RE: Suggestions for rewards (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive



Message

OsideGirl -> RE: Suggestions for rewards (8/9/2008 3:33:13 PM)

I agree with everyone else that the original three leave me cold. He expects me to say no when warranted, so that doesn't work. I don't want to call all the shots for an evening. I spend all day doing that and quite frankly have had enough by the time I get home. As for "You're forgiven"...I'll be forgiven anyway. Part of a healthy relationship involves taking ownership of the issue, letting go and moving on from that point. I shouldn't need a card because that means that there's things that are being held on to.

What I'd really like:

A day with no responsibility. A day where I don't have to do anything or be anywhere, unless it's something I want to do.

Someone to clean my house.

Chinese Food. He hates it. I love it.



DiurnalVampire -> RE: Suggestions for rewards (8/9/2008 3:40:40 PM)

Oh, if this were for Fox OR Angel, I know exactly what we would do.
"You pick the video game, I play it no questions asked"
"Your choice of movie"
"You pick dinner, I cook it"
"An afternoon of nothing but your book and a favorite snack"
I also like the idea of a "Your choice" card, no suggestion on it, just ask for something you want and you get it.

DV



DarkSteven -> RE: Suggestions for rewards (8/9/2008 7:46:49 PM)

Back rubs are one of my favorite treats.  Giving and getting.



angaothsi -> RE: Suggestions for rewards (8/9/2008 8:25:10 PM)

VISA GOLD!
Free Shoes!
A nice massage ( getting not giving)
a spanking ( maybe thats just me)
dinner out or dinner in that she doesnt have to make-plan-clean



slaveluci -> RE: Suggestions for rewards (8/9/2008 9:17:09 PM)

~FR~

Some of the rewards I get on a regular basis for always being a wonderful slave[;)] are:

*I may get to listen to the 70's station on XM without too much complaning[8D]
*I may get to pick out some special chocolate treats of my choice
*I'll sometimes get to pick out which movies we watch on our regular "Movie Nights"
*I'll sometimes get to choose where I'd like for us to go out for dinner
*I'll get to have some peaceful, quiet reading time to read for pleasure

These are some of my fav-o-rite things[:)]...............luci



proudsub -> RE: Suggestions for rewards (8/9/2008 9:26:09 PM)

a trip to the adult store to pick out a new toy[sm=banana.gif]



XaviersXian -> RE: Suggestions for rewards (8/10/2008 12:46:01 AM)

greetings to all,

Things that I would consider rewards:

the high end of things:

a day at a "gold class" cinema (with all the trimmings)
a "couple" night in a 4-5 star suite of a local establishment
a shopping spree (worth at least a few hundred dollars, otherwise it's not worth the time, nor the effort)

rewards that could be given occasionally:

a short trip, that terminates in a picnic on the beach (or some other such thing)

more manageable "every day" rewards:

being permitted a nap when I need it
being allowed to skip a chore (or skip the chores entirely for the day)
being given some cash (even a few dollars) and being told to go into town to get some r&r away from the house
being driven to a local "nature spot" and being allowed to wander and consider how wonderful life is, before catching a bus back home

well wishes,



sunshinemiss -> RE: Suggestions for rewards (8/10/2008 1:09:12 AM)

To the OP:
2 hours at my favorite book store - cup of coffee included.  ooo That is my favorite reward.

She likes art?  How about attending an art show opening?
A framed print of her favorite artist?
She can choose between two scarves you lay out for her. 

And just a little caution here, rewards work best when they are quickly tied to the positive behavior.

have fun,
sunshine



IvyMorgan -> RE: Suggestions for rewards (8/10/2008 3:57:43 AM)

Can I have the kitchen all to myself for a day please?  With a supply of ingredients?  And other people to eat the food?

(Guilt free cooking = feeding it to other people = no calories!)



