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15 things to do in walmart - 7/30/2008 1:18:47 PM

Lucylastic

Posts: 40310
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I apologise if this has been done before, ......

Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner is taking their sweet
time:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when
they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3'
in housewares ..... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll
invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why
can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick
your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he
knows where the anti- depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission
Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different
size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK
ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal
position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

( And; last, but not least!)

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and,
then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

Lucy

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RE: 15 things to do in walmart - 7/30/2008 2:24:00 PM

sirsholly

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LMAO!!

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RE: 15 things to do in walmart - 7/30/2008 2:34:34 PM

favesclava

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i can see being escorted out by friendly men in white coats. LOL
.

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RE: 15 things to do in walmart - 7/30/2008 2:45:37 PM

CarrieO

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thank you so very much for the much needed laugh.....that was funny!

the real question is.....how many of these things have each of us done or would we be willing to do?

i'll be doing #10!

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Post #: 4

RE: 15 things to do in walmart - 7/30/2008 2:52:28 PM

AMaster

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Very good. Thank you.

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Post #: 5

RE: 15 things to do in walmart - 7/30/2008 4:01:29 PM

Hanable

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never gets old.. never ever.

H >:)

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RE: 15 things to do in walmart - 8/1/2008 2:08:02 PM

Confetti1

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extremely funny!!! my friend loves "that store" i'll have to send these to her.

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RE: 15 things to do in walmart - 8/1/2008 2:16:40 PM

MizSexyVixen

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I have never had a clerk in walmart ask if they could help me, no matter WHAT I was doing, although I admit I usually do not play around much in the firearms dept.

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RE: 15 things to do in walmart - 8/1/2008 2:50:03 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
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From: St George Utah
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Things that Steel HAS actually done, And if you call the Las Vegas Wal Mart on Charleston Off Decatur you will find I have been Trespassed off the property and am no longer welcome in thier store.

1) Find the Smallest Bike you can in the bike section and ride it around the store. If Asked tell them you will be buying it, if not asked when you get to the front of the store inform them you changed your mind on the bike and are no longer interested.

2) Grab Random things, they don't even have to be clothes and ask anyone near you "Does this make my Ass look Fat?"

3) Take a Box of Condoms to the dressing room counter and ask to try them on. If the lady is VERY old it is so much funnier.

4) Go to the Automotive section and set up the layout of your car with acessories. Lay out Floor Mats and Seat Covers and Air Freshners and a License plate cover then sit down and wait for somoene to notice you and pretend to drive.

5) (This isn't as funny now that I have a kid as it was when I was a Junkie, just so you know I realize now how STUPID this was) Put Bleach and other houshold cleaning supplies in the childrens toy section (Look Yell at me in you want but I know today that it was stupid)

6) Ask Customer service to Page Actors from the 40's and 50's I once talked a young kid into asking Greta Garbo to meet her party at customer service, two minutes later his Manager came and yelled at me for being a Punk.

7) Pretend to be Jimmy Stewart from Harvey and see how many kids can actually see Harvey However be careful I had to convince Security that I was not a Pedophile.

8) This is the one that got me kicked from Wal-Mart, this only owrks for guys. Grab 10 dresses or Nighties and ask to use the Changing room. Most of the time they will let you do it. Then walk out wearing the dress and go to look for the person who is supposed to be waiting outside to tell you if you look pretty in them. I got away with two sundresses but when I came out in the shear Nighty Top and the miniskirt I was informed that the police had been called and I needed to go get dressed and wait for them in the Office in the back of the store. It was less than fun explaining that it was a joke and then being called a pervert and asked if I got off on that kinda thing. I wanted to play along and act like I did but the cops were pissed and wanted me to give them a reason to take me to jail, or at least pepper spray me.

Have Fun at Wal Mart.

Steel

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RE: 15 things to do in walmart - 8/1/2008 3:54:52 PM

Lucylastic

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hahahhahah Steel ok thats funny:)
Lucy

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Post #: 10

RE: 15 things to do in walmart - 8/2/2008 12:44:08 AM

L8bloomer

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From: Your imagination
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO

the real question is.....how many of these things have each of us done or would we be willing to do?

i'll be doing #10!

I personally like #1 myself. :D

When I saw the title to this thread, my smut-filled mind had an image of boinking in some corner/dressing room. I've been single too long...

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RE: 15 things to do in walmart - 8/2/2008 2:06:09 AM

Thadius

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9e1alirMhc

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RE: 15 things to do in walmart - 8/2/2008 9:34:37 AM

DaddyChess

Posts: 193
Joined: 4/11/2008
Status: offline

We're gonna have to change the list a little. Most Wal-marts have gone to all hard flooring and pretty much done away with lay-a-way. Still funny though.

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Post #: 13

RE: 15 things to do in walmart - 8/5/2008 8:25:49 PM

virgini970

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loved them all thanks

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Post #: 14

RE: 15 things to do in walmart - 8/6/2008 7:46:50 AM

BlackPhx

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Make that Blue coats, they will deliver you to the men in White coats.

Snicker...was funny though

poenkitten (Who once sat on a jury trial for a shoplifter at a Walmart who was apparently oblivious to a 6'6, 280 lb white man following her around from aisle to aisle as she shoplifted. After that nothing people did at wally mart surprised her)

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Post #: 15

RE: 15 things to do in walmart - 8/6/2008 10:07:06 AM

HypnoticDan

Posts: 463
Joined: 5/23/2007
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and they don't have a gun section any more.

how about standing outside the store and greeting the people who come out? "welcome back to the real world!"

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Post #: 16

RE: 15 things to do in walmart - 8/8/2008 11:19:50 PM

DomDolf

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Joined: 7/11/2008
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Actually only some stores dropped gun sales in 2006. They have them here in my neck of the woods.

I love the "Welcome to the Real World"

Dolf

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Post #: 17

RE: 15 things to do in walmart - 8/9/2008 10:50:14 AM

Steponme73

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LMAO Way to funny!!!

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RE: 15 things to do in walmart - 8/9/2008 2:21:54 PM

youngsubgeoff

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I got banned from one around here for using the store's PA for cannibal corpse lyrics (yes, I got that idea from metalocolypse)

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RE: 15 things to do in walmart - 8/9/2008 5:58:46 PM

windchymes

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I would never do #5......do you know how long those lines are at the service desk, and how slowly they move?

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