RE: Playing: Private vs Public (Full Version)

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silkncarol -> RE: Playing: Private vs Public (8/5/2008 4:32:04 PM)

I've played in public.... local dungeons and clubs, private parties and large events.....and yes, i do have a small exhibitionistic streak....it's fun to have access to different equipment and not have to worry about noise or space. There is different energy present too.....

My favorite would have to be private though......it's more intimate.....where my public play tends to be more BDSM,  private play is far more sexual...it can be edgier and intense. I like a mix of both,  so private offers a freer opportunity........  besides, i'm quirky in that i don't much care for my orgasms to be a spectator sport......I guess i'm rather old fashioned in that idea...lol



StrongSpirit -> RE: Playing: Private vs Public (8/5/2008 4:38:05 PM)

For role playing, I generally prefer something private.

Some of my artistic scenes need public space.  It's not that big a deal to wander around wearing only paint in your own home. 





laura2161 -> RE: Playing: Private vs Public (8/5/2008 4:44:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I have no desire to ever play publicly.  I'm very private in my sex life and have no desire to display it for a group of people. 


Ditto.



AquaticSub -> RE: Playing: Private vs Public (8/5/2008 4:53:04 PM)

I don't have much of a preference as I enjoy them both a lot. At home we don't have to worry about taking too long so that everyone can have their turn. However, at a dungeon there isn't a phone to ring, I can't see the laundry that needs to be done, there aren't pets to start puking in the middle of the scene, etc.

They both have pros and cons and I like to have both in my life.



christine1 -> RE: Playing: Private vs Public (8/5/2008 5:26:10 PM)

i won't play in public and i don't care to see others do it either.  my focus is on my relationship and that isn't for the consumption of others.



OsideGirl -> RE: Playing: Private vs Public (8/5/2008 9:38:08 PM)

I love playing at the Lair. I feed off the energy. Not to mention an evening spent with friends.

I love playing at home. It's intimate and hot. He pushes me further than he does in public.



DiurnalVampire -> RE: Playing: Private vs Public (8/5/2008 9:43:03 PM)

I will have to agree with Aileen as well. When we scene it is intensely private, and personal. I couldnt imagine beng able to get into that headspace around others. With Fox, it is alamot always sexual and while I can be a bit of an exhibitionist he defiantely is not. I couldnt enjoy it if he wsnt.
Angel and I are not as sexual, persay, but there is no way he would ever get into his babyspace with anyone else around. It takes a lot to get him there just around me.
And, since I do not like to share my boys, attention wise or physically, playtime in public wouldnt have any advanage over private.

DV



MaamJay -> RE: Playing: Private vs Public (8/5/2008 10:24:05 PM)

I like both for the different energies. In public there is more to play with, and the other sights, sounds and smells tend to be arousing even when you're not actually watching others. As a sub i love the freedom of being able to get naked and get spanked etc without anyone staring at me in a disapproving way, despite my sumptuously fleshy body! Total opposite to trying on clothes in a woman's dressing room I can tell you! That has to be the most humiliating thing i do, i hate it! Though it has improved of late as stores are so greedy they don't have enough staff to have one poking her nose in the curtain every few minutes! Sorry, side rant over! As a Domme, I still enjoy public play and also the social side of it. Plus I have learned SO much from others, that benefits My private play. Where I played was well controlled (and later We hosted the parties!) ... open only to members who had been vetted at a munch, so that meant that the creepies found it hard to get in. One or 2 managed it by putting on a good show at the munch, they were dealt with promptly! I don't see bdsm as My "sex life" - it permeates My whole life, so I don't have a problem with doing mostly non-sexual play (though i've managed to cum a few times as a sub anyway [:D]).

I also love private play for the fact that it CAN readily get sexual which tends to suit Master. And there have been some intimate play scenes that simply wouldn't have been feasible at a club. Just means that both can be awesome for Me.

Maam Jay aka violet[A]



Leatherist -> RE: Playing: Private vs Public (8/5/2008 11:04:01 PM)

At home.

I'm not an exhibitionist, and I always get top drop after playing in front of a crowd.  I think they steal our energy-I hate vampires.



RavenMuse -> RE: Playing: Private vs Public (8/6/2008 3:11:20 AM)

I enjoy both though I veiw them quite differently in that private play is fully part of the way I run My life whilst public play is just something We do, an enjoyable change of pace.

I play a damnsight harder in private than in public less variables to be controlled in order for My girl to be safe, such as if I drop her so far that she can't walk for ages, I can just put her to bed, I don't have to get her home first *g*

Private play tends to be mostly ad hoc, when I am in the mood... if I can't sleep, its 3am, I am bored and get an itch to play... We play!

Public play I am not in charge of the timeing, I have to arrange for Us to get there, etc. it becomes more of a set piece.