Sabella -> RE: Suggestions for rewards (8/10/2008 4:56:51 AM)

For ME great rewards are:


a shower together and he washes my hair
a massage
a trip to the gardening center for a new plant
a run to Best Buys for a movie
coffee at the book store with time to read
a ride around Atlanta just talking & looking at the sights
a trip to the pet store for a new fish or plant
a weekend trip
shopping for a new sexy something to wear
him cooking/bringing home dinner
making me take a nap, LOL
a night out on the town



LaTigresse -> RE: Suggestions for rewards (8/10/2008 5:26:25 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: gypsygrl

quote:

Slave says "no" (decline one command)
You call the shots (the evening is yours)
You are forgiven (no punishment)


Yeah, I had some trouble with these rewards.  They sound to me like you are rewarding her by lifting the D/s dynamic for a bit, or at least parts of it, as if it were an imposed burden.  I would find this troubling.



I know it would be very troubling to my girl. A reward for her, two things immediately came to mind.
She likes Pepsi, I usually don't allow it.
Or a horror flick, I hate them. Giving her an evening to watch a horror flick would just thrill her.



SaraZeal -> RE: Suggestions for rewards (8/10/2008 5:53:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: IvyMorgan

Can I have the kitchen all to myself for a day please?  With a supply of ingredients?  And other people to eat the food?

(Guilt free cooking = feeding it to other people = no calories!)


Isn't that what leftovers are for? When I cook in excess (which is often) I leave it as leftovers, and if no one else eats it I will in a couple meals. Calories per meal won't be too high though.



barelynangel -> RE: Suggestions for rewards (8/10/2008 6:51:12 AM)

I'm with sublizzie  have a service come in and deep clean like do the carpets to the point of moving the furniture to vaccuum and windows and floorboards clean the cabinets, stove fridge etc with all the bells and whistles while you to spend time together and do something fun.  I honestly wouldn't put regular stuff in here because you are stating when she REALLY pleases you.  To me it should be something out of the ordinary because she did something out of the ordinary concept.    I honestly don't think every day things like favorite foods or small things you probably get her on an average day should be held up as "prizes" unless you are going to take those away from her and thats the only time she would get them which means you would have to be diligent in NOT giving them to her any other time -- i.e., going out to a restuarant as a prize - but the night out with all the bells and whistles would be a appreciation showing.  To me from what you stated these are extra because you feel she went above and beyond your expectations.  However, I wouldn't train your slave to do things for rewards or call them rewards because of the connotation of conditioning that word implies and i wouldn't use a rewards program but if you feel she has done something extra special simply do something you feel is nice to show her your appreciation -- a Man can appreciate how hard a slave works and for the value she has to him and make sure she knows they are simply you showing your appreciation because then you are still in control and can decide when to show your appreciation without her having a reward expectation idea, with rewards you are to some extent putting her in control of her slavery on some extent.  You don't want to undo all the conditioning you have already accomplished. On some level i just think if you start holding rewards out for "doing" good and above and beyond -- i believe you are sending the wrong message and conditioning her to do well because there is a reward.  I agree with others your current rewards you listed would probably make her uncomfortable in using them because they go against what you have trained her to do.  I wouldn't have the rewards be anything to do with her slavery to you, it would probably not be as fun for her as you believe it would be.

Some other things would be Take her to a woodworking show or such that has exhibits and such of things she may want to learn.  Make time in her schedule so she can attend a class she has been wanting to do.  anything you would wait to get her for her birthday or christmas.  Take her to an amusement park for the day.    grins and if she does really over the top lol let her redecorate the house lol.  just saying geesh. 

Its a good idea but make sure it doesn't create a mindset conditioning of the training you have already accomplished.

angel



slaveluci -> RE: Suggestions for rewards (8/10/2008 9:53:12 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
Or a horror flick, I hate them. Giving her an evening to watch a horror flick would just thrill her.

Me too![:)]  I love them and Master hasn't watched most of the classics of the genre.  I mentioned He'll sometimes let me choose which movie(s) we watch.  Well, I forgot to add that oftentimes I'll choose one of those "gems" that He's never seen.  He usually gets a real kick out of them.  He loved all Rob Zombie's flicks and...though not horror....has now seen all Tarentino's flicks.  He missed out on so many classics before me[;)]............luci



AquaticSub -> RE: Suggestions for rewards (8/10/2008 10:49:28 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

Oh, if this were for Fox OR Angel, I know exactly what we would do.
"You pick the video game, I play it no questions asked"
"Your choice of movie"
"You pick dinner, I cook it"
"An afternoon of nothing but your book and a favorite snack"
I also like the idea of a "Your choice" card, no suggestion on it, just ask for something you want and you get it.

