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Interpreter of Maladies - 8/2/2008 6:32:59 PM

cloudboy

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I just finished reading INTERPRETER OF MALADIES, a collection of short stories by Jhumpa Lahiri.

The author is Indian, and her characters always have the task of navigating their own cultural heritage in challenging settings: in marriage, as immigrants, as nationals, etc. For women, the task is to be feminine in the Indian sense of the word (as the book conveys it), which means being subservient to a good husband (who is the provider) and versed in the art of cooking and homemaking. These roles are culturally enshrined in M and F, and as a result most of the F's endure a kind of situational sadness:

1. Not having a child means being extra lonely at home.

2. Not working means you have to ask your husband for money.

3. Pleasing a man is an art form and your first goal.

4. Lacking things to do (hobbies, career, etc.)

5. If you're not married by 27 --- you might become a spinster.

6. Without a man, you are not complete.

Although her characters seem to suffer from these strictures, they are also emancipated somewhat by the clear expectations of their roles. Also, there is a male - female synergy at play as the gender roles are designed to be complimentary --- setting the stage for LTRs to last.

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Indian culture has a clear idea of what a woman is and should be. American Culture arguably lets a woman write her own script. What hardships do you find in forging your own path and setting your own values? Do you find yourself in tug of war situations? How's it all going? Do you feel that you are swimming against two currents? (Traditional M & F roles.)

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 8/2/2008 6:36:53 PM >

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RE: Interpreter of Maladies - 8/3/2008 6:31:43 AM

TNstepsout

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It wasn't so long ago that we had that exact same structure in place and it was awful for women. The difficultly in "writing one's own script" is the same for men and women now. What difficulties did you have in doing that? There are times when it is hard for everyone regardless of gender or culture.

I was born just at the dawning of real and complete liberation for women and what I remember most was that I was told that women could now do whatever they wanted in terms of a job or career, but I still had trouble imagining what that looked like. Even though I didn't come from a strictly traditional family, the typical roles were so common in every aspect of the world, that it was simply an accepted part of life for me. I recall one time in grade school that all the children were asked what they wanted to be when the grew up and probably 90% of the girls chose teacher or nurse. It's easy to forget how much the world has changed, but when I was young, there weren't even female postal carriers yet! The hardest part was imagining possibilities that had never existed before and coming up against "old timers" who wanted a return to old "family" values etc...

Every negative thing in society was blamed on women working and pursuing careers instead of being devoted to the family and staying home with children. It's taken a long time for new values to replace the old ones (and it's still a work in progress) where men and women are considered to be equally responsible for the stability and health of the home and family. In the long run it will be much better for everyone. Fathers will have a real connection to their children and mothers will be happier and more fulfilled. It's just taken time to sort it all out.

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RE: Interpreter of Maladies - 8/3/2008 12:40:38 PM

TexasMaam

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The toughest struggle for Me in American Society is giving a man the freedom to fail, allowing him to make his own mistakes no matter the outcome to himself or to the relationship.

For me, that aspect is the most difficult part of being a Domme in the US.

Insofar as India's society goes, most of the Indian women I know are shrewish harpies behind closed doors, women whose commands in the home are set in stone because the man realizes that if 'momma ain't happy ain't nobuddy gonna be happy' whether they admit it in public or not.

I suppose if a submissive woman writes the book , of course it would have submissive overtones and generalizations.

TM

< Message edited by TexasMaam -- 8/3/2008 12:45:03 PM >

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RE: Interpreter of Maladies - 8/3/2008 1:14:06 PM

cloudboy

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I'm not claiming to be a cultural expert, but my impression is that the book reflects traditional Indian values.

Your answer is a bit ironic to me, because your difficulty is restraint, not the desire for power and control. This bespeaks a high comfort level with your own liberation and freedom.

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quote:

Every negative thing in society was blamed on women working and pursuing careers instead of being devoted to the family and staying home with children.

The Indian perspective is that some American women have tossed the whole art of homemaking out the window --- leading to latch-key kids, take-out dinners, and children lacking in parental guidance. From my perspective the problem facing the modern American woman is her inability to be all things to all people. Something has to give in the tug-of-war between family, career, and the desire for a bread-winning husband. Happier women understand the trade-offs and are at peace with them.

To me elastic roles are best, provided couples can negotiate a good fit. Personally, I think its very important for each spouse to have some independent function in the real world --- as homemaking all by itself is isolating and mind numbing.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 8/3/2008 1:21:41 PM >

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RE: Interpreter of Maladies - 8/3/2008 1:26:23 PM

hlen5

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Some women find homemaking to be all they desire. Feminism is about having the CHOICE to be a full time homemaker. Or a full time earner. Or somewhere in between.

Thank Goodness for the loosening of roles so that MEN can have more choices too (Mr. Homemaker, for instance)!

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RE: Interpreter of Maladies - 8/3/2008 2:10:18 PM

StrongSpirit

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I have not found that male roles have loosened all that much. Guys still get quite a lot of crap for taking on the traditionally feminine roles.

Ask a male TG if they can wear a dress on a job interview, let alone in Main Street USA.

Don't get me started on dating, women simply refuse to ask me out no matter how much I flutter my eyes at them (cue laughter here)

There are many other ways, but honestly, these two are the most obvious signs. They were the most shocking thing that attracted attention in the original feminists movement (dress/dating)

< Message edited by StrongSpirit -- 8/3/2008 2:16:48 PM >

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RE: Interpreter of Maladies - 8/3/2008 2:54:02 PM

MsSaskia

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I don't agree that Indian culture has any more clear an idea of what a woman should be than Western culture does; it's changing everywhere. In rural areas in our country as well as in India, traditional gender roles are more rigidly defined, but not absolute or completely impassable. Men who step outside traditional gender roles in the US experience resistance, just as women do. My own father experienced that when he chose to be a stay-at-home dad in a rural part of the US.

I think that Ms Lumpri writes about the things she finds most interesting. What I like about her work is that she's able to look at people that are in traditional circumstances in their culture and is able to show their struggles within that dynamic. I enjoy her character developments in all her work. I think the fact that she's able to be somewhat subjective about it is an indicator that not everyone in India is as steeped in tradition as it might appear to an outsider.

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