Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: So, I found this receipt


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: So, I found this receipt Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: So, I found this receipt - 8/7/2008 5:35:33 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub

Too funny!! At least he knows what they are, doubt if my parents would of known.


Yea, mine wouldn't either. I could have just told them they were for the bath. Like bath beads, but these are for hemoroids or something. They would have had no clue.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: So, I found this receipt - 8/7/2008 5:41:04 AM   
urtoy


Posts: 55
Joined: 4/23/2004
Status: offline 		I don't embarrass easily (my kids tell me I'm an evil witch), so my "encounter amused me greatly.
My daughter and I were t my mother's after she fell andhad to be hospitalized. She tended to fall asleep on the couch watching TV, so of curse I got to answer any late phone calls. One night I was awakened from a deep sleep by the phone and a man's voice. It was her boyfriend wanting to talk dirty. Apparently our voices are hard to distinguish when sleepy, so I kept him going long enough to assure acute embarrassment when I saw him again. I did eventually pause long enough to shout "Melissa, it's for you. Gabe wants phone sex and I'm going back to sleep."
It's great being a crazy old lady.

(in reply to katie978)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: So, I found this receipt - 8/7/2008 5:59:38 AM   
KMsAngel


Posts: 17415
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline 		damn it, i knew there was a drawback to not having a landline! 'sides, my accent tends to give me away *sigh*

_____________________________

20 fluffy points!

flightless cherub


(in reply to urtoy)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: So, I found this receipt - 8/7/2008 6:05:43 AM   
lally3


Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline 		my turn...,,

my son (12) was going fishing with friends, but couldnt find his mobile, so i told him to take mine, but on no account to read any texts that came through - probably a stupid thing to do and even more stupid that i didnt warn my D - but he'd already texted that day and i knew he was busy for the rest of it...

a couple of hours later, my phone rang at home, and my sons sniggering voice, chorused by giggling friends in the back ground said.. mum youve got a text it says... 'lm going to spank you silly and fuck you stupid' - my response to my D would have been stop calling me silly and stupid, but i missed my chance!

_____________________________

even doves have pride (Prince)

(in reply to urtoy)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: So, I found this receipt - 8/7/2008 6:11:32 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

My dad: Hey, I found this receipt for Anal Beads!!! Yours or the boyfriends???
Me: ....

Me: mine

I have always found that the truth, at times like that...is the best diffuser for embarassment

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to katie978)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: So, I found this receipt - 8/7/2008 6:20:33 AM   
RayvenGoddess


Posts: 77
Joined: 7/11/2005
Status: offline 		Mine isn't about any toys being found, it is about them being given.

My mom has always been cool and very "knowledgeable" about the ways of the world, and even though I never told her I was into this life I just think that as my mother she saw how I acted and figured it out.  One day at my little cousin's birthday party in a crowded restaurant in front of our grandparents, out of know where my mom hands me a bag and says, "Here is a present for you, I'm sure you'll get more use out of it and your dad won't let me keep it in the house."  Inside was a large, white, soft rope flogger!  She said that the guys at her work made it from scraps (she worked at an industrial equipment warehouse and huge ropes were often cut for cranes there) and that dad was scared of it in her hands, so the first person she thought to give it to was me!

Why she chose to do the giving in front of our entire family and a group of strangers at a restaurant I'll never know; but when my cousins started play "hitting" each other with it I smiled at mom, took it from them, and demonstrated the "correct" technique that got them running and screaming in pain (what wussies too, I only used maybe 5% of what I can really do).  My mom first looked really shocked, but then started to laugh her ass off.  Aside from a later conversation of "love has no defined package, blah, blah blah, consenting adults in the privacy of their own home, blah, blah, blah," we have never spoken of it again.

(in reply to lally3)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: So, I found this receipt - 8/7/2008 7:36:12 AM   
restlessdreamer


Posts: 60
Joined: 3/19/2007
Status: offline 		This made me giggle so hard!


Thanks!

