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Some advice? - 8/9/2008 1:55:55 AM

subswalow

Posts: 25
Joined: 7/14/2008
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Bird: My Daddy is leaving to join the army in less than a month. I was wondering, have any couples here dealt with extended absence and the subsequent strain on the relationship? How do you keep things going? What made things easier for you? Any advice on how to handle this would be most appreciated.

Thank you kindly!

-b i r d

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RE: Some advice? - 8/9/2008 5:44:20 AM

UR2Badored

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No advice but wishes you two the best and hope that the time apart flies byl

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RE: Some advice? - 8/9/2008 7:51:27 AM

Missokyst

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When my first dominant rejoined the navy we kept up our connection for years. We would meet in San Diego when ever he was in port, I would sometimes fly to Seattle and stay for a week on vacations. I have BOXES of mail, cards, mementos, dried flowers, ect that were sent to me over the course of 5 yrs. I did not expect him to remain monogamous to me. In fact, during that time I also dated other men. But seeing him was always the priority when we could. Just as as soon as he came into a local port, or one that I could travel to, he would contact me and I would meet the ship. When we were together, there was no one else.
Gradually things went to a nice lifelong friendship. He is still my best friend after 25 yrs. And every few years we still meet in Reno, or Vegas and spend some time together.
It is hard to do the LDR thing. You have to really like the person, and accept that things may have to change.
Good luck to you both,
Kyst

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RE: Some advice? - 8/9/2008 8:07:30 AM

daddysliloneds

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if he's joining, then he's somehow, someway, trying to secure a future for himself, and unless you're married, seeing that you're so young, my advice would be to stay in contact as much as possible and agree not to try to be monogomous. i did that whole route when i was young; you know, the in love with a man that joined the navy and got shipped out for four years...

those four years i spent waiting, i stopped living my own life and securing my future with what makes me happy for the sake of hoping that we would still be together and happy when he got out, which wasn't the way it panned out in the end. so, while i'm all for being in love and waiting for the love of your life, i'm also a realist that looks at things through a whole different light these days; i can only advise that you do what you are comfortable with doing.

now, if you are married, and you knew he was joining or he was active military when you got involved with him, my advice would be different.

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RE: Some advice? - 8/9/2008 8:21:17 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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Do a search for "long distance"

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RE: Some advice? - 8/9/2008 10:26:36 AM

subswalow

Posts: 25
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We're married, just not legally yet. We're getting the license in a week or two. I didn't know he was joining when I became involved with him, but then again, neither did he. It's been his dream since he was a child to be a soldier. We reached a point in our lives about five months ago where we both agreed that it would be a good decision and good timing for him to achieve his dream. We don't plan on being monogamous, as we're swingers anyways. However, we not do plan on starting any kind of serious relationships.

Thanks for all the advice! Hopes this helps clarify things a bit.

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