How do you.... (Full Version)

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Madame4a -> How do you.... (8/5/2008 4:51:34 AM)

I know.. shoot me now for this... but...

How on earth do you worship someone, online?

I can't tell you how often I get mail from people who assure me they will do just that!

If you're going to really worship me, you'd better be prepared to take out the garbage, and not online.

Convince me?

I don't get it, never have and I suppose never will.

Small aside, I'm a bit grumpy, very stressed and everything seems to be going straight to hell in my life right now... so
'scuse the snarky...



OnlyHisLovebug -> RE: How do you.... (8/5/2008 5:00:57 AM)

Our relationship started out online- it's where we 'met'.  Due to circumstances, we had a very long distance relationship for a very long time.  But, it worked for us.  Was it ideal?  No.  Would we have preferred being together physically sooner?  Yep.

Was I able to 'worship' Him online?  You bet.  It was not easy, and was definitely different than what happens r/t; but, I made the effort- and there was never anything left to chance.  I made darn well certain that He knew how I felt about Him.  Daily rituals, lots of dependable communication, sending Him little care packages in the mail, making sure I knew the stats of His favorite sports teams, watched His fav TV shows so we always had something to 'connect' us- even when we were apart.

I know it does not work for everyone.  But, when the options were to worship from afar for a while- or scrap something that was by far the best thing I had ever encounterd,  there was no question (for either of us) that staying the course was the way to go.  To have Him, even thousands of miles away, was a treasure--- one that the conveneince of having someone else locally could not compete with in any way.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: How do you.... (8/5/2008 5:32:46 AM)

I think the difference is that you're a chick, Ladybug!  I am, for good or ill, a queen of long distance relationships, and they can work well enough, but the format of the offerings has to be acceptable to both!  Most of the offers of long distance  "service" seem to involve a webcam, and watching a stranger on cam isn't the best possible use of MY time.  (Watching close personal friends on cam, now....  [:D]  )

Honestly, though, if a person cannot enhance my life, they are not serving me.  The fun thing about being the dominant is that *I* get to define what service is, not him!



ShiftedJewel -> RE: How do you.... (8/5/2008 5:35:00 AM)

I don't know, I just don't get it either. I've gotten emails from male subs from other countries and they say "I'll do anything you ask!!" My reply is mainly... "ok, I could use a foot massage. Do you see the issue here???"
 
Then there are the ones that tell me they'll be in the US in such and such month... so my reply is "cool, contact me when you get here"... You know? That hasn't happened yet. I don't know, I don't really get the whole online only thing. I know people do it and I know people swear by it, but it does nothing for me.
 
Jewel



MsStarlett -> RE: How do you.... (8/5/2008 5:58:13 AM)

I've been trying to work this one out myself.  Most of the guys want me to tell them HOW to do it.  Can't really think of anything.  Some people just do it well... others don't.  My NYC boy used to write me the most luscious emails describing everything he would do for me when we next met.  Basically, wank fodder... but he was so sweet and so romantic about it.  It was delightful.  But how does a Mistress TELL a sub to do that? 

--------------

To bad my sweet New Yorker turned out to be a gigolo who wanted me to send him $300 for his time to come and fulfill all those fantasies he wrote.  *sigh*  Can't have everything.



shimson -> RE: How do you.... (8/5/2008 6:18:40 AM)

Like any other things in life its depends of the point of view
From the way I see it its even bigger devotion and admiration to do thing without the touch of my Goddess, its pure devotion and submission.

When You are being controlled online its not about the online things and tasks only, its about being in chastity, about doing what Your Goddess order you on your daily schedule .

Bdsm its about feelings, submission and devotion and there is 8000 ways to show it online, and it feels very deep.

As I said,  a point of view



Madame4a -> RE: How do you.... (8/5/2008 6:43:22 AM)

Perhaps thats it then... it seems to be great for the submissive side of the equation


quote:

ORIGINAL: shimson

Like any other things in life its depends of the point of view
From the way I see it its even bigger devotion and admiration to do thing without the touch of my Goddess, its pure devotion and submission.

When You are being controlled online its not about the online things and tasks only, its about being in chastity, about doing what Your Goddess order you on your daily schedule .

