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DelilahDeb -> RE: Domina, Domme.. Did I miss something? (8/3/2008 10:36:44 PM)
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I choose to use the term domina because it is a real word. Yes, it's a Latin word. The word domme is an invented word specific to BDSM (as far as I can tell) that combines the abbreviated dom (for dominant) withh the French word femme (for woman). Pronouncing it "dom-may" is folks' ignorance showing (the French word femme is pronounced "fehmm", roughly...there's no good transliteration for the vowel sound). I speculate at times that the usage of domme came about because of print (paper and electronic) kinky erotica. Someone who actually reads print erotica of historical as well as current types may be able to identify the period when the usage came into fashion. But it only works in print. (BBS, newsgroups, email, chat, WWW).
hardbodysub, your attitude is refreshing.
Historically, the English language standard usage assumes that anyone's gender is male:
policeman, sculptor, author, murderer, actor, waiter, Jew, dominator;
and then goes on to modify such nouns to specify the other gender:
policewoman, sculptress, authoress, murderess, actress, waitress, Jewess, dominatrix.
Courtesy of the Women's Liberation movement, the U.S. has developed gender-free terms for many of the public servant roles: police officer, fire fighter, wait staff, server, mail carrier. Other terms have simply dropped the gender distinction: author, actor, murderer, Jew.
In our particular sub-culture, gender matters to the players, so we continue to wrestle with terms.
Femdom is more accurate than domme just because it can't be mistaken when spoken aloud. But our language heritage assumes that a dom is male, hence the need for the term femdom.
Lady Delilah Deb
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