glad I'm a woman

glad I'm a woman (Full Version)

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angelbluewingsz -> glad I'm a woman (7/31/2008 9:41:23 AM)
I'M GLAD I'M A WOMAN I'm glad I'm a woman, yes I am, yes I am I don't live off of Budweiser, beer nuts and Spam I don't brag to my buddies about my erections I won't drive to Hell before I ask for directions I don't get wasted at parties and act like a clown and I know how to put the damned toilet seat down! I won't grab your hooters, I won't pinch your butt my belt buckle's not hidden beneath my beer gut and I don't go around "readjusting" my crotch or yell like Tarzan when my head-board gets a notch I don't belch in public, I don't scratch my behind I'm a woman you see -- I'm just not that kind! I'm glad I'm a woman, I'm so glad I could sing I don't have body hair like shag carpeting It doesn't grow from my ears or cover my back When I lean over you can't see 3 inches of crack And what's on my head doesn't leave with my comb I'll never buy a toupee to cover my dome Or have a few hairs pulled from over the side I'm a woman, you know -- I've got far too much pride! And I honestly think its a privilege for me to have these two boobs and squat when I pee I don't live to play golf and shoot basketball I don't swagger and spit like a Neanderthal I won't tell you my wife just does not understand stick my hand in my pocket to hide that gold band or tell you a story to make you sigh and weep then screw you, roll over and fall sound asleep! Yes, I'm glad I'm a woman, a woman you see you can forget all about that old penis envy I don't long for male bonding, I don't cruise for chicks join the Hair Club For Men, or think with my dick I'm a woman by chance and I'm thankful it's true I'm so glad I'm a woman and not a man like you! ps- i took this from btinternet.com - some funny shit!

HypnoticDan -> RE: glad I'm a woman (7/31/2008 1:33:50 PM)
I'm glad I'm a man, a man through and through I don't "need" to get married like you ladies do My stories don't start with "jen's cousin's sister who married the grocer's wife's uncle's brother." I'm glad that I don't have to wear paint on my face or hide turning 40 like a secret disgrace. My friendships don't change on whim and suspicion. My problems with guys are handled with tradition: A fight and a beer and then buds good as new. (No shrew passive-aggressive back-stabbing to do.) My feelings are simple and plain and quite clear I don't care if that's what you don't want to hear! I'm not scared of sweating or spiders or rats, dark alleys alone or mismatched shoes and hats My pants aren't to blame if they make me look big (in fact in some ways I wish that they did) no PMS, cramps, or yeast infections my bits don't need squishing for early detection I like when my smile turns a girl's knees to putty (I don't worry that her actions look a little slutty.) I like that my muscles are chiseled and big and I don't gain a pound when I eat like a pig. My looks improve with each passing season; my actions are based in logic and reason. I don't sit at home with ice cream and a pout waiting for Mr Right to ask me out To my friends I won't bitch about lack of sex life It's simple: I fuck, then go home to my wife (!) I'm a man and goddamnit, you know that it's true: You'll complain 'til the day I die before you.

GreedyTop -> RE: glad I'm a woman (7/31/2008 6:07:04 PM)
applauds both of those are brilliant!

MadamAyesha -> RE: glad I'm a woman (7/31/2008 11:44:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop applauds both of those are brilliant! I second that! [sm=applause.gif]

monywildcat -> RE: glad I'm a woman (8/1/2008 12:30:19 AM)
Me too! Those things that guys do, in boths of those little poems, those are what keep me straight. For one more day. Well, for the most part anyways. So... THANK YOU

HypnoticDan -> RE: glad I'm a woman (8/1/2008 1:43:51 PM)
It may have rhymed well but I feel dirty for writing it because I don't agree with most of what I wrote.

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