Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

What's With the Attitude?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> What's With the Attitude? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
What's With the Attitude? - 8/6/2008 10:37:23 AM   
StormsSlave


Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
Status: offline
If this subject has been covered, my apologies. I'm on my PDA and the search function doesn't work so well.

The cornerstone of our relationship is honesty in all things. That was made clear to me from the beginning. No faking orgasms, hiding emotions, or pretending of any kind. I don't have to share every thought, but I do have to be straight in all things.

This extends to emotions. I read a lot on this board how subly types obey without question, never have a bad attitude, and always do what they are told with the best of moods.

I am honest enough to admit that my world is not so perfect, and neither am I. My Lord requires me to do when he means do, but he does not necessarily require a good attitude. This does not mean that I am allowed to be bratty or childish (which is not my way.) It does mean that I don't have to be smiling and sunshiney when I feel like crying.

An example is cooking. Ordinarily, My Lord does all the cooking, but we are in a situation where that is not feasible or safe for him. Frankly, after a hard days work, the thought of cooking for him is the last thing I want to do. I do as needs to be done, cause it's the right thing for us, but I admit to not dancing a jig because I have the right and privelage of cooking after spending my day becoming exhausted.

My Lord prefers it this way, with the honest expression of my feelings instead of hiding my emotions and serving him falsely. I wonder if we are unique in this. I have been in relationships where the expression of honest emotion was smothered and repressed, and I've had my loyalty and my sanity questioned because I didn't feel the way about something that somebody thought I should feel. I had learned to hide my feelings and pretend to feel/think a certain way to avoid conflict. It has taken time for me to let go of the past, but if My Lord says it is true, it is true, and the mere feeling of a feeling does not offend him, nor does the expression of said feeling as long as I remain adult about it.

So, where do you sit? Are you always the fantasy french maid, who never feels angry, frustrated, tired, aggravated, etc? Are you allowed to express when you don't like what you are told to do, or are you required to stuff your feelings and pretend to be happy about it?

For the domly types, would you prefer honest emotion, or do you expect cheerful acquiescence evey time? If that's the case, do you believe your sub truly enjoys all that you ask of her/him?

Just curious to see where folks stand.

_____________________________

Congratulate me...I'm a missus!!

--nobody's resident anything.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: What's With the Attitude? - 8/6/2008 10:45:17 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
If I want something, I want it.  I don't want a bunch of questions, unless they are a "how" clarifications.  Just fucking follow directions.  At the same time, I am not going to expect to be waited on when he is just as tired as I am.  If he is sick, I will be picking up the slack.  That's just life.  I do not expect getting through the day to be all perky sunshine, sometimes it's just necessary drudgery. 

I don't think "service with a smile" is always necessary, but I do expect a level of grace and courtesy.  I accept and respect that a person can be having a bad day, but that doesn't excuse rudeness or meanness. 

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to StormsSlave)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: What's With the Attitude? - 8/6/2008 10:46:22 AM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline
If you can navigate your way there try the expected thread in ask a sub/slave ... covering a similar topic

I often feel emotions other than sunny delight. I often tell Sir about them. However I do this in an appropriate time and manner. Our relationship is based on Him, His desires, His wishes, His comfort, His contentment being put in front of mine. Sure my wishes, desires, comforts, and contentment are a priority .. but not the first one

I am new to total power exchnage ... new to being a fully Owned slave ... and so I sometimes need reminding of this.

I do my very best to always answer the phone to Sir with a bright hello, even if I have been deeply upset about something. I do my very best always to ask Him how He is and how He is doing before we discuss me. I am in an LDR ... I dont have to do things for Him 24/7 in the same way most other slaves do. I still have to *be* His slave 24/7 though. I still have to be doing all the things HE expects of me .. and sometimes I just want to scream and stamp my feet and not comply because the very last thing I want to do 10,000 miles from my Owner where He can't possibly see, or care or know is go out in the rain wearing a short skirt and high heels to buy more frigging carrots instead of ordering a pizza.

