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RE: A question for Mistress about "breaking"... - 8/14/2008 5:50:46 AM   
sillyslaveboy


Posts: 169
Joined: 7/28/2008
Status: offline 		Don't be afraid to use the term 'breaking'. From the posts here, i can only conclude people do not mean the same when mentioning it. But what Y/you two need i do call 'breaking'.

As psychologist always say, Y/you need to seek the roots of the problem and estimate if and how Y/you BOTH will fight it -- i assume Y/you both are (even unconsciously) willing do work on it. The first step would be breaking the wall --be there any-- that prevents Y/you from open and honest communication on the issue. The rest i'd lay on this:
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa
To the OP, if you really feel the need to break him, and I am hoping it is just a figure of speech, kind of like you want to re-boot him so you can cleanse his hard-drive and incorporate your own training, your own protocols, ect..then might I suggest that you break him gently

If he does not like the idea at first, try to present it in the way he would like it. You should know him better. :)

i will add that ego is pure psychological issue, and it can be 'corrected' if both sides are willing to participate. Other thing would be if You was trying to involve him to scat as gently.

< Message edited by sillyslaveboy -- 8/14/2008 5:53:46 AM >

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RE: A question for Mistress about "breaking"... - 8/14/2008 8:35:51 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sillyslaveboy

Don't be afraid to use the term 'breaking'. From the posts here, i can only conclude people do not mean the same when mentioning it. But what Y/you two need i do call 'breaking'.

As psychologist always say, Y/you need to seek the roots of the problem and estimate if and how Y/you BOTH will fight it -- i assume Y/you both are (even unconsciously) willing do work on it. The first step would be breaking the wall --be there any-- that prevents Y/you from open and honest communication on the issue. The rest i'd lay on this:
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa
To the OP, if you really feel the need to break him, and I am hoping it is just a figure of speech, kind of like you want to re-boot him so you can cleanse his hard-drive and incorporate your own training, your own protocols, ect..then might I suggest that you break him gently

If he does not like the idea at first, try to present it in the way he would like it. You should know him better. :)

i will add that ego is pure psychological issue, and it can be 'corrected' if both sides are willing to participate. Other thing would be if You was trying to involve him to scat as gently.

sillyslaveboy,
I am not the OP, so I'm sure you are not talking about me when you say "You two need..." . I only commented on the fact that I would not "break" him.



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RE: A question for Mistress about "breaking"... - 8/14/2008 9:01:29 AM   
sillyslaveboy


Posts: 169
Joined: 7/28/2008
Status: offline 		Everything is just fine, Mistress of Ga. :) i hope i made my point but yes, i was speaking to the OP.

The way posters here percept the word 'break' seem to be different to that level that they all might be talking about the (nearly) same thing. The way of 'breaking' i would ever find proper certainly isn't anything non-consensual, but doing everything in borders of consensual to see if there is the way to achieve the goal. Now, i hope we agree that ego issues, depending on the intensity, are -- to me kind of weird -- things that could signify a poor and unsatisfactory D/s relationship. They are to be fought by all 'legal means' before One gives up and/or seeks alternative.

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RE: A question for Mistress about "breaking"... - 8/14/2008 4:15:57 PM   
MsCfromMelbourne


Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sillyslaveboy

. Other thing would be if You was trying to involve him to scat as gently.


OK, I understood everything except this bit

Yes, I think rubbing poo all over him would break him all right........but the smell would be unbearable!!!!


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RE: A question for Mistress about "breaking"... - 8/14/2008 8:52:18 PM   
princessKatt


Posts: 20
Joined: 8/7/2008
Status: offline 		"To the OP, if you really feel the need to break him, and I am hoping it is just a figure of speech, kind of like you want to re-boot him so you can cleanse his hard-drive and incorporate your own training, your own protocols, ect..then might I suggest that you break him gently, without damaging the motherboard. There are ways to introduce your own set of beliefs and needs, without shattering his. I wish I could help with ideas, but I have never "broke" a man, just to simply put him back together."

