angelspassion4u
Posts: 632
Joined: 7/17/2006
From: Angels
Status: offline
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Number One Idiot of 2007
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control center.
Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little
daughter eating ants.
I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would
be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital.
She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention
that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the
ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room
right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
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Number Two Idiot of 2007
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal
a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home.
Shortly after they took it for a
float on the river, they noticed a
Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
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Number Three Idiot of 2007
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the
Branch and wrote this, 'Put all your muny in this bag.'
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he
began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call
the police before he reached the teller's window.
So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells
Fargo Bank.
After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells
Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors
that he wasn't the
brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his
stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or
go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left.
He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at
Bank of America.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it
anyway.
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Number Four Idiot of 2007
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
measured his speed using radar and photographed his car.
He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car.
Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40.
Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained
another
picture, this time of handcuffs.
He immediately mailed in his $40.
Wise guy........ But you still get a sign
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Number Five Idiot of 2007
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all
of the cash from the cash drawer.
After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of
Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on
the shelf.
He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier
refused and said, 'Because I don't believe you are over 21.'
The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him
because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet
and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21
and she put the Scotch in the bag.
The robber then ran from the store with
his loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license.
They arrested the robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.
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Idiot Number Six of 2007
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers.
The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!'
When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
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Idiot Number Seven of 2007
Arkansas : Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly.
He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store
window, grab some booze, and run.
So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the
window.
The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious.
It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.
The
whole event was caught on videotape.
Yep, here's your sign
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Idiot Number Eight of 2007
I live in a semi-rural area. ( Weyauwega , Wisconsin )
We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative
office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't
think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
STAY ALERT!
They walk among us... and they REPRODUCE... and they VOTE!!!
HAVE A NICE DAY
_____________________________
Recommends books by Victoria Morris through Pink Flamingo publishers.
"You can PLEASE some people some of the time, most people most of the time, but NEVER all the people all of the time."
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