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RE: in it for what they can get out of it and out of it... - 8/9/2008 11:41:44 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Then I assume we won't have to listen to you whine in bitch in every fucking thread about poor you anymore because your life doesn't fucking suck?  Or that the next guy left you?  Or any of the other attention grabbing bullshit you pull about every two weeks?

I see the real you at last.......and one last question as i swear i am not taking your poisonous bait ever again: when you say WE is that a Royal Prerogative?
Again........this thread is about COLLARS ok.


_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 181
RE: in it for what they can get out of it and out of it... - 8/9/2008 11:48:46 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Or maybe he is frustrated by  what appears to be a pattern of behavior and a cry for help that doesn't seem to  listen to sound advice?....... just a thought

Jeff

Jeffff: with all due respect, if for one single solitary moment i had ever thought to ask SimplyMichael for advice i would have done so by private email. Those i have been in discussion with by private email (about the physical, symbolic, metaphysical and personal nature of a collar) have answered with a clarity of expression, unlimited compassion and strength of character. There are those who have laid for foundations within the Community regarding protocol and collaring who are notable absent from this thread but they have sent profound and clear responses to me by mail.They know who they are and i am very proud to call them my friends.
It still does not mean that i felt there was little value in opening up the topic for public debate.



_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 182
RE: in it for what they can get out of it and out of it... - 8/9/2008 11:51:24 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: masterforRT

The whole BDSM concept has been stood on it's side. We have 'masters' pming Dommes begging to be dominated, heterosexual BDSMers are becoming the minority, collars are thrown about like candy, 'under consideration' has become an overused phrase, subs  make so many demands and have so many requirements that you begin to wonder is they're subs at all, 'topping from the bottom' has become more the rule then the exception, subs (and Dom(mes))  complain that they can't find 'the one' then admit in the next sentence that they routinely delete most messages without reading them, and people are just too cliquish, catty and judgmental!





OK it is one long sentence so I let it all there. I deleted the part where you see it as a."community" in need of a rudder. I have Friends of all sorts, in all kinds of places. Are  they ALL part of different cliques? If a submissive, slave. bottom states what she. or he wants that does not appeal to you? OK thats you, not EVERYONE.
The fact that we do what we do, does not make us special.  As a loose group we are no different form any other loose group. Because something does not appeal to you, does not make it wrong

(in reply to masterforRT)
Profile   Post #: 183
RE: in it for what they can get out of it and out of it... - 8/9/2008 11:53:53 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Prinny?... with the same respect returned, if you post on a message board, you can't control the responses..:)

Jeff

(in reply to Prinsexx)
Profile   Post #: 184
RE: in it for what they can get out of it and out of it... - 8/9/2008 11:54:25 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

Now, go and re-read the last sentance in the first paragraph-the one about being too cliquish, catty and judgemental. I think that you and her BOTH need to re-read it!


heh, Jefff, I think he wants to dominate both of us!


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to masterforRT)
Profile   Post #: 185
RE: in it for what they can get out of it and out of it... - 8/9/2008 11:58:09 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		ummmmmmmmmmmm.. I don't switch... should I put that in my profile?

Jeffwey

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 186
RE: in it for what they can get out of it and out of it... - 8/9/2008 12:00:13 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

ummmmmmmmmmmm.. I don't switch... should I put that in my profile?


Yes.  But only with the proper use of capitals.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 187
RE: in it for what they can get out of it and out of it... - 8/9/2008 12:02:52 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Thank you .."little one"...:)

My point is , we don't need saving, the "LifeStyle" doesn't need saving. People just need to live and be who they are

Jeff


Note to ModXI, this was an honest tangent. I now return the thread to it's previously scheduled topic

< Message edited by Jeffff -- 8/9/2008 12:05:01 PM >

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 188
RE: in it for what they can get out of it and out of it... - 8/9/2008 12:04:47 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

My point is , we don't need saving, the "LifeStyle" doesn't need saving. People just need to live and be who they are


Too simple.  Makes too much sense.  In order to be part of a special lifestyle, it needs to be complicated. 


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 189
RE: in it for what they can get out of it and out of it... - 8/9/2008 12:05:03 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: masterforRT

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

subs make so many demands and have so many requirements that you begin to wonder is they're subs at all


Yes, I agree that it's awful and a bane on the lifestyle when subs have expectations and requirements.    I long for the days of the doormat subs.



Your post is not only condesending, but it does nothing to change the problem I write about!  I don 't WANT a doormat for a sub! That said, I was talking about subs that write novels (in capitals) that are so specific on what THEY want that you have to wonder if they believe that finding a master is like buying accessories for their new car.




Ok so it’s come down to a debate. On one side of the house we have: masterforRT ~Look in the mirror and ask yourself: "Do I do any of these?" BE HONEST!  If you do, then you're part of the PROBLEM-and  changing your behavior is a big part of the solution. Otherwise, BDSM will continue to drift....like a ship off course with no one manning the rudder...~ And on the other side of the house we have Jeffff: ~There is no course, there is no ship, there is no rudder. there are just people~   I think it is a debate and not an irreconcilable issue. Again I can only speak from experience….(but don’t let Michael know ok)……but within the dynamics of a personal relationship which includes an element of bdsm….then it really does help me, as an s-type….who willingly transfers authority….to be able to trust that the s-type I am transferring it to is trustworthy and has integrity and yes has a certain code of behaviours, or protocols which I can lay my faith in. If it were not so I may as well stand outside of marks and spebcer and ask any passing stranger if they would like to collar me, but they might you know, just take me a walk around the block to the nearest hospital and put the leash on a bottled down chair in A & E (the ER (room?) It is my experience that anyone and everyone wants ‘in’…….bdsm is the latest theme for party goers around here and has transplanted sixties nights, or Abba themes. Now I understand that is one thing I shouldn’t do: ie I shouldn’t be asking to be collared. If I look to what my actions were they were within what I understood to be protocol. That there is a certain free-range within a protocol well I thank gosd because it means I can still live my life with excitement and experience each moment as a wonderful phenomena. Thus far it hasn’t killed my courage although what happened a while back certainly dented my trust. But there is this debate inherent between those who adhere to strict codes of conduct and those who just wing it.


