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MaamJay -> RE: bdsm marrige (8/3/2008 12:41:39 AM)
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In most places, there are certain words that have to be part of a marriage ceremony by law, so they are non-negotiable. You'd also need to consider the celebrant and the guests (especially if children are present) if you want to include something overtly bdsm. It could be possible to include some subtle aspects in the vows, especially where the promises of obedience come in. One option a lot of couples choose is to have a vanilla marriage for the general friends and family, and then a D/s collaring which may/may not be on the same day.
However, in the hopes they might offer some ideas and inspiration, I have pasted in some of the words I have used in a collaring ceremony, most of which aren't too "in your face", or could be modifiable without too much drama. It's always best to write your own, but sometimes it's good to have something more than a blank sheet of paper to start with!
Dominant says:
I promise to trust you and cherish you, to always place your welfare above all else, to take care of you and your needs (as a submissive) and to keep good control of you as your heart desires. I want to help you explore yourself and your boundaries, to help you grow as a person.
I acknowledge that I am human and thus fallible, I know I will make mistakes at times, and I will never be too proud to ask for your forgiveness.
I promise to use the skills of leadership and organisation that I have been blessed with to guide us both and to carve out a joyful pathway for our lives together. That is why I want to know your thoughts, ideas and opinions, especially before I make a decision for us both. I will continue to help and encourage you to realise more of your dreams. I promise to treat you with respect and love as befits the one God made to be My partner in life.
submissive says:
i am (lists good qualities). i joyfully surrender these qualities to You (my Mistress), who knows and cherishes their value. i offer myself in heart and body to You, so that i may be fulfilled by meeting Your needs and helping You to realise Your dreams as You have helped me realise mine.
i will serve You with honesty, valour and trust. i will avoid putting myself first, but not at the expense of my identity. i seek always to clearly communicate my needs and my fears to You. i am Your champion and i will defend You to the uttermost limits of my strength, but, standing before You, i lay aside all defences. i offer You my trust and respect and i ask You to lead me in turning my weaknesses into strengths, so that i may better serve You. i ask that You protect me from harm and surround me with Your warmth and guidance when i am faced with my darkest self. i look to You to have the wisdom to know when to push me to grow, when to teach me discipline and when to show me Your gentleness and mercy. i trust You to heed my voice and views, to nurture my love and desire for You, to approach my failings with humour, compassion and firmness for the good of us both, to bring shape and meaning to our lives. In return, i offer You all that i am, in joyful and complete devotion.
sub: Knowing my power, i kneel humbly before You.
Dom: Knowing your power, I stand before you and accept the power you yield to Me.
sub: Knowing my intelligence, i am guided by You.
Dom: Knowing your intelligence, I seek to guide you.
sub: Knowing my creativity, i am inspired by You.
Dom: Knowing your creativity, I seek to inspire you.
sub: Knowing my wit, i gain pleasure from Your laughter.
Dom: Knowing your wit, I share in your laughter.
sub: Remembering my honour, i am loyal to You.
Dom: Remembering your honour, I value your loyalty.
sub: Knowing my courage, i place myself at Your mercy.
Dom: Knowing your courage, I shall be merciful to you.
Hope that helps!
Maam Jay aka violet[A]
Edited to try to make sense of the fonts LOL!
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