He knows all that ... He gets all that ... and He loves me because I continue to answer the phone sounding full of the joys of spring when I am piss wet through, aching feet, exhausted .... and still pathetically happy to hear from Him

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





(in reply to StormsSlave)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: What's With the Attitude? - 8/6/2008 10:49:09 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

So, where do you sit? Are you always the fantasy french maid, who never feels angry, frustrated, tired, aggravated, etc? Are you allowed to express when you don't like what you are told to do, or are you required to stuff your feelings and pretend to be happy about it?


this slave has never felt angry, frustrated, tired or aggravated WITH HIM.  it doesn't mean she is devoid of those emotions when it comes to certain others, or life situations that arise.
 
she is encouraged to express her emotions of anger, frustration, aggravation, etc. with others or towards life situations to Him, but to date, it has never been about Him.
 
this slave hasn't been told to do anything she would have to "stuff" feelings about, or "pretend" to be happy about.  It makes her feel good, very happy and fulfilled to carry out His wishes.
 
she isn't a "fantasy french maid", but a real life servant, who enjoys and is fulfilled through service to Master.  it helps a great deal that this slave doesn't have to serve ankle-biters or any other "Master", such as a boss or career, and can focus all of her attention on being pleasing to Him.

(in reply to StormsSlave)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: What's With the Attitude? - 8/6/2008 10:58:26 AM   
StormsSlave


Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
Status: offline
The thread in the subs forum is what inspired todays thoughts on the matter, but I have had this thought before when reading here. It's not so much a question of doing as one is told, which is a given, I think, but how the emotions are handled on both sides of the whip.

I read these posts from slaves/subs who give me the impression that the joy of their existence is to be up at three in the morning washing the car when they have to be to work at seven. I'm thinking, sure, I'd get up, I'd wash the car, but I would NOT be happy about it, nor would I pretend to be. I'm never expected to hide my true feelings, and would be in trouble if I did.

I wonder how emotions are handled by others, but maybe I haven't expressed it so well.



_____________________________

Congratulate me...I'm a missus!!

--nobody's resident anything.

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: What's With the Attitude? - 8/6/2008 11:02:21 AM   
sfdrew


Posts: 124
Joined: 6/15/2007
Status: offline
Mistress has often asked me if I was hiding feelings towards here on this topic or if I thought I might get tired of it one day. I might not like taking out the trash or doing the dishes but I would still rather do the dishes for the thousandth time in a row than to make Her feel like She had to wash one dish.

I think it is ok to do things in a bad mood but it is not ok to complain about chores or orders or responsibilities. I might be frustrated with the task at hand but never with Her and I think that is the important distinction. Everybody has a bad day but we do what we do because it fulfills us in ways nothing else can.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: What's With the Attitude? - 8/6/2008 11:15:49 AM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: StormsSlave

So, where do you sit? Are you always the fantasy french maid, who never feels angry, frustrated, tired, aggravated, etc? Are you allowed to express when you don't like what you are told to do, or are you required to stuff your feelings and pretend to be happy about it?


lol... I guess I lean more towards the fantasy french maid.  Mind you, it isn't because I don't ever feel angry, frustrated, tired, aggravated, etc.  It just that Firm rarely is the instigator of those feelings and I certainly don't take out on him what he's not responsible for. 

That's not to say that he never sees those things in me or that I'm not allowed to express strong negative emotions.  It's just rare.  I'm not easily ruffled to begin with and I dislike melodramatic behavior.  When I am feeling passionate about something, it doesn't take much for me to vent and Firm knows it has nothing to do with him.  lol... I'm pretty sure he knows I would clue him in if it did. 

If it just happens to be something that is in response to Firm, I do have a responsibility to be reasonable in my expression, but I've never been told that I have to pretend to be happy about something when I'm not.  To be honest, it just doesn't come up in our relationship much, at all.  I like a nice, serene home, and so does he.

