RE: advice about age..... (Full Version)

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smartalex -> RE: advice about age..... (7/30/2008 6:03:25 PM)

When my older sister started dating someone 15 years older, my mom's reaction was "Now is when I stop dating younger men."  When my sister started dating someone 30 years her senior, everyone thought he was nice enough, and he had great stories to tell about being at Woodstock--as well as the original ticket in the frame, because by the time he got there, the gates were crashed down.  My sister broke that trail for me. . .too bad she never became someone's property, that would have been nice of her to blaze through that one as well.

Some of your family members may have issues based out of concern for you. More likely their issues are their own. If you're old enough to be a consensual adult, you're old enough to be able to nod & smile, thank them for their concern & move along. 




MasterHermes -> RE: advice about age..... (8/5/2008 5:46:05 AM)

Last time, she was 16 years older than me and everybody loved her. I think it depends on your relationship with your family and friends, his personality, and your current age. They might be always against it, or just be concerned because they still think you are not old enough to take responsiblity of your life or they might be ok with it from the beginning. If your family is against it , some tough times may be waiting ahead but in social life it all depends on how you and he represent yourselves and handles the relationship. It is not easy for strangers and friends to disrespect you because of it unless they already do not have any respect for you and your life at the first point.

I wish it will work out the way you dream
Hermes




FRSguy -> RE: advice about age..... (8/5/2008 9:55:13 AM)

I have not been with someone my own age since I was 16 (I am 40 now).  Its allways kind of a shock to people when it gets 8+ years your senior but friends and family ultimatly judged them based on who they were as people. Some times the reaction was good and sometimes not so good.




akisha -> RE: advice about age..... (8/5/2008 10:17:31 AM)

When I was 17 I was with a Dom that was 31, my mom just said "As long as you're happy do what you want" And a couple years ago she made a comment that I should have stayed with him as she hadn't seen me as happy with anyone since then. (I think probably cause I was with mostly nilla men since)

My Dom now is only 5 years older then me so in my eyes that's pretty much the same age.

Age is irrelevant, it's the connection that matters and like Christine said, if someone has a problem with it, it't their problem not yours.




roland23 -> RE: advice about age..... (8/5/2008 10:30:08 AM)

Although they are long distance, both of my subs are older than me. One is five years older, while the other is pushing 60 and let me say that she looks better than a LOT of women one-third her age. I recently met someone who is twenty years youngerthan myself. For me, emotional maturity is more important than the actual age. It seems that many of the subs on this site do not feel the same way. I've encountered MANY who say no doms over 40 or 30 or 20 or 19..........




metalmiss -> RE: advice about age..... (8/5/2008 10:38:41 AM)

My girl is 23, I am 42. 19 years between us and frankly the age gap doesn't cause any problems what so ever. I get along very well with both her parents despite being closer in age to them than to her.

If anyone else has a problem it is THEIR problem, neither of U/us let their problem become O/our problem.




everhope -> RE: advice about age..... (8/5/2008 10:56:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: jezzabelle19

alright question for the subs with older Dom/mes. im not talking a few years im talking more than 10 years. im 19 and i know that if i brought a Dom home that was in his 30s, 40s or older my friends and family would freak. my question is this how do you handle your friends and family concerns? can you mix your relationship with friends and family or do you just keep the two completely seperate? 


i am now an orphan... the last of my family elders passed away in june of 06. my sisters and cousins, well ummm...never ever mattered to me what they thought in regards to my life choices. all of my close friends are either twisted kinky, or old hippies soooooooooo they would be happy along with my happiness no matter what age the man i was with.    
 
may we all find our bliss.




serisa -> RE: advice about age..... (8/6/2008 6:09:14 PM)

The Dominant to whom i am bonded is 30 plus years my senior.  We have not met each others family... however my parents know of the age gap and are OK on this one.  However, i dont think the same can be said of His family.
That being said, we pretty much keep ourselfs to ourselfs... i dont think they suffer too much because of it... its frustrating sometimes as i wish i could be a bigger part of His life... but He is worth it ... i believe age is meaningless if You are with One to whom you have that special connection... i hope all can be overcome... in my eyes, when W/we are together His years just melt away, it is just so uninportant




greenearth21 -> RE: advice about age..... (8/6/2008 6:21:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: jezzabelle19
alright question for the subs with older Dom/mes. im not talking a few years im talking more than 10 years. im 19 and i know that if i brought a Dom home that was in his 30s, 40s or older my friends and family would freak. my question is this how do you handle your friends and family concerns? can you mix your relationship with friends and family or do you just keep the two completely seperate? 


Unfortunately soem people are still closed minded and otheres are open to embracing what is different as long as its healthy.  I have a bit of both, but my general rule is that I dont really care what they think.  However i do pick and choose the friends that i'd introduce my older partner to.  For instance with my mother it's okay because she knows my preference and certainly appreciates what positive things such an age difference brings.  At the same time she warns me of the negative things such an age difference brings as well.  My brother on the other hand, i wouldnt be so eager simply because he just doesnt understand and i'm not a fan of 21 questions...especially when i dont want to answer them.  As for friends...i would only introduce him to the ones that i feel are understanding and ones who are on the same maturity level and can relate to the both of us.  I guess in short, i would only introduce him to the people who arent judgemental and think their opinions are gold.




BiteGirl -> RE: advice about age..... (8/7/2008 4:52:06 PM)

I had a dom who was a fair bit older than me too, but we never really met each others families. So it was never a real issue.

Sorry, I'm not much help, but I have been where you are if you needed the support.




JanusDom -> RE: advice about age..... (8/7/2008 6:45:25 PM)

I can relate in two ways...

When I was younger I almost exclusively dated girls 15-20yrs older. I got lots of flack, especially from their families. As long as you can look at each other, say it doesn't matter, and make out when the meeting is all over then it doesn't matter. Hey, if I wasn't a well paid profesional they'd probably have complained about my salary...big deal...

Now that I'm quite a bit older I've dated much younger--as young as legal in one case. We pretty much had the same rule that I had when I dated older women...we kept it from everyone until we were so certain that it really didn't matter what they said.

Parents and family are funny. If they are naturally supportive, then they'll support any relationship. If they're naturally picky, then they'd just find something else to complain about if the ages were similar--so don't worry about it!




dove967 -> RE: advice about age..... (8/7/2008 6:47:22 PM)

Ok...Daddy and I have been married for 6 years.  I am 40yrs old and He is 34yrs old.  My Dom is 47yrs old and my very dominant vanilla boyfriend is 26yrs old.  So trust me,  age is just a number!!!!  Just enjoy each other !!


dove




Dnomyar -> RE: advice about age..... (8/8/2008 5:48:16 AM)

dove no wonder women on here bitch about not finding a man. You have them all.




pixidustpet -> RE: advice about age..... (8/8/2008 11:09:39 AM)

miss satan has a lovely boyfriend.  she's 25, he's 43.  i'm 45.  it amuses me.  [:D]

kitten




MamaDomme1 -> RE: advice about age..... (8/8/2008 11:38:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

dove no wonder women on here bitch about not finding a man. You have them all.


No shit!  Makes me wonder if I need to change my profile to say *s* type or something just to get a man!!!!




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