(in reply to RayvenGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: So, I found this receipt - 8/7/2008 9:41:04 AM   
UmbraDomina


Posts: 491
Joined: 7/22/2008
From: SE Michigan
Status: offline 		 We had selected a new mattress and box spring a few years ago..... set to be delivered..... I rushed home from work to be there when the delivery guys arrive, only to arrive home and find them on my front step...... open the door, they rush in mummering I was late..... I say wait I need to get somethings out of the way...... as they rip the old mattress and box spring off the frame to remove it, only to find, chains with cuffs attached to the four corners of the steel frame..... I knew I should have removed them the night before, but had figgured I would have time that day before they got there. They dropped the mattress, and said ahhhhh we will be out here, until your done lady........ *laughs* I am not sure who blushed more, me or them.

As for those who rent, or have issues with your toys being seen, I found a great way to handle it. I bought a cheap amoire from a close out store, drilled holes in the inside, added hooks, great toy cabnit, all my floggers, and hanging stuff, stays neat, the shelves hold everything else, and with a drill and a simple hasp on the front.... it locks with a padlock. We used this before the child went off to school, becouse teens get nosey, we still use it when we have company, or the kid comes home from school. Yes they should stay out of our bedroom, but just in case. Plants hang from the hooks in the ceiling, and anything else around the house is removeable

Alexandra ~

_____________________________

Alexandra ~

~~ And I will show you something different from either your shadow at morning striding behind you Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you; I will show you fear in a handful of dust..... T.S. Elliot ~~

(in reply to restlessdreamer)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: So, I found this receipt - 8/7/2008 2:48:39 PM   
soul2share


Posts: 7084
Joined: 12/18/2007
From: somewhere out there.....
Status: offline 		All I can think of is........OOPS!

I haven't had anything funny happen yet.....but I live alone, so I'm lucky there.  One or two close calls with a friend and one of her kids.....they both were in the bedroom, I have my toys hanging on an over the door type rack, and have mirrored closet doors.  Fortunately, the doors were open on the right side, the stuff would be visible from the left door...I just sort of pushed the door open a little more and stood in front of it.  Her 8 year old son was going to follow one of my cats in one day....I got him stopped just as he opened the door...if he'd seen the stuff, it would have been ALL OVER!  You know how it is, out of the mouths of babes, and all.!

_____________________________

I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be?"...people are starting to take it as a challenge!

*Not a fuck was given.*

(in reply to UmbraDomina)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: So, I found this receipt - 8/7/2008 2:51:11 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UmbraDomina

As for those who rent, or have issues with your toys being seen, I found a great way to handle it. I bought a cheap amoire from a close out store, drilled holes in the inside, added hooks, great toy cabnit, all my floggers, and hanging stuff, stays neat, the shelves hold everything else, and with a drill and a simple hasp on the front.... it locks with a padlock. We used this before the child went off to school, becouse teens get nosey, we still use it when we have company, or the kid comes home from school. Yes they should stay out of our bedroom, but just in case. Plants hang from the hooks in the ceiling, and anything else around the house is removeable

Alexandra ~


We thought about this... but we would have had to ask the girls to move out to fit an armoire in our apartment! *LOL*

CFB


_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to UmbraDomina)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: So, I found this receipt - 8/7/2008 3:01:05 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		I love this thread...it soooo reminds me of something my dad would do!  The other stories were great, too!

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: So, I found this receipt - 8/7/2008 3:07:34 PM   
bipolarber


Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline 		When I was 16, my Dad came to me, and set an opened box of condoms in front of me.
"What are these for, Joe?" he asked me.
"You don't know?"
"I know what they are for... what are you doing with them?"
"Keeping myself safe. Both from getitng an STD, and from makeing you and Mom grandparents before the time is right."
(There follows the usual long lecture about respecting a girl, not jumping into things, don't be leaving these things lying around... blah, blah, blah. All very sweet, but it seemed like he was just trying to bust my balls for doing what came naturally.) Finally, when he was finished he turned to walk away...
"Oh, Dad?"
"Yes?"
"Could you do me a favor?"
"What's that?"
"Could you please put a pillow or something behind your headboard? When you and Mom are having fun, it knocks against the wall..."

Dad didn't bring up sex again, unless we asked him first.

(in reply to windchymes)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: So, I found this receipt - 8/7/2008 3:33:00 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		Yeah, but did the bed stop knocking?

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to bipolarber)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: So, I found this receipt - 8/7/2008 5:58:54 PM   
graceadieu


Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		Not nearly as funny as yours, but

My neurotically OCD mother decided she wanted to clean under my bed this morning (really, I'm 23, WTF), and guess what I had under there but my toy bag and a copy of Jay Wiseman's SM101. She hasn't said anything, but I'm feeling extremely awkward!

