RE: Lonliness and your M~

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RE: Lonliness and your M~ - 8/3/2008 3:49:08 PM

ProtagonistLily

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If I was in the serious pain that the OP describes, he would have seen it coming and anticipated it. I can't imagine having to say "Sir, XXX is bothering me so much I need you to stop what you are doing and attend to me right now". Again, we live together, and he knows what's going on with me and I with him. We would have been working through what ever the issue was, so that it didn't come to this.

I can't really imagine it any other way with good communication and interactions.

PL

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RE: Lonliness and your M~ - 8/3/2008 4:19:18 PM

sailorfrank

Posts: 127
Joined: 6/18/2008
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Feelings work both ways as well. But they wont work with out calm talk between you both. Dont assume how the other feels. be polite yet honest in expressing your feelings and needs.

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RE: Lonliness and your M~ - 8/3/2008 4:54:52 PM

lally3

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Joined: 3/4/2008
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you say you have never experienced this love before - then may i suggest that you are therefore inexperienced in dealing with it.

love means more when you give a person the room to express it in their own way.

by hungrily taking whatever love comes your way and still needing more, more, more - it becomes almost too overwhelming a burden, too much of a void to fill for someone. it can start to feel that whatever you give, however much you give will never be enough and that it isnt something that you are giving its something that is being taken.

love has to be given freely - it cant be taken. the moment you start to take love you prevent the giver from freely giving it, you stifle the flow.

its like a dam. you have a river flowing freely along, you think it would be better if you could keep the water in just one place, so you build a dam. the flow stops, the river dies.

and so... clumsily i reach my point. to let love flow you must step back from being that dam, give your M the freedom to express their love in their own way in their own time, it is their expression to give, not yours to demand either passively or unintentionally, but by needing it so much you are putting so much pressure on it that it cannot be given freely and love has to be given freely or not atall.

not easy because it is a wonderful thing to have but it is true that the greatest expression of love is when you let that love go to find its own way to you. you let the giver give it as their free expression to you -

best of luck and hugs. x

< Message edited by lally3 -- 8/3/2008 4:59:43 PM >

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RE: Lonliness and your M~ - 8/4/2008 6:02:19 PM

slaveluvs2btied

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Joined: 2/17/2008
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[/quote]

I acknowledge that, and she knew beforehand... I am trying to figure myself out. It was simpler when she was guiding me, but I still now and did then have to find my own way. I really don't have time anymore, I want to experience some of what life and love is before I pass...

I'm just stuck up on love, because I never really experienced it before~

[/quote]

i totally understand how you feel... i have loved before... but i have never really been romantically loved before by anyone one in any of my relationships D/s or vanilla. its just something that takes time to find and you cant let yourself get stuck on it because it lessens your chances of it happening on its own even more.

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RE: Lonliness and your M~ - 8/4/2008 6:12:12 PM

littlewonder

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quote:

ORIGINAL: berdachegirl

what do you do when you are lonely and wanting to be held by your Master/Mistress? What do you do when you are hurting so bad you just want to be held?

I try to find something else to do to keep my mind and self occupied. I realize I have to keep on living my life even though I terribly miss him and wish he was here with me. But life goes on and you move on with it the best you can.

quote:

What if they don't want to be intimate right now

I try to stay out of his way because I realize we all need our downtime and sometimes we all have times when we don't want to be intimate. Sometimes people need their space.

quote:

or would rather be intimate with someone else and leave you in the other room?

If it's at that point I'm already gone! I don't get involved in such relationships.

If your partner is doing that and you both have discussed it and it's still happening and you're not happy about it then you have two choices...stay or leave. No it's not an easy choice but still a choice you need to make.

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RE: Lonliness and your M~ - 8/4/2008 6:19:29 PM

LATEXBABY64

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what is wrong with wanting a loving relationship what is up with people omg I think the glue and fabric of great bdsm relationship include love on many levesls with out it it is just another sixites free love sex thing wtf no way get away want none of that let that stuff die for crying out loud that way thinking is very much past times are changing so is how people build relationships you can get on board or just get on down the road days of beat me screw me leave me are gone or going lol
i think what op is wanting is very cool rock on people should be so l ucky

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RE: Lonliness and your M~ - 8/6/2008 7:02:42 PM

lostgirl83

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Joined: 2/8/2005
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Its never wrong to have needs/wants of your own unless the relationship is set up as a service or sexual type.

I personally feel I get way more emotionally attached to a Dom than to a partner in a vanilla relationship. I think the bond in a D/s relationship is a lot stronger than the conventional relationship.

In my case I know I am constantly missing my Master and wishing he were around when he's gone.

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RE: Lonliness and your M~ - 8/6/2008 7:12:53 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
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quote:

ORIGINAL: berdachegirl
what do you do when you are lonely and wanting to be held by your Master/Mistress?

When I want to be held by Him, I go to Him and initiate it. He has never refused me comfort when I'm in need. I don't really get "lonely" for Him since we are married and live together but I do miss Him when our jobs have parted us during the day.

quote:

What do you do when you are hurting so bad you just want to be held?

See above. I tell Him what I'm needing and He helps me through it. It's very simple. He gains nothing from denying me comfort and love when I'm in pain or need. He's more "touchy-feely" than I am, in truth, so it's not an issue.

quote:

What if they don't want to be intimate right now, or would rather be intimate with someone else and leave you in the other room?

Now THAT is one of my hottest fantasies but He's yet to give in to me and do it

. Seriously, though, if I was in real need of intimacy with Him at a certain point in time, there is absolutely no way He'd abandon me to "be intimate" with an outsider to our relationship. Being intimate with another is all well and good but not at a time when He sees I'm in need of Him. He'd never do that. A little fun with her while leaving me to hurt wouldn't be worth it in His mind (we've discussed something similar, so I know).

quote:

I don't know, a lot depends on your relationship I guess, but is it wrong for a slave or submissive to have needs?

Never. Face it, ALL living things have needs. Living in constant denial of them is not our kink

..............luci

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RE: Lonliness and your M~ - 8/6/2008 7:17:21 PM

fluffyswitch

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From: Buffalo
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fast reply-

i generally just tell Him. He gets more upset if i close off from Him. not to get in too much detail but we have problems with the other direction- He tends to cut Himself off from people which confuses me to no end, because i'm still not quite sure how to handle it. we're getting there though.

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RE: Lonliness and your M~ - 8/7/2008 2:06:13 AM

AllietheKitten

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Joined: 7/10/2006
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I couldn't live without touching my sub, cuddling him, holding him, talking to him about all the crazy stuff he thinks about and I think about.... I couldn't imagine a relationship where he didn't express himself, instantaneously and often. I feel honored and proud when he comes to me with problems and needs. And it turns me on that I can fulfill his needs-inside and outside the bedroom. I love being that All for him, just as he loves being that for me.
Why would you be in a relationship where you aren't personally fulfilled?

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I don't believe in forever
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But I believe there's a ghost of a chance
We can find someone to love and make it last.
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