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Health issues beyond play - 8/9/2008 9:32:53 AM

Naira

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Joined: 8/5/2008
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I'm curious to know about health issues that go beyond the scene or lifestyle. It would seem to me that issues in a dom or sub's life outside the dungeon (metaphorically speaking) can have a major effect on how/when/to what extent things can be done.

Obviously, major injuries (broken bones, surgery recovery) put any kind of activity on total hold until full recovery. But what about smaller, possibly chronic issues? For example, I am susceptible to tendonitis and major soreness from the knees down if I walk or stand too long. The obvious answer is "sit down", of course. But what about other kinds of health issues?

What kinds of experiences have others had in getting around health issues (both physical and mental) and how they compensate for them?

I would imagine that in an ideal world, both dom and sub (or anyone, for that matter) would do what they can to keep themselves in at least average to better-than-average physical condition, but since the world isn't ideal...

Care to share any stories?

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RE: Health issues beyond play - 8/9/2008 9:55:04 AM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
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carpal tunnel syndrome - we use suspension cuffs if my Sir wants me on the cross for any length of time. Much more comfortable and a lot less likely to cause numbness in my hands.
Frozen shoulder issues ( adhesive capsulitis) - can't have my hands above my head outstretched for any length of time. actually is better since i started working out at Curves regularly. Nice side benefit

otherwise i am fit and healthy - thank goddess

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RE: Health issues beyond play - 8/9/2008 12:10:19 PM

Missokyst

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I have a permanant back/right shoulder injury that sometimes prevents me from raising both arms or to have them pulled behind me. Some days are tolerable, some are hell. It is just a matter of working around it. I am otherwise healthy.
A friend of mine is diabetic. For her, cutting is out because she doesnt heal easily.
Kyst

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RE: Health issues beyond play - 8/9/2008 12:38:36 PM

mariposa1960

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Joined: 6/6/2004
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I think it's important that if you have medical issues of any kind you discuss them with your partner. I have rheumatoid arthritis which sometimes makes some play difficult on a bad day. But we have discovered that the release of endorphins for me tends to ease up the arthritis pain. That or i'm just enjoying myself to much to notice the pain anymore. Having had major surgery that took part of my pancreas also made some play nonexistant for a while. We have learned to work around the drain tube i have in my side as well as other things. You just have to know your limitations and curb those desires. I have a wonderful Master that pulls on my reins even when I think I am feeling good enough to do anything he knows my body better than i do at times. My head may think i can but my body is saying different. Lots of patience and understanding help too. After surgery I didn't want him to touch me much less look at me. I still get a little self conscious about my scars and tubes dangling out but he's seen me at my worst so I can get over this too.

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RE: Health issues beyond play - 8/9/2008 2:10:40 PM

camille65

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Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
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Sometimes play is effected by chronic pain issues, it hits every area of my life so play/sex/intimacy call it what you will is most definitely impacted by problems.

I think I am incredibly lucky, he watches closely and if I'm faltering then its 'boom' rest time. He makes sure I change position often so I don't stiffen up even when in basic restraints.

It took a long time to find the balance but a lot of that is my fault because I kept downplaying the problems, I felt weird about saying that I had to go rest even if it wasn't strenuous activity. Now it is required conversation. He wants to know my pain level before anything else.

It is the only thing I hate about my world, the thing I can't change very much. Sometimes I get angry or frustrated and sometimes I fall into a bout of self pity because I can't do the things I used to.

After awhile I realized that he didn't know me 'before'. There was nothing for him to compare my current self to, I was doing all the comparison. Even with all the problems he loves me and sees me as sexy. Understanding that brought me to a whole new level of understanding myself, that I am much tougher and have higher expectations in regards to myself than he would ever have.

I have to take naps and go to bed early. There is a thing I call 'play and pay'. Meaning for every activity I do I already know upfront that I'm going to have rebound pain. So we pick and choose on that basis just as I have to pick and choose among normal daily things like grocery shopping OR doing laundry but not both. Drives me nuts sometimes not being able to have things always done. Heh nothing like a perfectionist s-type not being allowed to even try for perfection! Thats torture.

Inside of me I have this goofy fantasy of us going camping and him being amazed that I can go hiking. He never met that person, the swimmer. Scuba diver. Canoeist and hiker.

I asked him last night if he thinks I'm frail and he said "you are not fragile the way you are thinking
only fragile in a very good way". Those are words I'm going to keep repeating because dammit I want to be seen as a strong and healthy woman. I want to be known for things other than Lupus, Fibromyalgia, TMJ and the rest of the alphabet soup that is this body.

Yeah yeah I seriously miss performing oral sex but I can't ever do that again.
I can however make him happy in other ways.

