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ORIGINAL: Philosopher13

You folks are doing pretty well on your own here. Funny thing is that most of the folks that are all up in arms over my ideas would be the first ones to talk in black and white when it comes to their views on politics and many other aspects of their lives but god forbid someone define my lifestyle.

Gregory
"One man with courage is a majority" Thomas Jefferson

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ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Wow Mist........there was almost a total lack of sarcasm there..... you ok?..:)

Jeff

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ORIGINAL: IrishMist

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ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Wow Mist........there was almost a total lack of sarcasm there..... you ok?..:)

Jeff

Jeff, I have missed you; you gorgeous thing you  [sm=pillowfight.gif]

No, no sarcasm today; I used it all up earlier this week and just can't find the enthusiasm for it

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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Edited to add: Orion, I have I mentioned how awesome you are lately? I think your posts on this thread are a perfect example of how someone can have very strict definations for their personal relationships yet still be accepting of the fact that other people do things very differently. Thanks you.

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ORIGINAL: Philosopher13

...  but to me a slave is the submissive party in a M/s relationship and a M/s relationship's core premise is centered around TPE,  the slaves complete surrender to the Master.

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ORIGINAL: OnlyHisLovebug

 
After skimming through the last 5 pages, I'd have to say that what I see is the OP looking for absolutes in his definitions- in situations where far too many variables exist for it to be possible.

Yes, defining words makes it a lot easier for effective communication to take place. But, when defining words for things that are not concrete- one's beliefs, biases, culture, etc, etc goes into what meaning the word has to them.

For instance, in the OP's statement: "That is like telling someone who plays football that they are a basketball player "- it's nowhere near the same as D/s definitions- as there is little left to interpretation. Those of us in a certain culture know what we define as football, basketball, and have a general consensus as to the officially accepted rules that govern each sport.

D/s and M/s have no such definitions or rules. There are no absolutes. While many people truly believe their way is the correct way, the only right way- this very discussion is proof that their way is not the only way. Think about the vast array of people on this site alone. Everyone is different. They bring different attributes, hopes, fears, and definitions- to any given relationship. Because there are no absolutes, you get a vast array of meanings assigned to any given term- basically, it’s whatever works for that person, at that point in time.

I know that, over the years, my personal definitions for the labels people place on themselves (and more importantly- on OTHERS) has changed dramatically. The definitions are fluid, they evolve with me, change as I learn and grow. Were my earlier definitions incorrect? No. They were the best I had to work with given my information at the time. The problem arises when we try to pigeonhole others into our own biased definitions.

What does it matter what someone I am not in a power exchange relationship with labels themselves as? Just as importantly- what does how I define myself matter to anyone that is not involved in a relationship with me?  

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willowspirit

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Slave or sub, they are still submitting to someone