(in reply to katie978)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: So, I found this receipt - 8/7/2008 6:06:22 PM   
AllThingsGo


Posts: 1
Joined: 3/20/2008
Status: offline 		at 16 my mother found my first vibe, I came home from school one day to find it sitting on top of my laptop


Oh well

not as good as the other stories but its amusing

(in reply to graceadieu)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: So, I found this receipt - 8/7/2008 6:15:43 PM   
masterofdrkness2


Posts: 1697
Joined: 3/17/2008
Status: offline 		lmao... o.k this was a fun read.. and I needed that,thanks everyone 

_____________________________

So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from Hell,
Blue skys from pain.
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
(Pink Flyod)

(in reply to AllThingsGo)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: So, I found this receipt - 8/7/2008 6:17:14 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		In somewhat unrelated news, I have now crossed the line from whatever to OMG!  I asked my grandmother, the same poor woman who has discovered my anal beads and under the mattress restraints, to please have my grandfather make me a paddle feigning it was for a certain naughty child of mine.  I am now the proud owner of a finely handfashioned cherry wood paddle!  Hehe! 

Done with the thread hijack!

lovingpet

(in reply to AllThingsGo)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: So, I found this receipt - 8/7/2008 9:51:50 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		Not me but...

On one particular Father's Day, Valyraen decides to take his father and brother out. He's driving his car, all is happy and right with the word. Birds are singing. Suddenly his brother looks under the seat because his foot hit something. He pulls out a box that used to hold bondage gear. Complete with a picture of a person wearing it - leather straps and chains.


Oppps... Kitten left the box in the car during her excitement to have new toys...

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to katie978)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: So, I found this receipt - 8/7/2008 11:41:46 PM   
MercTech


Posts: 3706
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline 		When I was sixteen, and trying to keep my old rattle trap car running, the batteries in my flashlight died while working on the engine.

I go rummaging and a light comes on.. I know where there are some "c" batteries.

At 2am, my mother wakes me, "What the hell are you doing going through my bedside table?"
I know you aren't supposed to answer a question with a question but I said, "Mama, what is an extra long facial massager used for?  I just needed some batteries for the flashlight."

She quietly closed my door and I heard her go to my toolbox.. yep, she got her batteries back.

katie978... I could BE your dad. <Very wicked evil grin.>

Stefan

(in reply to katie978)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: So, I found this receipt - 8/7/2008 11:55:14 PM   
porcelain26


Posts: 181
Joined: 11/16/2007
Status: offline 		Years ago, my Owner and I had websites together (I was young and stupid, what can I say). Mine was basically an online journal that was easier for Him to keep up with as He traveled for work. His had a copy of our contract, some plain ol' 'nilla pics of me, and a basic outline of our relationship. Then, shortly after my 21st birthday, He has me gangbanged and took pictures of everything. They were goregous! I loved them!! He put them on His website and passworded them in order to protect me. Well, I happened to be extremely proud of those pictures and of the fact that my Owner thought enough of me to share me, so I told several of my friends (keep in mind, these girls have been my friends since grade school). One of them however, became terrified, and told my sister one drunken night. My sister and I do NOT get along.

She goes to the websites, prints everything off (pictures included) and gives them to my parents. I go home to visit, and my mom takes me 3hrs to a different city to see a counselor and try to convince me to enter an inpatient psychiatric program (I am bipolar, but that has nothing to do with the price of tea in China on Tuesday when it rains). I knew I had 2 choices: lie through my teeth, or own up to everything. Lucky for me, I choose to 'own my own darkness'. The next several months were pretty darn rough, but by Christmas things were okay again. That December was the first time I'd seen my mother smoke a cigarette in like 8 years (as she offers one to me!), and she said "I'm just starting to realize that everyone has a dark side." We talked about it all a couple of times after that, but it's now basically "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil". My parents are happy in their ignornace, and so am I!!!

The only time we've come close to acknowledging my kink recently, was a few years ago when my mom told me she needed lube and didn't know what to get *lmao* So, I took her to the porn store and totally hooked her up. She later thanked me profusely for my help, hehehehe.

(in reply to sublizzie)
Profile   Post #: 60
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: So, I found this receipt Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078