DV


Oooo.... that would be great. I want to second that! [:)]



charlie63 -> RE: Suggestions for rewards (8/10/2008 11:01:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DelightnDevotion

-fr-

Some things that I would like:

Choose my pleasure:  asking him for a particular sexual activity that I love.  For example, I love to be fucked hard and deep from behind but that isn't his fav--so being able to ask for this and having that request granted would be yummy!!

Choose my pain:  again, I'd love to be able to ask him for a particular scene that trips my trigger but maybe isn't tops on his list.

Choose a new toy:  Oooh, I love it when he and I shop for toys together, especially if I get to pick!!!! 

Choose my reward:  Kind of like the blank tile in a Scrabble game; I get to pick something that meets my particular need at the time.

Choose my tickets:  maybe there's a concert, a play, a movie, a conference or a festival that I want to attend. 

HTH  [:)]


I like these ideas. Choose my pleasure (mine would be similar to DnD's). Choose my pain (otk spanking!) or choose my scene would both be awesome.
Other things that would be great to me - an hour with a masseuse, a day at a nudist resort/beach, a day on a boat (or a day on a nudist boat!!).



RealSub58 -> RE: Suggestions for rewards (8/10/2008 1:09:59 PM)

the remote as I lay on the sofa, with Smirnoff and a bag of Dove chocolates after cheese okey dokey popcorn !!  [sm=hearts.gif] 



leadership527 -> RE: Suggestions for rewards (8/10/2008 3:42:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: gypsygrl

quote:

Slave says "no" (decline one command)
You call the shots (the evening is yours)
You are forgiven (no punishment)


Yeah, I had some trouble with these rewards.  They sound to me like you are rewarding her by lifting the D/s dynamic for a bit, or at least parts of it, as if it were an imposed burden.  I would find this troubling.


That would be it exactly.  In this particular relationship, these things are going to work as rewards (I think) for the following two reasons...

a)  She (and I for that matter), have only been doing this for 9 months.  The "role adoption" is far from complete.  In addition, neither one of us places the M/s dynamic as particularly high on our priority list so the idea of setting it down momentarily is not very disturbing.  I have learned to my detriment *laughs* that a discussion of permanently stopping it will get a much stronger negative reaction from her.

b)  My particular sub places high value on the "gate being open" (her analogy).  I think that things like this allow her to visualize the freedom she already has more clearly and force her to think about the fact that it always has been and always will be entirely her choice.  Personally, I suspect that if I gave her any of those three cards, they might never come back to me... she might just squirrel them away in a safe place to help herself see that she has choice.  I can guarantee that the cards wouldn't come out in any sort of extreme situation (the punishment one, for instance, would never be used in any serious case where I had actually been made either angry or offended).  She wouldn't want to cheese out on an important moment any more than I would.



leadership527 -> RE: Suggestions for rewards (8/10/2008 3:44:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci
*I may get to listen to the 70's station on XM without too much complaning[8D]

Wow, you're Master is too far out there for me.  I'm afraid 70's music is a hard limit for me *laughs*



Zechriel -> RE: Suggestions for rewards (8/10/2008 6:45:19 PM)

Good evening!
  Immediate rewards,for like doing something perfectly or going above and beyond the call of duty-lol, are like Daddy pulls me into his lap for massive hugs and cuddles. Being allowed to nap or snooze afterwards instead of cleaning toys or putting away things. Mmmm
Rewards for things later..like giving me a big reward or thank you or "love you cutie" is a balloon bouquet, Lowe's gift card-I LOVE Lowe's!!!, a plain old chocolate bar but hidden so I have to look for it, or Daddy will BBQ for me..oh I love his BBQ!! Good luck!

Love,
  Zechriel   [sm=couple.gif]



Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.03125