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Boondoggle -> RE: Femdom vulnerability (8/18/2008 11:29:02 AM)
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I've had the privilege of being in a few different relationships with women who were just learning to embrace their dominant feelings. I'm also rather empathic and can often read and understand what feelings people are having, especially those with whom I have an intimate relationship. While none of the women have ever reacted as intensely as you've described, they have all certainly had their own moments of vulnerability as they discover and come to terms with their feelings of dominance. I think what you've described here is the same phenomenon experienced much more intensely because the feelings you're tapping into are all the more unsettling to your identity. I have also experienced similar situations when understanding and accepting my own submissive desires (I started off in my kink firmly believing I was 100% dominant, but that's another discussion altogether).
I think these 'events' are part of a wonderful process of embracing all of ones desires. A process which can certainly leave us feeling vulnerable and exposed as our identities are challenged, altered and even remade. To me, this process is beautiful and something to be cherished, especially when shared with a partner.
After an experience like this, I have never found myself feeling in the role of a caretaker. Rather, I try to be a supporting, encouraging partner, which is an attitude I try to cultivate always, though especially so after these instances. I also don't see these events as having anything but a positive impact on my desire to submit. After sharing an experience like this, I generally find myself feeling more attraction and having more respect for her, precisely because she shared such an intimate and profound experience. In fact, I detest the idea that somehow showing vulnerability (or even strong emotion in general) makes someone less worthy of respect or less dominant. I view this notion as another ugly stereotype from our patriarchal society generally used to subjugate women (especially because vulnerability and strong emotions are too often linked with femininity).
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