RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

ladydominant -> RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish (11/18/2006 2:07:05 PM)

Mmmm this is an interesting thread & I thought since I have an opinion I should put My 2 cents worth in.
I haven't heard too much on this topic but was certainly aware of the forced 'slimming' if that is how one would refer to it?

I wish to empower My sub, directing/guiding him to be the best that he can be.
Certainly if My sub expressed an unhappiness about his body size then I would 'direct' & encourage him in a way to change what he finds he dislikes about his body shape.
I do not deem this to be topping from the bottom but instead respect that there is a need to ask My guidence.

Being in a 24/7 it is My desire that he reaches his full capacity in all aspects. W/we know he can lack self discipline. [;)]








Sirandlittle1 -> RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish (11/18/2006 2:11:10 PM)

I view every practice in bdsm as a continuum. >-------------------------------------< and we all sit on this, for every dirty little trick we indulge in.

Other people sit on a location outside my own personal comfort zone, but that's cool, they are not me, so it doesnt affect me.

To view the eater, as a victim, is a subjective opinion, which you are entitled to. Similarly, the feeder could be viewed as a predator.
Same could be said for the sadistic dom, using a non masochist to inflict the pain upon. They take it, to please the Dom.

But then there are some people, who are heavy players, who sit far right on that continuum. Maybe feeders, are along there too. Dont know, Never met a feeder myself.

The idea of having my Dom put me on a diet and exercise regime to increase my health,
that's here.>...........................................<a feeder Dom getting me to morbidly obese is here.
So im happy to sit along this particular continuum, up to a point i think is healthy, physically, doing me no harm.

But if my Dom is putting me on this programme, id rather he wasnt fat himself!
littleone






pixelslave -> RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish (11/24/2006 6:15:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FatDomDaddy
That got me thinking and I feel there must be an opposite to Feeding. I am not sure what that would be...Slimming? Thinning? Is there a name for this, a fetish to indulge as well? As a Dom who has battled his own weight demons and worked hard to reshape and drop weight, the thought of getting a bottom or sub to do the same, through reward and punishment appeals to me. Build up their self esteem and confidence and then enjoy a submisson that comes from strengh and choice and not weakness and need.


FatDomDaddy,
What you speak of is something I see not so much as a D/s issue as one of supporting the desires and goals of one's partner.  In the context of D/s and BDSM, it can certainly be synergistic when two people work together and use their Power Exchange as way to motivate and reach their mutual goals.  Having a partner who felt it important to stay in shape with me would in my opinion benefit the two of us.  We'd both presumably be around longer to share our lives together and be more active in the playroom and other parts of our lives together.  I see this as a win-win situation where both would benefit.  It's certainly something I'd look for in a relationship with a Mistress or any woman I'd want to be with, but only if it were something that she also wanted to participate in. 

For me, it would be a lifestyle that we shared together.  If that's what it is that you speak of, then I think you'd have a lot to offer to any woman that you approached who wanted to improve herself.  But in my personal opinion, it has to be something that she indeed wants for herself and not something that you alone would impose upon her.  To me, the latter could be a interpreted as a form of abuse.  That said, being active and sharing a healthy lifestyle will naturally cause her to experience the benefits you speak of.  Imposing it, would only seem to cause her to resent you, to feel unloved and not accepted for what is inside of her.  From what you've said, I don't think that is at all what you intend to achieve.  I don't believe you can ever force someone to submit to your will, nor can you force them to lose weight or improve their self-esteem.  You can only open the door and offer them the opportunity to walk through it with you and experience what it can be for them. [sm=tongue.gif]

- pixel



CandleInTheWind -> RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish (11/25/2006 9:41:25 PM)

Daddy,

I think i have a read on you...I actually had a daddyonce  that did encourage me to lose weight and tone up...i was rewarded significantly for each inch i lost well that was a long time ago...but I saw it very much as a postive thing i was a chubby girl...it was positve..when we had a date...we woild take waks and if we had a meal he alwasys choses a healthy and weigh conscious one for me....it was a very postive experience..it was the first tme in my life that i saw having somoeone mention me weight as a caring thing rather than a way of humiliating me

that is just my opinion  good luck to you if you are truly looking to have this type of relationship the lady your find will truly appreciate you..just rememebr that she didnt become heavy over night and she will nnot become tiny overy night either..

best of lucky
liittle red



Aine -> RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish (11/26/2006 7:10:56 AM)

There's a difference between being helpful and caring about someone's health and having a fetish about slimming someone down.

And if done in the wrong way, could -really- damage someone's self worth/esteem/psyche.



mp072004 -> RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish (11/26/2006 10:39:39 AM)

If you're attracted to the idea of incorporating systematic improvement of health and fitness into BDSM, you might review this website: http://misscandypt.blogspot.com/ Miss Candy is a professional dominant and personal trainer who does both at the same time. She markets it as "d/s personal training." The link is to her blog.

Monica



Aine -> RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish (11/27/2006 9:07:59 AM)

See.  Now THAT is a good way to go about it.

That woman is a -professional trainer-.  She knows what is dangerous and what isn't.  She's also versed in the vocal and mental side of training and knows what is and isn't dangerous to a person's psyche.