(in reply to StormsSlave)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: What's With the Attitude? - 8/6/2008 11:16:07 AM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline
~FR~
My best friend married her Dom in July and i have witnessed their dynamic since its beginning. Knowing her as i do over the past 20 years i know that service with a smile is not her forte. Her Dom is demanding of her time and attention as is how he wants his dynamic to be. She serves him without fail...but has never one time done so without an honest expression of frustration if that is how she feels. The difference between a non live in and a true 24/7 live in situation would be that it would be easier to hide any frustration as you know that you can be home in a few minutes or hours and that the demands placed can be avoided as you wish. While this is not honest it is reality.
In the "real" world we have feelings and express them. It amazes me that simply because a person is in a D/s dynamic that anyone would think that common sense and real life issues do not somehow permeate that dynamic. We are people and not characters in some pulp fiction story.
Its important as mercnbeth mentioned to be sure to focus your frustration toward the appropriate person/situation....not to displace personal frustration onto an unsuspecting dominant...they tend to not appreciate that so much.

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: What's With the Attitude? - 8/6/2008 11:31:56 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: StormsSlave

I read these posts from slaves/subs who give me the impression that the joy of their existence is to be up at three in the morning washing the car when they have to be to work at seven. I'm thinking, sure, I'd get up, I'd wash the car, but I would NOT be happy about it, nor would I pretend to be. I'm never expected to hide my true feelings, and would be in trouble if I did.



I missed the post over there about a slave washing his car at 3am.  But I don't think people are giving an "impression."  Nor do I think it's an attitude.  Sure, it was hard for me to be awakened in the middle of the night to give him an erotic, orgasm dance with everything but the kitchen sink stuffed inside of me because it amused him.  But damn if that look on his face didn't make it all worth it for me.  And sure I had to get up to go to work in the morning.  So I was really tired all day.  I was tired and peaceful and I would go to bed early the next night.

Some people are affected differently than others.  I don't think anyone is trying to one-up anyone.  I think people are just expressing how it is for them.  Either way is OK...isn't it?  If it works in someone's relationship to be whoever they are and to express themselves a certain way, then all is well...right? 

For those (including me) who are saying it's perfectly OK for them (and me) to be required to do whatever for their Masters even if tired, I see it as a way of explaining a mindset, so people understand it.  Just as you might say it's perfectly NOT OK for you, others say it is OK for them.  Neither is better, unless you're in a situation that is unhealthy for you.  I don't see this as a competition, nor as an attitude issue. 

For what it's worth, I would feel frustrated toward him from time to time.  I also expressed it in a way that worked for us, and he took my feelings into consideration in the future.  Taking into consideration didn't always mean things would change, however, but it meant he knew my feelings about it.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to StormsSlave)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: What's With the Attitude? - 8/6/2008 11:32:45 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: StormsSlave


For the domly types, would you prefer honest emotion, or do you expect cheerful acquiescence evey time? If that's the case, do you believe your sub truly enjoys all that you ask of her/him?

Just curious to see where folks stand.


My opinion about wanting to know how fox feels about an order or task varies according to the day I've had.

If I've had a great day, I want him to be honest and I can offer some emotional or physical support even for tasks that are unpleasant -- let's take cooking as the OP did where I could set the table or hang out and chat to him while he cooked.

But if I've had a trying then any negative attitude is honestly going to set me off in a bad way. The freaking world is not submissive to me and when it gives me an especially hard the last thing I need is even a hint that he isn't pleased or at least neutral about any order or task. I have lots of things I have to do and I don't waste my time and energy bitching about them to another person... he can do the same around me.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to StormsSlave)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: What's With the Attitude? - 8/6/2008 11:45:37 AM   
StormsSlave


Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
Status: offline
My Lord is an asshole. He'll tell you his own self. I admit that there are times when my emotions run from unhappy to severely pissed off. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen. He not only accepts it, he expects it.

Rudeness is not acceptable, except in play, but anger is allowed, even when directed at him.

_____________________________

Congratulate me...I'm a missus!!

--nobody's resident anything.