Yes it it was along the lines of the above quote. I've never dealt with ego issues like that before and was not sure how to address them w/out causing harm
MsCfromMelbourne-....thx for the advice. Points 5&6 from that link effectively  describe how he was  a except sometimes  he would bring that home. I guess you could say it was topping from bottom  but no discipline/punishment worked when the ego would get in the way. Only thing that did was effective  prolonged teasing and denying him.  The positive encouragement is possibly what I was missing.

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RE: A question for Mistress about "breaking"... - 8/14/2008 10:43:33 PM   
MsCfromMelbourne


Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		Welcome to the Board by the way, princessKatt.  I hope you enjoy the virtual companionship here as much as I do from the other side of the planet :)

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RE: A question for Mistress about "breaking"... - 8/15/2008 12:09:14 AM   
sillyslaveboy


Posts: 169
Joined: 7/28/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne
OK, I understood everything except this bit
Yes, I think rubbing poo all over him would break him all right

That was totally misunderstood, Miss. Dealing with male ego is a thing that can be done on pure psychological level. The problem is in his head only. In the end of my message i compared this to another situation where the problem is not just in the head (making slave accept consumption) but in the body too. Feces are (very) unhealthy and the body refuses to take them. Again, i actually compared breaking male ego (a human thing to do if You ask me) with getting slave used to scat (thing that never goes without health endangering). i didn't actually suggest You to ever try the second.

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RE: A question for Mistress about "breaking"... - 8/16/2008 4:37:10 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		A power struggle is the worst possible scenario for a Domme sub relationship. This is true when it lies within one person.

The two most powerful tools a Domme has are her mind and her tongue.

You can help, you can support, but he has to resolve the conflict.

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RE: A question for Mistress about "breaking"... - 8/17/2008 5:02:41 AM   
Imakemensquirm


Posts: 59
Joined: 12/28/2006
Status: offline 		An ego can certainly get in the way of a successful D/s relationship and so I feel you have to confront that head on to determine if indeed he has the potential to become a good submissive.  I dated a man a few years ago who said he was submissive by nature, but yet his outward ego said otherwise.  Over a period of a couple of weeks I determined what he enjoyed about being dominated, then one day I took him for a walk in a local park.  I led him to a rather private area, took his arm and turned him towards me, then while looking into his eyes I demand that he wet his pants.  The look of shock on his face was priceless and it was clear he was hesitiating, so I offered him a reward, using many of the things I had learned from him over the previous two weeks.  The look of torment on his face told me he was torn about what to do, but within a few moments droplets of his pee began hitting the ground, but not before the whole front of his pants showed what he had done.

I quickly got him out of the park and home, giving him his reward, but I also had a few other surprises that help me build up his submissiveness and defeat his ego for good.  The next few days were a real test for him, he was confined to diapers and plastic pants and it's very difficult for a man to have an ego when he's dressed this way.   

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RE: A question for Mistress about "breaking"... - 8/21/2008 4:12:48 AM   
sillyslaveboy


Posts: 169
Joined: 7/28/2008
Status: offline 		Actually i would like to add something that might not fit for the OPs situation.

As a TS, i enjoy doing physical exercises in adequate Female clothing. i feel a great burst of energy when being able to do my daily exercises that way. i just feel free.

But to a male, this might be a real ego bust. Imagine that You force him to dress up in simple Female sport wear and do hard exercises while You treat him like a small girl. Lets take an example, push-ups. As he lies on the ground, on the edge of his endurance, You just tease him like a small girl and want him to repeat and confirm Your words. i bet every boy would blush as he drops the last pieces of his male ego. :)


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RE: A question for Mistress about "breaking"... - 8/21/2008 5:42:10 PM   
MsAlaria


Posts: 31
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: Richmond, VA
Status: offline 		Every time I hear the term "breaking a sub" I think of breaking a horse.  I hate doormats and would never consider one.  I enjoy a bit of ego, a bit of feistiness.  But enough about me.

