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Actual Insurance statements - 7/29/2008 2:04:06 AM   
jesiul


Posts: 111
Joined: 7/16/2005
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The following are actual statements on insurance claims

Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.

I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

In an attempt to kill a fly I drove into a telephone pole.

I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.

I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian.

My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him.

I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of the way when I struck the front end.

The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.

I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.

The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.

I was backing my car out of the driveway in the usual manner, when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several times before.

I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries.

The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing.

The car in front of me stopped for a yellow light, so I had no choice but to hit him. (She pushed him through the intersection)

I pulled in to the side of the road because there was smoke coming from under the hood. I realized there was a fire in the engine, so I took my dog and smothered it with a blanket.

The claimant had collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were - Q: What warning was given by you? A: Horn. Q: What warning was given by the other party? A: Moo.

No one was to blame for the accident but it would never have happened if the other driver had been alert.

I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight.

The accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week.

Windshield broke. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo.

I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk.

The accident happened because I had one eye on the truck in front, one eye on the pedestrian, and the other on the car behind.


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RE: Actual Insurance statements - 7/29/2008 4:34:43 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline
ROFLMAO!!!

(in reply to jesiul)
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RE: Actual Insurance statements - 7/29/2008 5:02:14 AM   
AquarianMale53


Posts: 117
Joined: 4/23/2004
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sounds like a whole bunch of candidates for Bill Ingval's ... "Here's Your Sign"

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RE: Actual Insurance statements - 7/29/2008 9:59:08 AM   
HypnoticDan


Posts: 463
Joined: 5/23/2007
Status: offline
I like the one about the guy who got his cigars insured for fire damage.  Then he smoked them and claimed the money because they were destroyed in "24 separate small fires".  He won in court but the insurance company used the court records to charge him with 24 counts of fraud.  They won.

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RE: Actual Insurance statements - 7/29/2008 2:56:52 PM   
Saratov


Posts: 1716
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline
Fraud or Arson?

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RE: Actual Insurance statements - 7/30/2008 7:45:58 AM   
Termyn8or


Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline
I do believe it was arson.

T

(in reply to Saratov)
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RE: Actual Insurance statements - 7/30/2008 8:01:39 AM   
Zaraseeks


Posts: 130
Joined: 9/5/2007
Status: offline
wow, i was so so sad today this totally cheered me up...tho i will worry a little more now when driving...damn voodoo!

(in reply to Termyn8or)
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RE: Actual Insurance statements - 7/30/2008 2:25:21 PM   
sirsholly


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Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
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too funny...

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RE: Actual Insurance statements - 7/30/2008 2:32:22 PM   
impishlilhellcat


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Joined: 3/26/2006
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oh my goodness

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RE: Actual Insurance statements - 8/9/2008 11:26:05 AM   
DaddyChess


Posts: 193
Joined: 4/11/2008
Status: offline
I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.


I think I have a new Favorite... LOL

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RE: Actual Insurance statements - 8/10/2008 2:15:58 PM   
BlackPhx


Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline
These a definately a g great example..used to work for an insurance company..people can get really, really creative.

poenkitten

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RE: Actual Insurance statements - 8/12/2008 5:59:25 PM   
RedStilettos


Posts: 14
Joined: 10/15/2007
Status: offline
if I had my mother-in-law in the car I'd be driving for the nearest embankment, too.  Add my sister-in-law to the mix and I'd be happy to run head on into a semi truck. 
LOL

(in reply to BlackPhx)
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