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RE: Health issues beyond play - 8/9/2008 5:16:06 PM

Rayne58

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Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
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Sir has kidney failure, diabetes and arthritis throughout much of His body. We do home haemodialysis which means three days out of every week He is on a machine which filters His blood for 8 hours. Those days I can go out for short periods but do not go far. Mainly to the gym or a quick grocery shop. I leave a phone next to Him and I always have mine with me. Luckily I have never had to race home yet *touch wood* There's a lot of stress involved - for instance I am the one putting the needles in now. He says I am better at it than the nurses at the hospital...and I was the one who had needle play as a hard limit

A lot of the time His energy levels are low and He is in pain 24/7. Right now He is in bed because His tummy is feeling icky - why? We don't know but it is just one of the things that happens and we have to work our lives around. Plans often have to be changed at the last minute, it can be frustrating. But for 4 days out of 7 we do have a life, and He is alive to enjoy it with me, so we get through the other 3 days as best we can

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RE: Health issues beyond play - 8/10/2008 7:16:49 PM

Zechriel

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Joined: 11/19/2007
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Good evening!
Well, I have panic attacks and even though I am not on meds(been off them for about 4 years now with no progress) it is still alot just to go grocery shopping or take the kids to their activities. So having a Master very far or more than an hour's drive away is just too much. My former Master was 2 hours away and that combined with some GYN problems I am having/had (either vulvodynia or vaginal atrophy..not sure which yet and has been near a year already) was just too much for me to handle. Not him though, I really had to stand my ground on being released. I know Master are supposed to know us better than we know ourselves but this is something I was not willing to hand over control of, esp. when I had no control over it either. Luckily, Daddy is only 15 minutes away and can fully calm me down if it hits.
I think that is all I can think of but I love taking care of him no matter what.

Love,
Zechriel

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RE: Health issues beyond play - 8/10/2008 8:58:30 PM

patina

Posts: 493
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Hi all:

I have in my profile that i had a stroke 15 years ago. it has left me with\ short term memory loss, cognitive processing problems, balance problems, weakness on my left side. I have ostio arthritis, all through my joints, sliped disc and vertebra out of wack in my back, and last but not least i have bi polar II. On top of that i am dyslexia, OCD and ADD/ADHD.

It will take a rare dom to be able to handle me, i don't know if there is one out there. i am a true slave, i have served a master so know it is what i want. But he was poly and i found that i can not deal with that very good. I also do not do good with long distance.

Master did some lite bondage and as long as i am not tied up too tight or long it is fine.

patina

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RE: Health issues beyond play - 8/11/2008 9:04:24 AM

RCdc

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Whilst not specifically BDSM related, I went through a phase of what the doctor termed 'migraine orgasms'. Every single time without fail, I would have an intense migraine pain hit me the moment I orgasmed which built up during the play or build up. It would last a couple of hours after. I went to the doctor almost immediately when I realised the pattern and she diagnoised that it was the contraception I was on and changed it.

After speaking to my doctor about it and it's possible complications and the damaging effects that last long term if not dealt with I would recommend anyone who has this happen to go see your doctor and get your contraception changed.

the.dark.

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RE: Health issues beyond play - 8/11/2008 12:12:52 PM

CallaFirestormBW

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I have myriad issues related to a progressive, congenital mis-wiring of my immune system. Some of these issues result in mobility challenges and chronic, unremitting pain. Because the pain is neurological and systemic, in order to be able to continue to function, I have to choose to 'push through'. While there are treatments for chronic pain that can address localized pain (like low back or shoulder pain) with injections or local/intrathecal anesthetics, those are not useful when the entire neural net is involved. In addition, the disease manifests with skin problems (intractable neurodermatitis), problems swallowing, horrific short-term spasticity, and some memory-related and MS-type symptoms. In addition, the medications that are most often used to treat include heavy oral and injected corticosteroids, interferons, immune suppressants/modulators, etc., which have had an impact on my heart, my weight/metabolism, and my kidneys.

For me, this means that some days, I am just plain -wiped out-. My first focus is on the responsibilities that I have committed to. I have a full-time job, and unless I am unable to move, I get myself up in the morning and go to work. Even when it is exhausting, I get a lot of satisfaction from continuing to be a productive member of the community despite my challenges. The company that I work for has been great about assisting with modifications where they can, which definitely helps.

My Darling loves long shopping trips -- going out shoe shopping or wandering through town or the mall -- not necessarily buying, but just wandering around looking at things. It is frustrating for both of us that this is something I can no longer do with her -- on the positive side, our two grown girls have replaced me as the "Drag Darling Out Shopping Squad". She also loves to dance -- one thing I hope for is that at least one of the servants that we bring on board with us likes to dance and will be able to escort my Darling back onto the dance floor.

For me, I can no longer kneel or get up from the floor, so scrubbing floors is non-existant for me (also things like scrubbing out the bathtub with the intricacy that I prefer -- you know... toothbrushes in the corners and all of that). I can also no longer stand for hours for the intricate pastry work that I used to do -- no matter how much I love it, after about 30 minutes, the pain becomes just way too much.

Yes -- it impacts everything... but in the end, I get to choose whether or not I let something like this determine whether or not I am happy. Maybe, because I've lived with this my entire life, it becomes like a challenge to me to figure out how to defy all the predictions and have an incredible life... but that's my goal -- to keep myself, even when my body tries to define me.

Calla Firestorm

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