(in reply to persephonee)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: What's With the Attitude? - 8/6/2008 12:04:14 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
When I was in service earning my crop, I learned about serving with grace. I think perspective is important here. I'm a dominant person by nature, so the whole idea of living in service to earn my place in the household rankled a bit, frankly. At first, I did what needed to be done grudgingly, and my attitude was less than stellar (I'll admit that straight out). I was constantly given things to read, write, and tasks to perform that pushed me, and I was frustrated at trying to figure out how to "do this right" so that my trainers would leave me alone. It took me something close to a year or so, I think, and in the middle of one of the special tasks, reading and writing an essay about information in a book that I'd covered over and over through the past decade or so, I finally had this amazing revelation. See, I also trained as a priest on a rather intense spiritual path. The book that I was reading dealt with meditation and daily work, and making each moment be a prayer, and I remembered that, during my training, I had a lot of dull, repetitive work -- but I rarely had a poor attitude because I had a goal, and I could see the point in what I was doing as a step to my goal. I realized that what my trainers were looking for was an understanding of how the day-to-day could carry someone to a profound understanding of their "serving self" -- that part of them that gives graciously. I learned how to become the "supple reed" that bent before the wind, and I learned grace. Without them putting the connection before me on a regular basis, though, I might have just quit and failed to become fully the person I was capable of being.

As a dominant, I don't expect a servant to reach grace right away. I expect that some will find it easier than others, and some won't try at all. Seeing the reality of their emotions helps me to gauge where they are in the process... HOWEVER, if their attitude is less than gracious, I have no compunctions about reminding them that I -expect- grace, dignity, and courtesy (including a pleasant disposition) over the long haul... and I have no compunctions about assigning additional tasks, reading, etc., to help them to find that within themselves, just as my trainers did with me.

Calla Firestorm


_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to StormsSlave)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: What's With the Attitude? - 8/6/2008 12:05:02 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

So, where do you sit? Are you always the fantasy french maid, who never feels angry, frustrated, tired, aggravated, etc? Are you allowed to express when you don't like what you are told to do, or are you required to stuff your feelings and pretend to be happy about it?

For the domly types, would you prefer honest emotion, or do you expect cheerful acquiescence evey time? If that's the case, do you believe your sub truly enjoys all that you ask of her/him?


Going in with a conscience effort to keep it short, but I don't know if it's possible. It is too complex and complicated an issue; but here goes...

You should 'act' as little as possible within your relationship. Acting requires effort and it is work, another thing we both try to avoid in our personal life. beth is not only allowed, but she is required to disclose her feelings and mental/physical heath status for my consideration. I still hold the ability to ignore them for my personal pleasure and/or benefit; however, that gets back to how we set our relationship up in the first place. she knew going in that I have a low threshold of tolerance for infirmities; but I have understanding and can deal with them. That's not the case with 'attitude' where she knows I have zero tolerance rule in place.

Yes, I do want her to "truly enjoy" all that I ask of her. However, I don't think that enjoyment is pointed to the direction you are going. The best way I can answer this is by providing a non 'lifestyle' example. Suppose you met a person who became your partner and was a huge baseball fan, specifically for one team in particular. You, on the other hand, didn't know a bunt from a balk; and have no interest in doing so. Your partner's interest isn't going to change. It's been a long time interest, a source of enjoyment. What do you do?

Do you assimilate some knowledge and sit there and enjoy the game, and put up with the silly 'fan-aticism'; or do you walk away every time baseball appears on the screen with a gesture of disgust and a "tell me when its over!" comment? 

How you answer that question within the context of any situation determines my attitude to any specific activity and/or situation.

That doesn't mean that sitting through something, or doing something you don't enjoy shouldn't be considered by your partner. If you've been honest, your partner should know and understand your perspective. Working it out may require a degree of disassociation from the act/activity. Going back to the example, remove the baseball game from the equation and consider that regardless of what you are watching you are doing it together. You get to see the joy, and sorrow, of your partner's reaction to what's happening with the team. You share the experience. Whatever the experience is, the fact that your partner is enjoying it, having fun, or getting some satisfaction should be a consideration for you and influence your attitude.