Bdsm its about feelings, submission and devotion and there is 8000 ways to show it online, and it feels very deep.

As I said,  a point of view



MsKChicago -> RE: How do you.... (8/5/2008 8:58:33 AM)


I agree with you completely, Madame4a. Being a sadist and a touchy feely kinda gal, I need the physical human contact. Granted not all are as fortunate as I am when it comes to "close physical relationships" (meaning: "close" as in the same room).
 
One's location, marital status, as well as a myriad of other factors may make the online relationship more appealing.
 
I met my submissive online. She lived in Alaska and I in Illinois. Though we met online, we did not "play" online. We moved quickly to phone conversations as well as daily emails. I assigned her a few tasks to help her improve her life (ie, house cleaning schedule and eating better), though nothing I would consider a complete D/s relationship.
 
We set a date to meet 100 days from the time we started talking. We felt we would know each other pretty well by then. Never once did she offer to massage my feet until she could actually touch them.
 
Again, I need the physical contact. It has been pointed out to me by several people (funny thing is they were all submissives), that perhaps I lack the imagination required to engage in an online relationship. Personally, it would bore me over time.
 
MK



MsIncontrol -> RE: How do you.... (8/5/2008 9:45:23 AM)

I am with you.  It isn't for me.  I prefer to actually see the marks I leave, hear the sounds I create and feel the body that is touching me.

The worst part is all of the "gentlemen" who can't bother to read my profile that says "Real Time Only" and then think I can make an exception for them.  UUGh.

Good to "see" you by the way.

On a side note:  If you have met, planning to meet soon and are using online training as a means to get through a separation, I understand that.  I have a former partner who was in the Army and I used some online training while he was stationed away...but it was a small part of our already established relationship.



LadyPact -> RE: How do you.... (8/5/2008 10:06:38 AM)

Good Afternoon Madame4a.  To start, I really hope that last line in small print isn't as bad as it sounds. 

I was chatting with a friend the other day.  This person happens to be an online friend, since we've never met in person.  Part of the conversation went along the lines of catching up on each others lives. We were talking about things had changed for Me over the last month or so, and then he got Me.

So now you're a cyber domme?

Ummm, no, I'm not.  I'm sure it probably looks like that to some folks.  After all, My sub isn't here with Me anymore.  I no longer type these things up while he's sitting at My feet.    Most of My communications with him are now electronic, rather than in person.  Sometimes, there are phone calls.  It's not the same as having him here.

Does that mean he worships Me online?  Truthfully, I couldn't say.  No, he's not here to take out the garbage or clean the cat box.  Is it automatic that I mean less to him because he's no longer here?  Did that one day that changed his location change absolutely everything?

Well, in all fairness, it did and it didn't.  When I look down at the place he used to sit here on the floor, he isn't there.  When I want to play, he isn't on the receiving end.  When I go to events, he's not in the car.  There's no one kneeling when I get home.  There's no one banging around the kitchen making waffles in the morning or serving My diet pepsi in the evening.

It might not be the physical, but part of him is still here with Me.  I know that sounds completely nuts, but it's the only way that I have to explain it.  Nobody ever said emotions were logical.  Sometimes, the things you expect to turn out one way, turn out to be completely something else.

I know this wasn't really an answer to your question, Madame4a.   I took it more of an opportunity to ramble, but maybe there was still something worthwhile in the content.  I wish My best to you and yours.


Edited for a word misplacement.  I have got to learn to proofread before posting.

And edited again to comment to MsInControl.  Yep, that  dang Mistress Military is a real bitch.




MamaDomme1 -> RE: How do you.... (8/5/2008 10:44:41 AM)

I don't get the online thing either-- unless it is an already established relationship that distance is just got things on hold.

I don't see how I can actually be "served" over the internet or phone.  When I get the requests for either, I tell them rather matter-of-factly, if that is what they are wishing, they can deposit X amount into my paypal account and THEN I will take time out of my busy schedule to sit down and devote X amount of time to take care of their wank needs.

Now, I have indeed met some wonderful friends online.... but it progressed to real life.  It never started as a wanking session with some sub claiming to be worshipping or servicing me while they showed off masturbation techniques.