Now, whether she adheres to those things, that's a whole other can 'o worms and not for this thread.

The rest of us that aren't doctors, trainers, etc....other than just being supportive of our SO's wants/needs to get healthier, do we really have the kind of gall to think that we can take that to a level such as a fetish, and working it into the dynamic without proper guidance from professionals?

I would hope that anyone that even -entertained- this kind of idea would use the resources available to them in this kind of endeavor just like they would seek out someone to perhaps teach them how to properly weild a violet wand or some such instrument.



FelinePersuasion -> RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish (11/27/2006 10:54:47 PM)

hehe well, he bought it an he thought  we were going to share and I thought he was going to get his own, he was nice enough to let me have the whole thing since I was extreamly hungry.
quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

quote:

ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion

Shareing quizno's and feeding daddy my sandwhich was what made me decide to play with him. hehe







LOL the way i hear it is it wasnt YOUR sandwitch [:)]

Magik's slave



FelinePersuasion -> RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish (11/27/2006 11:12:14 PM)

Actually, not knowing about nutrition and stuff IS my problem, I'm not compelled by some need to over eat I don't eat much of anything at all most days, and  today for instance nothing all day then by 2:30 a cheesey potato because it was quick and what someone was fixing, yesterday nothing all day but at night some eggs and toast and bacon.

I used to eat hot pockets and nothing but microwave foods because I had no clue about how nutritionally lacking they were, nor how fattening they were.
quote:

ORIGINAL: jblack

I would argue that fat people put on weight not because they don't know about dieting or because they lack control but because they are driven by a particular psychological need.




FatDomDaddy -> RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish (12/27/2006 2:45:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aine

Damnit..

How did this one turn into yet another thread where people think we're bashing fat people?!





I did not realize this thread had found a new life. Last year when I posted it I was slammed with negative e-mails jumping on me for bashing fat people. Which is not at all what I wanted to do.

I do have to wonder though, in a lifestyle where "to each is own" and "tolerance" is championed (sometimes to the point of true selfishness) why there would be such a negative backlash against doing something that amounts to the opposite of taking a healthy woman or even an overweight and feeding he into the limits of morbid obesity.



Aine -> RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish (12/28/2006 9:32:19 AM)

Like I had stated previously....it's all in the intent.

There's a different between wanting to help one's signifigant other to be healthier and lose weight, if the SO is willing and wanting to do it....and a bonafied -fetish- about slimming people down, as it could have a -very- negative effect on that person.



SusanofO -> RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish (12/28/2006 9:42:02 AM)

As someone who once sufferred from Anorexia, I suggest you question pretty closely the "needs" of any submissive who tells you she is into this particular fetish. As a recovered anorexic, I can tell you if they don't want you to know that's what they suffer from, they will most likely just lie to you. Hell, if they are a bona-fide anorexic, you are probably the answer to their prayers.

I had Anorexia as a freshman and a sophomore in high school. I am 5'6" tall. My current weight fluctuates anywhere from 117-128 pounds (completely normal). Back then, I weighed 97 pounds (and my weight dropped to an all-time low of 93 pounds, eventually). I exercised constantly.  My calorie intake was 700 or less a day - and I was oh so proud if I got it under 500 or so! I would have made super-model Kate Moss jealous, as far as how thin I was.

Problem was, back then (1975) the medical profession had no name for the symptoms of Anorexia. And everyone kept telling me how wonderful I looked (I have a pretty small bone structure, so I didn't look "bony", just very slender). My waist measured 21 inches. How wonderful was that? I was so proud! But I was anemic and felt faint a lot. My periods became erratic. But - Oh well, that's the price we pay for beauty, right?

I remember being enraged at a neighbor because she took me swimming, and when I fainted on the diving board (because I hadn't eaten in over a day) she made me go to McDonalds. I was so mad at her I cursed her out, hehe.

To top it off, I had a mother who was very concerned with "looks", and had three daughters - who always acted like she was preening us all for some beauty pageant. Mom thought I looked wonderful, and bragged about my weight loss to all of her friends (she had once been a part-time run-way model, for a few years).

I know that, today, this is why my youngest sister weighs over 250 pounds (at 5'8"). My other sister just seems to be naturally thin, and sometimes to me she looks kind of anorexic, but actually just has a super-fast metabolism (boo-hiss).

Just something to contemplate. I know your heart is in the right place. Ask them why they want to do this - ask them also about their eating and exercise habits - and be prepared for any answer you get.

As far as just helping someone tone up and lose a few pounds, I say hey, great!

- Susan 



Aine -> RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish (12/28/2006 9:52:04 AM)

Definitely a perspective I was trying to point to, but having never been anorexic...couldn't put it to words quite so well...