_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to masterforRT)
Profile   Post #: 190
RE: in it for what they can get out of it and out of it... - 8/9/2008 12:14:12 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

Now I understand that is one thing I shouldn’t do: ie I shouldn’t be asking to be collared. If I look to what my actions were they were within what I understood to be protocol. That there is a certain free-range within a protocol well I thank gosd because it means I can still live my life with excitement and experience each moment as a wonderful phenomena.


No.  There is nothing wrong with asking to be collared.  I think it's better to allow a relationship to develop and see where it goes without rushing into a collar.  It takes years to know and understand a person and to witness his (or her) consistent behavior over time.  These are things that are important to me.  Much more important than a collar.  I focus on the other person, and building the relationship, not on the symbol of the relationship.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Prinsexx)
Profile   Post #: 191
RE: in it for what they can get out of it and out of it... - 8/9/2008 12:53:01 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

Now I understand that is one thing I shouldn’t do: ie I shouldn’t be asking to be collared. If I look to what my actions were they were within what I understood to be protocol. That there is a certain free-range within a protocol well I thank gosd because it means I can still live my life with excitement and experience each moment as a wonderful phenomena.


No.  There is nothing wrong with asking to be collared.  I think it's better to allow a relationship to develop and see where it goes without rushing into a collar.  It takes years to know and understand a person and to witness his (or her) consistent behavior over time.  These are things that are important to me.  Much more important than a collar.  I focus on the other person, and building the relationship, not on the symbol of the relationship.


Then i suppose if i look back on my opening set of questions and jump straight to this, your answer, then they would have done well to sit as question and answer right next to each other. But then something marks the beginning (and the end) of a dynamic does it not? And it helps to have something symbolise the beginning and the end of a dynamic? Not only for the two participants but also for others?


_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 192
RE: in it for what they can get out of it and out of it... - 8/9/2008 12:55:32 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I don't need a symbol of a relationship.  I don't work a relationship in order to gain a symbol.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Prinsexx)
Profile   Post #: 193
RE: in it for what they can get out of it and out of it... - 8/9/2008 12:58:35 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I don't need a symbol of a relationship.  I don't work a relationship in order to gain a symbol.


NO , you need some training. where is the Old Guard when you need em

Jeffwey

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 194
RE: in it for what they can get out of it and out of it... - 8/9/2008 1:00:32 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: masterforRT
heterosexual BDSMers are becoming the minority,

I agree.  I would rather have lived in the days of the Old Guard, when the only practitioners of BDSM were straight.  Now half the hot chicks on this site have the words "NO MEN" prominently in their profile.  Uppity cunts.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to masterforRT)
Profile   Post #: 195
RE: in it for what they can get out of it and out of it... - 8/9/2008 1:03:55 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Clearly they are not real and therefore no attention should be payed them


Jeffwey

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 196
RE: in it for what they can get out of it and out of it... - 8/9/2008 1:15:48 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		This whole thread is weird.  Telling the entire world about a relationship problem demonstrates zero respect for the OTHER person in the relationship.  Why get intimate with someone you don't respect? 

I had a Bad Thing(tm) happen between me and a woman recently, and I've told a couple friends about it, but I'll never *post* about what happened.  If I let someone into my life, she can take to the bank that her dirty laundry won't get plastered all over the internet.  I really think people are arguing about the wrong things here.  How about demonstrating commitment to others and to yourself even if someone fucks you over?  I promise it pays off.  I've got more offers to meet than I can schedule, because women know I'm SAFE.

If everyone knows person X is a loose cannon, person X will tend to attract people who can't do any better than that.  Reputation matters a lot, and it's never to late to cultivate a better one.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 197
RE: in it for what they can get out of it and out of it... - 8/9/2008 2:16:42 PM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline
quote:

I've got more offers to meet than I can schedule, because women know I'm SAFE.


You've mentioned this a couple times before in your posts.   Sometimes its relevant, other times, like now, I'm not sure.


_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin


(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 198
RE: in it for what they can get out of it and out of it... - 8/9/2008 2:39:28 PM   
DavidS8ist


Posts: 97
Joined: 7/8/2004
From: NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

I agree.  I would rather have lived in the days of the Old Guard, when the only practitioners of BDSM were straight.  Now half the hot chicks on this site have the words "NO MEN" prominently in their profile.  Uppity cunts.


Yeah.  Ummm...about that...

The "Old Guard," such as it was, was mostly comprised of ex-military gay men who served in WWII.

Yeah.

And the thing is, they didn't call themselves "Old Guard."

Ya might wanna check out Vi Johnson's autobiography, even tho' she's a bit young to have been involved in anything but the last days of what is now called "Old Guard".

Unless, of course, what you posted was in jest and I misinterpreted it.

D., old enough to have named "dirt"
" Fifteen hundred years ago, everybody *knew* that the earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody *knew* that the earth was flat. And 15 minutes ago, you *knew* that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll *know* tomorrow."
- Lowell Cunningham and Ed Solomon, "Men in Black"

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 199
RE: in it for what they can get out of it and out of it... - 8/9/2008 2:42:12 PM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline 		I think RedMagic was being ironic.  At least I hope he was. lol

_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin


(in reply to DavidS8ist)
Profile   Post #: 200
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