RE: Do you still see a sub as sub when?

RE: Do you still see a sub as sub when? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master

Message

SweetSarijane -> RE: Do you still see a sub as sub when? (11/19/2005 12:53:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily I gotta agree with Lucky Albatross on this one. I stopped thinking about whether I was going to be viewed as 'submissive' enough a long time ago. Really, the same rules of vanilla dating really apply here: Be yourself. There was a girl once who tried to stuff all her personality, bite her tongue and try to be attractive to the Doms by showing how submissive she was. It didn't work for her because it was her personality, wit, charm, and even sometimes her indignation that made her stand out as interesting. Let me tell you, that was the hardest 5 minutes of my entire life ~grin~. If you posture for the "Doms" what happens when you can't stuff your personality anymore and the real you comes out? You end up with a weird "Jeckle and Hyde" thing and no one wants that. Just be who you are. You can be vivacious and full of personality AND still be polite and work within the social structure of WIIWD. There's a Jack for every Jill. Just be yourself and find each other. Lily Very well put and thank you. Your words brought to mind one of the problems I deal with all the time. I'm a very shy person and tend to be more quiet and reserved until I get to know someone. As I get to know and become comfortable with someone, then I start to relax and let the fullness of my personality out. I'm always me. I don't know how to be anybody but me. Some of the core values instilled in me in my upbringing are respect and common courtesy to others. I can be sassy, mouthy, teasing, "tweak the tiger's tail", but, there is a line for me that I do not cross in doing so. It's never done to be mean or hurtful to the person ever. Now I do have a temper and if I lose control of my temper it's not pretty(when is it ever when a person does?), but that is a rare occurance and even then there's a line I don't cross. That said...sorry for getting off track there......I don't "posture" as you put it...like how you put that by the way.....I'm just me. My personality is always there just more subdued (I guess is the word) at first. It's just that at first "me" is shy and kind of reserved until I start to become comfortable with someone. Do you think being like that can come off as posturing though?

SweetSarijane -> RE: Do you still see a sub as sub when? (11/19/2005 12:58:09 PM)
LuckyAlbatross, I just wanted to say I very much enjoy your posts and I'm glad you responded to my thread. I like the style in which you present your views. In reading your posts in various threads, you have given me much food for thought in several areas. As far as I'm concerned you definitely rock.

SweetSarijane -> RE: Do you still see a sub as sub when? (11/19/2005 1:01:40 PM)
I wanted to say thank you to all of you who responded in this thread. I very much appreciate the feedback on this from all of you. It has helped me a lot and given me a lot to think on. Best to all,

fastlane -> RE: Do you still see a sub as sub when? (11/19/2005 1:52:41 PM)
Sarah In a word "NO" To be submissive to your Master is a gift to you both, to be independent and not a jellyfish, is even better. There comes a difference when and if you top from the bottom, but that is a different category all together. Speak your mind, stand up for what you want and know you can still submit to the right Master, who respects your strength and independence. K? Peace, Kevin

girl4you2 -> RE: Do you still see a sub as sub when? (11/19/2005 10:57:31 PM)
to be submissive doesn't erase all traces of an intelligent, thoughtful, insightful, and conversant person. if it did, all submissives would have iq's of 6. done respectfully, you should hold onto you, else you will lose the person whom he was attracted to in the first place, and find yourself perhaps lost or worse, resentful at what you've become. we are not in this life to change people massively, we adjust to each other and learn to hear varying viewpoints. automatrons we are not...yet. we are all humans, dominants and submissives/slaves, and we fell, think, and respond to our environment. sad will be the day when we just act with no thought or caring for another human or the world.

