Jacques1000
Posts: 273
Joined: 10/30/2005
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Well, I expect you will get a multiplicity of responses, but my understanding and interpretation is that is somewhere between collaring and acquaintanceship.
For example, a Dom may extend a covenant of care and protection to a new sub or someone who is vulnerable. They provide a waching brief over the purpose, and act in the same way as a benevolent BDSM uncle I suppose. There are far looser ties, and there is sometimes a mentorship aspect to it.
I think I have a couple of these relationships. One to a woman of 18 who is vulnerable, adorable, but has been open to unscrupulous predation by Doms who have exploited her very badly. I counsel her (in a non-psychotherapeutic sense), advise her, and ensure that her progress and experience are positive. She lives in another country, but with time zones we have regular Q and A sessions and kind of theoretical training. I encourage her to have a range of play experiences in a relatively sheltered context.
However, if she wants to develop a relationship or a play connection with someone outside of a playparty, I am the filter. Usually I will agree readily because most people are genuine and OK, but she needs to be "managed" a little, and I need to protect and nurture her.
The second example is a much older woman who has returned to BSDM after a long time away and only a short stint. She got involved with a UK Dom who was an absolute asshole and deceived her very badly. She got herself involved in a very intense online relationship but came to me asking if I though the Dom she was involved with was acting appropriately. He was clearly not, and was clearly inexperienced and probably married and almost certainly a good groomer and liar.
I basically introduced her to a local scene where she could draw from a richer pool of knowledge from experiences Doms and Subs. I have less to do with her decision-making but she will consult me over various issues and I advise as best I can.
She is still finding her feet but has enjoyed a more solid platform. THose newest to BDSM communities are the most susceptible to predators.
In terms of your question, neither is formalised, and perhaps only the former is a good exampe of what I think you might mean.
Anyway, xxxx, I hope that helps.
Master Jacques
< Message edited by Jacques1000 -- 11/18/2005 5:01:42 AM >
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