My last slave had a huge ego so I used protocol training for him as well as activities that reminded him of his place.  Subtle reminders when he stepped out of line, like a face slap or grabbing a handful of hair and jerking his head back.  And there's always positive reinforcement.

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RE: A question for Mistress about "breaking"... - 8/21/2008 6:54:08 PM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

Subtle reminders when he stepped out of line, like a face slap or grabbing a handful of hair and jerking his head back. 

Grabbing his hair and pulling his head back sound absolutely yummy. I can't imagine that ever being a reminder to him that he is stepping out of line. I do it too much and have way to much fun while I am at it :)

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RE: A question for Mistress about "breaking"... - 8/22/2008 11:26:02 AM   
SubJordanTyler


Posts: 268
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline 		I wouldn't say I needed to be broken down, but more so put in my place.  I already knew I was a submissive - just needed to be shown exactly how to fully get into submission mentally.  And I can safely say that being bent over, tied in place and fucked hard with an 8 inch strap-on did just that for me.

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RE: A question for Mistress about "breaking"... - 8/22/2008 3:42:50 PM   
MsAlaria


Posts: 31
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: Richmond, VA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

quote:

Subtle reminders when he stepped out of line, like a face slap or grabbing a handful of hair and jerking his head back. 

Grabbing his hair and pulling his head back sound absolutely yummy. I can't imagine that ever being a reminder to him that he is stepping out of line. I do it too much and have way to much fun while I am at it :)


I'm a big fan of it in play myself, but its all in context.  Its just what worked for one since he absolutely hated it!

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RE: A question for Mistress about "breaking"... - 8/22/2008 7:33:53 PM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsAlaria

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

quote:

Subtle reminders when he stepped out of line, like a face slap or grabbing a handful of hair and jerking his head back. 

Grabbing his hair and pulling his head back sound absolutely yummy. I can't imagine that ever being a reminder to him that he is stepping out of line. I do it too much and have way to much fun while I am at it :)


I'm a big fan of it in play myself, but its all in context.  Its just what worked for one since he absolutely hated it!


Oh yes, if he hates it, by all means, use it! lol He hates it, you love it, sounds like a fair deal <s>
Btw, welcome to the boards MsAlaria, I love the name :)

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RE: A question for Mistress about "breaking"... - 8/22/2008 8:01:28 PM   
MsCfromMelbourne


Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		Welcome MsAlaria!!

Havig thought about it, I think the OP means "breaking" as in "breaking a bad habit" not "breaking of the spirit"

Behaviour modification can be a good thing.  There's probably unpleasant reasons for the sub's display of ego and he would be happier in the long run to jettison them

Just be careful what you ask for.  Some Mistresses find feisty much sexier than compliant. 


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RE: A question for Mistress about "breaking"... - 8/22/2008 8:05:36 PM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne

Welcome MsAlaria!!

Havig thought about it, I think the OP means "breaking" as in "breaking a bad habit" not "breaking of the spirit"

Behaviour modification can be a good thing.  There's probably unpleasant reasons for the sub's display of ego and he would be happier in the long run to jettison them

Just be careful what you ask for.  Some Mistresses find feisty much sexier than compliant. 



Ooops. I think I may have misunderstood as well then. Yes, I believe in behavior mod. I have found in all of my past subs that I have had to "break" them of bad habits. Sheesh it is so hard to clean up what their parents did to them.
 
MsC, your gown is lovely. It should attract GT as it sparkles lol


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RE: A question for Mistress about "breaking"... - 9/6/2008 11:08:50 AM   
scottk


Posts: 2
Joined: 2/6/2006
Status: offline 		Dear Princess Katt,

It may be helpful if you could descibe to us some of his actions which you dislike and would like to change.  Also things you want him to be doing better or more of such as be it oral worship, cleaning the house, or whatever.

To break his ego in general may be difficult but changing behavior is relatively easy in comparison.  Depending on the slave things such as chastity (denial), humiliation, or physical punishments all can be effective.

scott

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Profile   Post #: 38
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