MastersBabieGirl -> RE: Do you still see a sub as sub when? (11/20/2005 8:50:02 PM)
personally when i have been neglected due to my master being over tired over worked etc i will start to disobey to get him back to himself i dont think its being bratty in our case its something that he enjoys as well

girl4you2 -> RE: Do you still see a sub as sub when? (11/20/2005 9:07:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: girl4you2 to be submissive doesn't erase all traces of an intelligent, thoughtful, insightful, and conversant person. if it did, all submissives would have iq's of 6. done respectfully, you should hold onto you, else you will lose the person whom he was attracted to in the first place, and find yourself perhaps lost or worse, resentful at what you've become. we are not in this life to change people massively, we adjust to each other and learn to hear varying viewpoints. automatrons we are not...yet. we are all humans, dominants and submissives/slaves, and we fell, think, and respond to our environment. sad will be the day when we just act with no thought or caring for another human or the world. of course, i could be wrong about all of this....feelings and automation seem to be at odds.

SweetSarijane -> RE: Do you still see a sub as sub when? (11/20/2005 9:15:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fastlane Sarah In a word "NO" To be submissive to your Master is a gift to you both, to be independent and not a jellyfish, is even better. There comes a difference when and if you top from the bottom, but that is a different category all together. Speak your mind, stand up for what you want and know you can still submit to the right Master, who respects your strength and independence. K? Peace, Kevin Thank you for your words, they are greatly appreciated. I will definitely continue to be myself. As to topping from the bottom, I've read enough in the forums about it to have a basic understanding of it. Not something I really see myself attempting/doing. Open, honest communication would avoid that I would think and I have a tendency to be blunt, speak my mind, once I get to know someone.

SweetSarijane -> RE: Do you still see a sub as sub when? (11/20/2005 9:21:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: girl4you2 quote: ORIGINAL: girl4you2 to be submissive doesn't erase all traces of an intelligent, thoughtful, insightful, and conversant person. if it did, all submissives would have iq's of 6. done respectfully, you should hold onto you, else you will lose the person whom he was attracted to in the first place, and find yourself perhaps lost or worse, resentful at what you've become. we are not in this life to change people massively, we adjust to each other and learn to hear varying viewpoints. automatrons we are not...yet. we are all humans, dominants and submissives/slaves, and we fell, think, and respond to our environment. sad will be the day when we just act with no thought or caring for another human or the world. of course, i could be wrong about all of this....feelings and automation seem to be at odds. Well said. I try to show common courtesy and respect in general and I am always me, just a bit subdued at first. Feelings and automation are at odds. For me, I'll go with the feelings side of things rather than automation. Sorry if I'm not making sense...just tired and fuzzy brained tonight.

SweetSarijane -> RE: Do you still see a sub as sub when? (11/20/2005 9:28:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MastersBabieGirl personally when i have been neglected due to my master being over tired over worked etc i will start to disobey to get him back to himself i dont think its being bratty in our case its something that he enjoys as well Bratty is a fine line and in my opinion whether you are bratty or not is for him to decide and if he's enjoying it then to him you're probably not bratty....did that make sense? If he's happy and you're happy then that's what matters. [:)]

Dracironsgirl -> RE: Do you still see a sub as sub when? (11/21/2005 5:25:42 PM)
i act sassy and all that sometimes and Master is toterant of this as it is the way i am it doesn't make me any less submissive to Him and that is all that matters ....

WickedKev -> RE: Do you still see a sub as sub when? (11/22/2005 10:10:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SweetSarijane A conversation I had recently with a Dom friend sparked this curiosity. We have talked online for a few months, and I am comfortable enough with him to speak my mind quite openly on things, and generally ask his opinion on whatever comes to mind. I also am comfortable enough to "tweak the tiger's tail" so to speak and just be me. I asked him if he still saw me as submissive even at the times I'm being sassy, mouthy, or teasing him, or pushing his buttons, and the times when I bluntly voice my opinion or view of things, or if to him it made me less submissive. It made me curious to hear from other Doms their views on this. When a sub (your sub or a good friend who is sub) does this, does it change your perception of his/her level of submissiveness, make them seem less submissive? Is it offensive to you? I live with my slave and her two children, there are times when our D/s lives have to take a back seat, I won't even talk about the BDSM aspect with two teenage kids around (anybody want them they are going cheap!) But I still see my slave as submissive, and even though she will sometimes test the waters there are boundries and she knows not to cross them.

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125