To try to be clearer, I'll point to looking at the other side. Conveying your disgust, having an attitude, translates differently for different people. I tend to avoid potential conflict and attitude in my personal life. Having to deal with so much of it in business; I want partners who have fun and who exude the same enthusiasm for a shared experience as I do. I'm too old, and time provided too short to waste it arguing, fighting, or forcing my definition of 'fun' on anyone.

What do you do? Everyone will have their coping method, but what we do is put our relationship at a higher level than either individual. We represent that both of us serve (sub or slave - you pick!) that entity. With that perspective you should be able to do anything with a smile and have fun doing it. You do need confidence to accomplish this. Confidence in yourself, your partner, and trusting each other without reservation. If it's a life or lifestyle, you have to be sure that you are working from a foundation within your relationship that won't be traumatized or destroyed. It helps to go in thinking it may even be enhanced. Most times it is, because you've shared something that your partner knows wasn't something you would do without their influence.

I love giving gifts, almost as much as I hate the idea of giving them at Christmas. I have a 'attitude' about it. Why? Simple - I perceive a Christmas gift as a gift given because I 'have to' instead of giving it because I 'want to'. There are a lot of things you do in life because you 'have to'. The 'have to' defines attitude. When I sense 'have to' in my personal life I tend to deliberately avoid the situation or potential situation that caused it. I know I'm fortunate that I don't 'have to' perceive it anymore since I've been with beth.

I don't think 'attitude' is limited to one side of the flogger. The relationship holds priority over both. You can 'give' while being in the process of 'getting'.

I knew it wasn't going to be short! As a succinct summation I'd offer this. YES - I want my slave to "truly enjoy" doing everything I tell her to do. Not because she does or doesn't enjoy the act, activity, sensation, experience; I want her to truly enjoy it, without 'attitude', because her mind processes what she is doing outside her personal desires, likes and dislikes and instead processes it as an act, activity, sensation, or experience being shared, and enjoyed, with ME. I represent the same requirement for myself regarding her. If, by my standands, we can't reconcile doing whatever without 'attitude'; it won't be done. 

EDITED TO ADD: Damn - just noticed that while giving my long winded answer beth's already chimmed in. Glad to see she didn't give an 'attitude'!

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 8/6/2008 12:08:11 PM >

(in reply to StormsSlave)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: What's With the Attitude? - 8/6/2008 12:10:26 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: StormsSlave

So, where do you sit? Are you always the fantasy french maid, who never feels angry, frustrated, tired, aggravated, etc? Are you allowed to express when you don't like what you are told to do, or are you required to stuff your feelings and pretend to be happy about it?


it's not that i'm allowed and/or required to express myself - i merely do it anyway.

if i was required to bottle my feelings and pretend or be His fantasy "happy" french maid, Daddy and i wouldn't have the type of relationship we have for 2yrs now.


_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to StormsSlave)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: What's With the Attitude? - 8/6/2008 1:01:42 PM   
StormsSlave


Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
Status: offline
I didn't mean to make it sound like a one-upmanship or any kind of competition. I am sorry if it came across that way. I honestly am curious, with the intent of learning, growing, being better, and possibly clarifying my own thoughts. (The example of the car ashing was an extreme exaggeration of an experience we had.)

My Lord and I do what works for us, and others what works for them. I'm curious to know what works for others, and why.

Tammyjo--I agree that it's a day to day thing. If he's having a bad day, my spirit is meek and willing more often than not. I am much more likely to be unhappy on a day I know he is feeling well or wasn't stressful. I also know that my timing could be better sometimes, and this is where my submission had to be learned. Sometimes, I need to shut the fuck up and do as I'm told.

Callafirestorm-you made me feel a little ashamed, I admit. I have to work at submission sometimes. I try to remember that he who would be first, will be last.

Merc-what a massive shift in perspective you put here. Your way of explaining things has really got me thinking. We have an expression...worship the relationship. It's probable that the times I am pissy are the times that I lose sight of that. My Lord is good t bringing me back to center.

_____________________________

Congratulate me...I'm a missus!!

