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RE: Domina, Domme.. Did I miss something? - 8/3/2008 12:56:40 AM   
MaamJay


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Re Dominus ... I know a fellow in Perth who goes by that name LOL!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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RE: Domina, Domme.. Did I miss something? - 8/3/2008 6:36:48 AM   
igor2003


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

see now... when I hear someone say this, or use this justification for putting a sex on the term I have to wonder why... do they view it as a waste of their time to ask? 
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: Slavehandsome

If you use the word "dom" interchangebly, you'll confuse whoever you're communicating with. 



As a male submissive that is searching for relationship with a dominant woman it does make a difference.  First, how many times do you see dominant women complain about all the one-line emails they get?  So, when I, being serious about making contact write to a prospective Mistress I try to write at least a little about myself and why I would be interested in knowing her better.  Now, let's say all (or most) dominants start using the title of "Dom".  They place an ad or a profile that says, "Dom seeking male submissive."  I can't send a one-liner asking if this particular "Dom" is male or female or my inquiry will probably just be trashed.  So now i have to write out a complete introduction to everyone using that title with the tag line at the end that says, "Oh....bye the way.....are you male or female?"

Personally, i like having the difference defined by seperate titles.

Oh, and just a personal beef, probably 90% of the time when a Domme contacts ME first.....it is with a one-liner!

(in reply to Missokyst)
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RE: Domina, Domme.. Did I miss something? - 8/3/2008 6:57:11 AM   
seababy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003 snip*

Oh, and just a personal beef, probably 90% of the time when a Domme contacts ME first.....it is with a one-liner!

snip*


Supply - Demand

(in reply to igor2003)
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RE: Domina, Domme.. Did I miss something? - 8/3/2008 7:03:43 AM   
igor2003


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quote:

ORIGINAL: seababy

quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003 snip*

Oh, and just a personal beef, probably 90% of the time when a Domme contacts ME first.....it is with a one-liner!

snip*


Supply - Demand



It may be supply and demand, but the results are the same.  Energy in...energy out.  If that is all the energy they are willing to put into a first contact then i can hit the "delete" button just as easily as anyone else.

(in reply to seababy)
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RE: Domina, Domme.. Did I miss something? - 8/3/2008 7:23:19 AM   
seababy


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good luck with that

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RE: Domina, Domme.. Did I miss something? - 8/3/2008 7:30:59 AM   
CallaFirestormBW


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quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003


It may be supply and demand, but the results are the same.  Energy in...energy out.  If that is all the energy they are willing to put into a first contact then i can hit the "delete" button just as easily as anyone else.


Who knows how many opportunities you have thrown away with that 'delete' key.

Calla Firestorm

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Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

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(in reply to igor2003)
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RE: Domina, Domme.. Did I miss something? - 8/3/2008 7:42:52 AM   
igor2003


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quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW


quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003


It may be supply and demand, but the results are the same.  Energy in...energy out.  If that is all the energy they are willing to put into a first contact then i can hit the "delete" button just as easily as anyone else.


Who knows how many opportunities you have thrown away with that 'delete' key.

Calla Firestorm


Can't the same be said for the women that so flippantly hit the delete key?  I won't reply any more here as i don't intend to hijack the thread.

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
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RE: Domina, Domme.. Did I miss something? - 8/3/2008 7:48:36 AM   
LotusSong


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Just call me "Steve".

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RE: Domina, Domme.. Did I miss something? - 8/3/2008 12:12:52 PM   
Steelriven


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Well, thanks for the answers everyone. But I think I'll just stick with typing and saying female dominant, or male dominant. It's so much less complicated. I mean, there is no femsub, or something like that.. Just male submissive, and female submissive, right? I dunno, I still don't see the need for all these extra words. 

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RE: Domina, Domme.. Did I miss something? - 8/3/2008 2:31:42 PM   
hardbodysub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Steelriven

Well, thanks for the answers everyone. But I think I'll just stick with typing and saying female dominant, or male dominant. It's so much less complicated. I mean, there is no femsub, or something like that.. Just male submissive, and female submissive, right? I dunno, I still don't see the need for all these extra words. 


That's one solution, and you're probably right, but it could get unwieldy at times. And, just so you know, "femsub" and "malesub" are occasionally used, although more as adjectives to describe a relationship than as nouns.

(in reply to Steelriven)
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RE: Domina, Domme.. Did I miss something? - 8/3/2008 6:00:21 PM   
DominaYork


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The history of the word has been beaten to death already. When I made the choice entering the scene of how I wished to be addressed I made it very carefully. Mistress is respectful but carries the weight of the naughty husband banging some co-worker as well. FemDom sounds, to me, clunky and well, oddly silly. I'd rather be a FemBot. Domme doesn't have the right flavor to me, it feels like an altered masculine term and didn't fit. Domina, with it's historical references of a female head of household with power, grace and really snazzy togas worked for me. I am a writer by trade. Words and terms have meaning and flavors, tones and depth. It's a personal choice I made nearly a decade ago and have stood by. It's a personal choice, just like Master, Daddy or Dom.

