Is this common?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Is this common?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Is this common?

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Is this common? - 11/17/2005 9:02:50 PM

quietlilone

Posts: 29
Joined: 8/1/2005
Status: offline

I had recently been chatting with a Dom, just for the sake of conversation between two ppl that had a common interest, when he stated something that totally threw me for a loop.

" i'm saying that the sexual is the most intense manifestation and that day to day tasks aren't that extraordinary submissive or not..."

"that is what a submissive is,, a pleasure slut,, a maid can be had anywhere,, if i need my shirts ironed properly i'll look for a good cleaner or do it myself,,"

I am aware that subs are sometimes labeled "service" or "sexual" but is there a happy medium, and is it more common for a Dom to look for this type then opposite spectrums of the scale?

Personally I gather a lot of mental pleasure (for lack of a better descript) in serving a Dom in domestic ways and enjoy it as much as I do in the physical sense of servitude to him. I can't be the only sub who thinks like this, right?

Just being a curious girl....ok maybe I just want to be perfect *wink*

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Is this common? - 11/17/2005 9:05:50 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

As to your question of is it common- yes.

It's also common for doms to want "the whole package" which includes wife/girlfriend and slut/sex slave plus domestic servant girl.

Doms and subs are of all different orientations and desires. Just have to find one that's compatible to you.

(in reply to quietlilone)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Is this common? - 11/17/2005 10:42:01 PM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
Status: offline

that about sums it up

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Is this common? - 11/19/2005 3:35:03 AM

CanisMajor

Posts: 42
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: quietlilone

"that is what a submissive is,, a pleasure slut,, a maid can be had anywhere

I've never hired a maid as such, but as a result of my profession I've hired a number of assistants who cover maid-like duties as part of their job. And I'll tell you, even when there's serious money on the table, health benefits, maybe even occasional expenses-paid travel to desirable locations, it must be damn hard to find a good maid.

By good I mean one that is self-motivated to do good work. One that can spot what needs to be done before I have to write a memo about it. One that is accepting of or flexible enough to deal with unexpected circumstances. One that is able to take instruction and guidance - in short, one that is trainable. One that actually gives a rat's ass whether your shirt gets burned or not.

It is all far, far better with a submissive oriented at least partially toward service. They draw a dividend from the work that goes beyond a paycheck, and it makes a big difference, not just to the quality of the work, but also to the quality of life. You definitely aren't the only sub who thinks the way you describe.

As to what is most common amongst doms, I've no idea. My ideal is on the side of the spectrum reflected by Jubal Harshaw's "front," so I'm not representative. But doms who value a sub who devotes at least part of their energies to service are not what I would call rare.

(For those who find my reference is on the tip of their tongue but isn't coming, think Stranger in a Strange Land.)

_____________________________

The Big Dog

(in reply to quietlilone)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Is this common? - 11/19/2005 7:41:24 AM

Manawyddan

Posts: 701
Joined: 1/2/2005
From: Petaluma (Northern California)
Status: offline

Personally, I have a wife as well as a girlfriend, both of whom I can have sex with and the latter of which I can cause pain to.

I am very interested in having a sub (not that I have time for such an addition), but the last thing I'm looking for would be sex (per se).

_____________________________

_______________________________________________
"She always had a terrific sense of humor"
(Valerie Solonas, as described by her mother)
_______________________________________________

(in reply to quietlilone)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Is this common? - 11/19/2005 8:49:14 AM

Wolfie648

Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Just being a curious girl....ok maybe I just want to be perfect *wink*

His ideas are exactly that. His ideas. Unless you are _his_ sub/slave. The next dom you talk to will likely have different views.

ie don't change your ways for a 'friend'. Change your ways for the one(s) you wish to serve. If you wish to serve your friends well then that's ok too, just be aware of what and why and (hopefully) enjoy the ride.

D (owner of j)

_____________________________

Possibly.

(in reply to quietlilone)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Is this common? - 11/20/2005 6:40:45 AM

Kiaban

Posts: 124
Joined: 7/11/2004
Status: offline

Really I think this is one the of the things that seperates people who are into kinky sex from "lifestylers". I am not sure how common it is but I do that those who are more than weekend warriors want alot more than a bit of kinky sex. Submission and Dominance in a variety of situations and manifistations can be just as stimulating outside of the bedroom as in.Then again all they have done is simple narrow down the field you are looking in, obviously interest there are different.

(in reply to quietlilone)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Is this common? - 11/20/2005 7:44:32 AM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: quietlilone

Just being a curious girl....ok maybe I just want to be perfect *wink*

The trick is to be "perfect" for the dominant you chose. What everyone else thinks doesn't matter

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to quietlilone)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Is this common? - 11/20/2005 9:22:35 AM

krikket

Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

The trick is to be "perfect" for the dominant you chose. What everyone else thinks doesn't matter

That sums it up very nicely..and a few very luckly ones are able to actually obtain it.

cheers
jimini

_____________________________

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin

When your heart speaks take good notes.

(in reply to JohnWarren)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: Is this common? - 11/20/2005 9:35:52 PM

GentileDomNY

Posts: 13
Joined: 11/20/2005
Status: offline

I can appreciate him feeling that cleaning and laundry is something he can get done easily anywhere, but what seems to be missing is his understanding that you get a great deal of mental pleasure from doing it, and his desire to give you that pleasure.

Maybe you would both be happy with special experiences. I'm sitting here wearing a sweater that a friend hand knitted for me many years ago, and her doing that has an enduring special signifigance to us both. Special dinners are always a good touch.

(in reply to quietlilone)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: Is this common? - 11/21/2005 10:37:33 PM

Dracironsgirl

Posts: 175
Joined: 7/2/2005
Status: offline

quote from quietlilone:

Personally I gather a lot of mental pleasure (for lack of a better descript) in
serving a Dom in domestic ways and enjoy it as much as I do in the physical
sense of servitude to him. I can't be the only sub who thinks like this, right?

i have to agree with you lilone, i also feel the same way as you said too. my Master is so wonderful that He encourages me to be the person i am inside while teaching and guiding me to getting to know the slave in me i've never known before....a sub/slave is not a dormat i hear all the time from Doms.

_____________________________

~love a Man in control~

(in reply to quietlilone)

Profile

Post #: 11