--nobody's resident anything.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: What's With the Attitude? - 8/6/2008 1:23:10 PM   
TwoNYCDommes


Posts: 237
Joined: 1/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: StormsSlave
For the domly types, would you prefer honest emotion, or do you expect cheerful acquiescence evey time? If that's the case, do you believe your sub truly enjoys all that you ask of her/him?


I far and away prefer honest emotion (though extended whining or complaining is unacceptable), and I do not want my subs to enjoy everything I ask of them.

(in reply to StormsSlave)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: What's With the Attitude? - 8/6/2008 2:00:45 PM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline
 
Geeez, it was just that one time I put Nair in the shampoo bottle, okay.

Call it attitude, call it a bad day, call it sometimes assholes get what they give.

But I was smiling as I served it ya know, like the good little submissive I am.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to StormsSlave)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: What's With the Attitude? - 8/6/2008 2:08:43 PM   
Sabella


Posts: 265
Joined: 7/26/2005
Status: offline
quote:

So, where do you sit? Are you always the fantasy french maid, who never feels angry, frustrated, tired, aggravated, etc? Are you allowed to express when you don't like what you are told to do, or are you required to stuff your feelings and pretend to be happy about it?
In the past when I was overly angry, frustrated & aggravated and I let it show the only thing it did was escalate my negative feelings. It didn't improve the situation, didn't get the job done any faster, nothing good came out of it. A lot more BAD was apt to come of it though - feelings of resentment, doing a job hurridly or haphazardly, unnecessary stress & drama - none of it good.

Realizing this I made a conscious effort to work on my conscious efforts to keep my mindset right where it belongs. Now if something is going on that is above & beyond extreme I have no problem and he expects me to say something about it. But in general probably 90+ % of my "I'm too tired, not feeling well, it's too hot, too cold, that's boring whatevah" were mostly cases of "I don't wanna".

This is life, we all get the "I don't wanna" from time to time. If it's something that really needs to be done, keeping a pleasant face and attitude about it on hurts nobody, and will make the job go quicker IMHO.


_____________________________

“The giant Grof was hit in one eye by a stone,
and that eye turned inward so that it looked into his mind and he died of what he saw there.”
From The Forgotten Beasts of Eld, by Patricia A. McKillip

(in reply to StormsSlave)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: What's With the Attitude? - 8/6/2008 2:10:36 PM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: StormsSlave

So, where do you sit? Are you always the fantasy french maid, who never feels angry, frustrated, tired, aggravated, etc? Are you allowed to express when you don't like what you are told to do, or are you required to stuff your feelings and pretend to be happy about it?

For the domly types, would you prefer honest emotion, or do you expect cheerful acquiescence evey time? If that's the case, do you believe your sub truly enjoys all that you ask of her/him?

Just curious to see where folks stand.


my Master doesn't want any falseness, but he doesn't want attitude either. which means that while i certainly don't need to dance a jig or always give service with a smile (such a person would totally freak him out btw), he doesn't want to hear or see any whining, complaining, pouting, etc. either. if he has commanded me to serve or i'm expected to serve in some way, and i just happen to be very tired/sad/irritated/whatever, i'm basically to keep my mouth shut and just do it. if i'm tired, i can always rest afterwards. if i'm sad, i focus on getting it done and over with. if i'm upset with my Master for some reason, i just focus on my role as slave and life purpose as servant to him. He knows me well enough to know when i'm not feeling my best, he doesn't need me to go moaning to him about it.

(in reply to StormsSlave)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: What's With the Attitude? - 8/6/2008 2:26:22 PM   
whiteslavebitch


Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline
No, I'm not required to feign happiness at all of his directives. However, I am still  to be obedient whether I happen to like what I've been told to do or not. I may not be enjoying something in particular, but I'm enjoying being of service to MasterK.

He prefers honesty from me, and he is very honest and forthright as well. I never have to try to "read between the lines".

< Message edited by whiteslavebitch -- 8/6/2008 2:38:14 PM >


_____________________________

MasterK's whiteslavebitch

formally collared 1/30/09

"I give to you my everything, you've given me these loving wings." - DMB

(in reply to StormsSlave)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> What's With the Attitude? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.141