not agree.  I let some of my friends know about the 45 year old, but thats just cause I dont feel like getting hell from them. We are not what you would call a classic relationship, so you can't judge us by the "normal" rules. We spend time alone mostly, but in public I will kiss him, hold his hand, his mine..ect...

If you worry all the time about what others think you could very well let something wonderful pass you by. Live your life for yourself and to hell with everyone else. What does age matter? I'm 21 and hes 45...the age difference is a lot more than my norm, but when you find that right person you throw the normal rules to the wind and trust your heart.  When you find the one you want to submit to, to love, to worship...trust me age will not matter. :)

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: advice about age..... - 7/29/2008 7:19:17 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		For the first few years, I hid and lied.  Which isn't easy, but what I decided was the best course.

When I had gained what I thought was enough life skills and independence (and about to graduate college so things needed to be done), I came out with it.  My mom cried and was very upset, but at that point enough time had passed for me to grow into something of an adult and I was strong enough in my choice that she knew she had to simply accept it.

And the next guy, and the next guy.  Fast forward three years later with me moving out of state, living on my own and taking great care of myself for a year, moving back to home (she knew to be grateful for that), and still happy and fine- she was finally just happy to see me happy.  She'll never love the choices I've made for myself (my partner is 16 years older), but I trained her what was really important for me.  And I didn't back down and let her control when it really mattered.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: advice about age..... - 7/30/2008 5:30:01 AM   
VioletAshes


Posts: 101
Joined: 1/16/2008
Status: offline 		My Husband/Dominant is 12 years my senior and this has never been an issue with my family nor my friends particularly when they have seen how happy I am and well taken care of.
 
If your family and friends have concerns it could not be simply related to age. Perhaps you should ask them what their other concerns are.

_____________________________

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'm not like other girls that you know
but I believe I'm worth coming home to"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: advice about age..... - 7/30/2008 5:51:56 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		Funny thing about age.....at 19 it's a big thing.  Sir being 10 years older than I and 67 years old means nothing at all. 

(in reply to jezzabelle19)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: advice about age..... - 7/30/2008 7:10:26 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

I double ... donkey ... dare you to say that to my mother

really ... it will be fun picking an outfit for your funeral that matches your dress code .. and is appropriate for mourning


I don't know that I would go as far as to kill him for saying that to my mom, but I would seriously hurt him and he wouldn't be able to poke a chocolate starfish for a longgggg time after.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: advice about age..... - 7/30/2008 7:13:01 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		My first Mistress was a lot younger than me. My family gave me flak about it, but when they saw she wasn't going anywhere, they pretty much gave up.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to jezzabelle19)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: advice about age..... - 7/30/2008 8:00:43 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I am going to be 39 in Oct and my Master will be 58 in Nov. To us it  is not big thing my Mom always says age is all in your head, and you are as old as you feel.  All that aside i think age is just a number, and i have alway liked older men anyway.  When my parents met him they thought he was a very nice young man and they could see how i smiled when i saw him so it did not matter to them.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to thishereboi)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: advice about age..... - 7/30/2008 3:05:26 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

I double ... donkey ... dare you to say that to my mother

really ... it will be fun picking an outfit for your funeral that matches your dress code .. and is appropriate for mourning


I don't know that I would go as far as to kill him for saying that to my mom, but I would seriously hurt him and he wouldn't be able to poke a chocolate starfish for a longgggg time after.


oh I would *never* hurt DV .... never!

It would be my mother who gutted Him like a fish over the Earl Grey and cucumber sandwiches ....

gotta watch this English Society Matron types .... honestly ... all they have to do all day is sit about .. and plot

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





(in reply to thishereboi)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: advice about age..... - 7/30/2008 4:54:10 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jezzabelle19
alright question for the subs with older Dom/mes. im not talking a few years im talking more than 10 years. im 19 and i know that if i brought a Dom home that was in his 30s, 40s or older my friends and family would freak. my question is this how do you handle your friends and family concerns? can you mix your relationship with friends and family or do you just keep the two completely seperate? 

I just turned 36 and Master is soon to be 62 (that's a 26 year age difference, to make it simple).  My family has zero concern about this because I have never dated or been seriously involved with anyone my own age or younger.  When I was 19, I had a multi-year, committed relationship with a 57 year old man.  My ex-husband will soon be 48 so that's a 12 year difference.  That's probably the least age difference I've had in serious relationships.  I just need an older, wordly-wise man to be devoted to.  I had a wonderful father so it's not like I'm seeking some father-figure.  I'm simply attracted to older men.  Pretty simple.

My family would be more alarmed if I got involved with some young fella, frankly.  They'd wonder where I was and what they'd done with me.  My Mom is only 2 years older than Master and they hit it off wonderfully.  She (as well as my other family and friends) respect my choices, respect my partners, and fully understand that He and I have more in common that I do with anyone else, regardless of how many years before me He was born.  We don't keep anything "separate"...............luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to jezzabelle19)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: advice about age..... - 7/30/2008 5:36:25 PM   
Jnj


Posts: 72
Joined: 9/28/2004
Status: offline 		FR

Jim is 16 years older than I am, and we were an M/s couple first, fell in love, and married.   It was difficult for my mother to come to terms with this, although the rest of my family, especially the men, handled it well.  We've been together 8 years now, and my mother and husband get along fabulously.  She understands now that I find security in stability and calmness, both characteristics being more likely in someone older than I am.   My life has taken a different path than if I had married someone my own age and done the first career, first house, first child thing together -- I think my parents appreciate the different path my life has taken because of Jim's age, and in trying times, they have found his maturity and intelligence to be a benefit to our family.

Over time, if your partner has a positive impact on your life that is visible to your family and friends, the age will cease to matter to the people who find you important.

(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 40
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