Just not my cuppa.



azropedntied -> RE: How do you.... (8/5/2008 11:30:36 AM)

The same way you give and get an Online spanking or flogging and rope work ? yeah i dont get it either .. BDSM is a mental and contact thing  and for me ,best left to be a in person thing [:)]



LadySunn -> RE: How do you.... (8/5/2008 9:11:08 PM)

That is so funny.  I have someone who just suggeted that tome. I recently moved from Ohio to GA -I had just begun a brand new budding D/s relationship and I suggested that he travel. He suggested that he could worshipme by email. How do you worship online?



mztresn0w -> RE: How do you.... (8/5/2008 9:25:28 PM)

I don't understand the on line thing even with the webcams and phones. I want to reach out and touch someone and not with a phone or a webcam. Just not my thing.



UmbraDomina -> RE: How do you.... (8/5/2008 9:56:19 PM)

I have tried beating my laptop, and putting clamps on my mouse...... neither of them reacted the way a sadistic woman wants them to, they just layed there. *sigh* guess I have to stick to real time :)



shimson -> RE: How do you.... (8/5/2008 11:18:03 PM)

maybe.
never was a domme :-)
quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

Perhaps thats it then... it seems to be great for the submissive side of the equation


quote:

ORIGINAL: shimson

Like any other things in life its depends of the point of view
From the way I see it its even bigger devotion and admiration to do thing without the touch of my Goddess, its pure devotion and submission.

When You are being controlled online its not about the online things and tasks only, its about being in chastity, about doing what Your Goddess order you on your daily schedule .

Bdsm its about feelings, submission and devotion and there is 8000 ways to show it online, and it feels very deep.

As I said,  a point of view




dragon2760 -> RE: How do you.... (8/5/2008 11:51:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: UmbraDomina

I have tried beating my laptop, and putting clamps on my mouse...... neither of them reacted the way a sadistic woman wants them to, they just layed there. *sigh* guess I have to stick to real time :)


Thank You.  That was great.  [:D]

I mean don't get it either, then again I'm also one of those that needs that physical contact.



darchChylde -> RE: How do you.... (8/6/2008 2:46:31 AM)

I don't worship Ma'am, online or in person.  Sure, i work my ass off for Her when She needs or simply asks me to; but i don't see how that has anything to do with "worship".

wor·ship  1chiefly British : a person of importance —used as a title for various officials (as magistrates and some mayors)

2: reverence offered a divine being or supernatural power; also : an act of expressing such reverence

3: a form of religious practice with its creed and ritual

4: extravagant respect or admiration for or devotion to an object of esteem <worship of the dollar>
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/worship


Now, it looks to me that to worship somebody i would have to either deify (from definitions 2 and 3) them or objectify (definition 4) them.  I believe we can eliminate the latter as objectification of one's dominant is probably looked upon with disfavor in the majority of your acredited bdsm or Ds texts.

This leaves us deification of the dominant, which is particularly popular in many circles.  We see it all the time.  While I'm not going to say that another's expression of Ds is wrong (ok, i know i have before; but i'm trying to be more open-minded), i can confidently say that it is wrong for me.  I believe that when you treat somebody as something other than human, whether more than or less than, you run the risk of losing focus on the real person involved and that real person's real desires and needs.  Now I love Ma'am realistically, all of Her many great traits and qualities; and even Her faults and imperfections.  She isn't a goddess/ She is a real living, breathing wonderful woman. 

I wouldn't have Her any other way.



MsStarlett -> RE: How do you.... (8/6/2008 4:01:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: UmbraDomina

I have tried beating my laptop, and putting clamps on my mouse...... neither of them reacted the way a sadistic woman wants them to, they just layed there. *sigh* guess I have to stick to real time :)


Thanks!~   I needed a laugh this morning.



housesub4you -> RE: How do you.... (8/6/2008 5:04:47 AM)

Madame4a;

I agree with you on this issue.  I don't get it at all.  I have had several Dommes ask me to serve them online and I just don't see how it is suppose to work.

Well I could go off on a rant about this, but I'm in to good of a mood today. 

The local  county fair is in town and it's time to go see tomorrows steak today!

Hope everyone has a great day




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