RCdc -> RE: Playing: Private vs Public (8/6/2008 3:16:05 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I have no desire to ever play publicly.  I'm very private in my sex life and have no desire to display it for a group of people. 


Which is cool for you - but for many people - particularly during public play, playing isn't about sex.
 
the.dark.



RCdc -> RE: Playing: Private vs Public (8/6/2008 3:19:14 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: christine1

i won't play in public and i don't care to see others do it either.  my focus is on my relationship and that isn't for the consumption of others.


Again, public consumption isn't necessarily an issue during play.  But to expand on what you said, you posting here is public consumption - even if you never typed a thing about your personal relationship, the advice you give to others shines a focus on it, whether you realise it or not, and leaves it open for public consumption.
 
the.dark.



Aileen1968 -> RE: Playing: Private vs Public (8/6/2008 3:48:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I have no desire to ever play publicly.  I'm very private in my sex life and have no desire to display it for a group of people. 


Which is cool for you - but for many people - particularly during public play, playing isn't about sex.
 
the.dark.

 
I completely understand that.  For me, though, it's 100% sexual and the main reason why I don't play publicly and was my answer to the op...
quote:

What do you prefer? Playing/Sceneing at home or playing at a local BDSM dungeon/club?

Why?



DaddyKeeper -> RE: Playing: Private vs Public (8/6/2008 4:13:13 AM)

We rarely play in public, if we do it is at the smaller, more private, local events rather than the big city clubs. Some of the things we like would get us some strange looks at such events and the headspace can be harder to slip into with more people around. When we do go out to such events it is more about the social experience thant about play



patwi -> RE: Playing: Private vs Public (8/6/2008 5:09:07 AM)

I know I could never play in public. First, because I feel that sort of thing would be entirely private (sexual or not) and I'd hate to share. Secondly...*laughs* because I don't even like to be seen in various states of undress by my man. I can't imagine how humiliated (not in a good way) I'd be if I were exposed like that in public.

If there's a word for an anti-exhibitionist, i'm it.



LATEXBABY64 -> RE: Playing: Private vs Public (8/6/2008 5:11:41 AM)

spice vs shock   yep thats what it is all about         one ton ones are always the best



Sabella -> RE: Playing: Private vs Public (8/6/2008 2:56:31 PM)

I enjoy both but I love public play. I'm one of those evil vampires Leatherist :D but I enjoy swimming in the energy and will leave energized and recharged.

I do think a lot depends on the crowd. A few folks around who are having fun is terrific, a crowd hanging around yakking and walking around is not, it disrupts the energy. The Tops can't focus for warily watching them and the bottoms can't get into it because the connection isn't 100% so yes it matters.

For me public play often pushes me to an area I can't quite get to in private. Not sure if it's the possiblity of people watching, the energy, the music - but it's something intangible and delicious.



spinninsweetness -> RE: Playing: Private vs Public (8/6/2008 4:29:07 PM)

I always thought no way would I EVER play or do anything in public. Even kissing.... no not for me.

Then last Saturday I went to Subversion with friends.... it was amazing. I got so into it, watching the scenes and the people and.... loved it.

I didnt have to get naked, as I had feared, or even lose my top. Much. I was on a St Andrews cross and hurt in a subtle but terrible way....

Already making plans to go back. And try and lose more inhibitions!



christine1 -> RE: Playing: Private vs Public (8/6/2008 4:37:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: christine1

i won't play in public and i don't care to see others do it either.  my focus is on my relationship and that isn't for the consumption of others.


Again, public consumption isn't necessarily an issue during play.  But to expand on what you said, you posting here is public consumption - even if you never typed a thing about your personal relationship, the advice you give to others shines a focus on it, whether you realise it or not, and leaves it open for public consumption.
 
the.dark.

 
you have a point....while i do post on the boards it is what i choose to do and reveal.  what i choose not to do and reveal is physically play in front of others...it's just not my thing.  yes, consumption on a message board is what it is if i choose to post.  it's something i can live with.

edited to lessen font size.



Mercnbeth -> RE: Playing: Private vs Public (8/6/2008 4:39:42 PM)

quote:

What do you prefer? Playing/Sceneing at home or playing at a local BDSM dungeon/club?


both.  we have a small dungeon at home that we enjoy, as well as trips to local venues that are always extremely enjoyable.
 
quote:

Now that I've been to PA a few times, I've been considering the differences between Private and Public play.


you owe it to yourself to go to the Lair, Dragon's Gate, and Threshold's clubhouse in NoHo, if you have enjoyed PA.  they all have a different energy about them, and we have enjoyed ourselves immensely and met many great folks while attending.
 
this slave has also noticed that you are located in Torrance.  There is a South Bay Munch group that meets twice a month if you are interested in socializing~ [:D]
 
more info here:  South Bay Munch



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