There are so many ways for something like this to go  horribly, horribly wrong.



cjenny -> RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish (12/28/2006 10:25:42 AM)

This has been a really interesting thread for me to read. I lost 100lbs in one year & so far I have kept it off *okay add 10lbs back on*. But if I had a Dom that was concerned with my body being healthy it would be much easier for me. I do need the help tracking things like eating & taking all of my medication as needed.
I've not read many admitting that they've a need to turn their eating habits over to a Dom but for me that would be ideal.
It would be the best of many worlds, I would be forced to concentrate on keeping myself healthy. It is far too easy for me to go days without food & to forget to take my multitude of prescriptions when I am on my own with no one to answer to.
For me that is a natural part of my D/s. Knowing that my Dominant is watching & guiding me to be the best I can be. Some folks are well equipped to do this on their own, I am not. Of course I would not want to be a size 2 nor could I be a size 2 & be healthy. It feels to me, as if the OP is bringing up basic care that some [not all] need.
I just know I perform better with boundaries and rules to follow, that includes meals for me.

and that is my .02's.



Aine -> RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish (12/28/2006 10:34:29 AM)

Unfortunately, not everyone will see it as a positive thing.



majidah -> RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish (12/28/2006 10:42:28 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

I've never heard of this, however having a girl loose weight to an acceptable (health wise) and building her selfesteme is simply just one oif the things I would do with a kajira in my collar as part of taking care of my property. I may (if she has earned it) allow her to assist me in what even health or fitness/rehab program I may be doing.



Hiii Iron Bear!!!!!



SusanofO -> RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish (12/28/2006 11:34:42 AM)

The fashion industry powers-that-be in Milan, Italy, recently passed some kind of edict that fashion runway models who are 5'8" tall cannot weigh less then 122 pounds. Big of them - that is still almost 20 pounds underweight for someone that height. 

This kinda-sorta change of heart on the part of the fashion industry in Milan was after some brou-ha-ha about a month ago where some model fainted on a fashion runway and died in an ambulance on the way to a hospital as a result of not eating. In Paris and NYC, the fashion industry still doesn't care if models and hopeful models die of Anorexia, or other eating disorders, or if they are just are too thin.

So - my opinion only - I would ask any girl you want to do this with if she has a history of Anorexia - or any eating disorder (like Bulimia, too, for example. Bulimia seemed convenient to me, but I just could never get myself to make myself throw up. I was too much of a coward, I guess. I had a friend who did it, though - who volunteered to teach me how). Your submissive could lie, but at least your conscience will be clear.

If she was overly-zealous about any "program" you set up, I'd inquire on a daily basis how she is handling your program for her, and question  her closely to see if she is going "overboard." Because a die-hard anorexic will take your healthy program and good intentions, and take them one, or 5, or 10 steps further. This might look like "cooperation", but it's her disease talking, actually.

If you tell her she needs to do an hour a day on the StairMaster, she will do two and a half, plus run a mile. If you restrict her to 1,000 calories a day, she will be taking in just 750 "just to make you proud", etc. 

And even "recovered" anorexics can have a relapse. I did once (about 20 years ago). Not ever since then, though. In fact right now, I'd like to lose 5-10 pounds. 
But it can happen.

In fact, relapses happen to supposedly recovered anorexics more than occasionally.



FatDomDaddy -> RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish (12/28/2006 3:02:06 PM)

 
No....I do not want an anorexic or really even delve into a fetish. I just wanted to find a submissive who wanted her gift and service to inspire both of us. 

But that does ad another twist. Anorexia and Bulimia are frightening diseases, especially when the two are combined. There seems to be a great deal of empathy for women who suffer with them. And most of all there is no Skinny Beautiful Woman (SBW) movement to justify and claim 5' 5'' 81lbs women are healthy and happy.

Now I am probably going to catch all amounts of flack for that last paragraph and so be it. I get the fact that women who suffer with Anorexia are sympathized with while women who suffer with super morbid obesity are ridiculed. I know all too well that the world is not made for people with severe overweight issues but the fact remains that the 5' 5'' 310lb woman has a disease just like that 5' 5" 81lbs one. And one other thing.... Safe Sane and Consensual. Ya need all three people!
And feeding someone past the 300lb, 400lb, 500 and above weight level is neither safe or sane!

This forum post, was started a year ago after seeing a story on one one of the health channels, follow by a forum on feeders on another site. So logically, I though  through the "for every action there is an equal reaction" approach and thought that if there were men and women who fell in to the feeder/feede column, then there must be an opposite to that. BTW....there are women feeders too and if you do not think that there are women who get off on fatmen, just troll out an ad on C's list. You'll find some....not as many as them but they are there. Yahoo has several sites as well.  So I decided to see if perhaps I could find my ideal here.

I caught all kinds of crap by some of BBW mafia types last year when I posted this as if it was somehow personally aimed at mocking them. Curiously, the feeder types stayed for the most part silent.



SusanofO -> RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish (12/28/2006 4:17:20 PM)

FatDomDaddy: I hope you were not offended. You sound like a sane person, just thought it was somethng to consider, that's all. If an anorexic finds you, you could be her dream come true, quite possibly. Just to keep in mind - and I know you said you will. Good luck.

- Susan



FatDomDaddy -> RE: Anti Feeder looking for an opposite of that fetish (12/28/2006 8:06:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

FatDomDaddy: I hope you were not offended.


Oh, not at all Susan.



Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.0625