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RE: Domina, Domme.. Did I miss something? - 8/3/2008 8:47:59 PM   
hardbodysub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaYork

The history of the word has been beaten to death already. When I made the choice entering the scene of how I wished to be addressed I made it very carefully. Mistress is respectful but carries the weight of the naughty husband banging some co-worker as well. FemDom sounds, to me, clunky and well, oddly silly. I'd rather be a FemBot. Domme doesn't have the right flavor to me, it feels like an altered masculine term and didn't fit. Domina, with it's historical references of a female head of household with power, grace and really snazzy togas worked for me. I am a writer by trade. Words and terms have meaning and flavors, tones and depth. It's a personal choice I made nearly a decade ago and have stood by. It's a personal choice, just like Master, Daddy or Dom.



I like your choice, as well as your description of why you chose it.

(in reply to DominaYork)
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RE: Domina, Domme.. Did I miss something? - 8/3/2008 9:48:10 PM   
MsSaskia


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From: Denver
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW

Ok, here's the scoop for me. I use domina because folks insist on calling me a domme, which they pronounce "dom-ay" -- a phrase which I came to despise. I evaluated how I thought of my role in both our household and before our servants, and decided on a term that felt right for what I was and how I behaved in relation to our own household.

Because the word flows so naturally for me now, I tend to use it when referring to female dominants, though I tend to refer to dominants without gender unless I am being specific about one gender or another.

The definition that I used to determine which term I preferred to designate my role among those inside and out of our house was this one from Webster's Unabridged Dictionary:

Domina \Dom"i*na\, n. [L., lady. See Dame.] (O. Eng. Law)
Lady; a lady; -- a title formerly given to noble ladies who
held a barony in their own right. --Burrill.

It has nothing to do with being a professional dominatrix, though I am considering walking down that road. For me, it has to do with the way that I was taught to perceive myself when I was training in our household, and the dignity with which I try to comport myself at home, among our servants, and in the community.

Calla Firestorm


I loathe "domm-ay".  I'm starting to dislike domme, too, since it's such a made up word.  I get all persnickety about how domme should be pronounced like pomme or homme, but lately, I've been feeling a little silly about that, too.  I'd rather just be a dom, shortened from 'dominant', or femdom.   And why don't we say femmedomme?  Maybe there's a shortage on Ms and Es.

Domina... meh.  Makes me think of Rigel from Farscape.  I don't associate it with professional dominants so much as SCA.

Dominatrix... still kind of fun, but a bit of a mouthful. 

I'm OK with dominant, or 'control freak for fun and profit'.

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
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RE: Domina, Domme.. Did I miss something? - 8/3/2008 10:36:44 PM   
DelilahDeb


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I choose to use the term domina because it is a real word. Yes, it's a Latin word. The word domme is an invented word specific to BDSM (as far as I can tell) that combines the abbreviated dom (for dominant) withh the French word femme (for woman). Pronouncing it "dom-may" is folks' ignorance showing (the French word femme is pronounced "fehmm", roughly...there's no good transliteration for the vowel sound). I speculate at times that the usage of domme came about because of print (paper and electronic) kinky erotica. Someone who actually reads print erotica of historical as well as current types may be able to identify the period when the usage came into fashion. But it only works in print. (BBS, newsgroups, email, chat, WWW).

hardbodysub, your attitude is refreshing.

Historically, the English language standard usage assumes that anyone's gender is male:
policeman, sculptor, author, murderer, actor, waiter, Jew, dominator;
and then goes on to modify such nouns to specify the other gender:
policewoman, sculptress, authoress, murderess, actress, waitress, Jewess, dominatrix.
Courtesy of the Women's Liberation movement, the U.S. has developed gender-free terms for many of the public servant roles: police officer, fire fighter, wait staff, server, mail carrier. Other terms have simply dropped the gender distinction: author, actor, murderer, Jew.
In our particular sub-culture, gender matters to the players, so we continue to wrestle with terms.
Femdom is more accurate than domme just because it can't be mistaken when spoken aloud. But our language heritage assumes that a dom is male, hence the need for the term femdom.

Lady Delilah Deb

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(in reply to RumpusParable)
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RE: Domina, Domme.. Did I miss something? - 8/3/2008 11:00:21 PM   
Daddysredhead


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaYork

The history of the word has been beaten to death already. When I made the choice entering the scene of how I wished to be addressed I made it very carefully. Mistress is respectful but carries the weight of the naughty husband banging some co-worker as well. FemDom sounds, to me, clunky and well, oddly silly. I'd rather be a FemBot. Domme doesn't have the right flavor to me, it feels like an altered masculine term and didn't fit. Domina, with it's historical references of a female head of household with power, grace and really snazzy togas worked for me. I am a writer by trade. Words and terms have meaning and flavors, tones and depth. It's a personal choice I made nearly a decade ago and have stood by. It's a personal choice, just like Master, Daddy or Dom.


This just made me giggle because I feel the same way about these terms.  It was nice to see that someone else had the same notion as me.  I also studied foreign languages quite a bit, as well as linguistics, so words and their usage may play a part in the way I view them.

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(in reply to DominaYork)
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RE: Domina, Domme.. Did I miss something? - 8/4/2008 4:23:27 AM   
MsStarlett


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I don't care what you call me.  As long as it's not "Mommy" or "Slut".  

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the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to RumpusParable)
Profile   Post #: 36
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