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[Poll]

Can you play without any emotional attachment whatsoever?

Yes

33% (28)

No

35% (30)

Would depend on the person/persons involved

30% (26)

Total Votes : 84

(last vote on : 11/4/2008 6:16:22 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

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RE: Can you play without any emotional attachment whats... - 8/10/2008 11:48:37 PM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

I play without emotional attachment maybe 90% of the time

Some are just clients- I have no desire to get attached

Some are friends- who happen to be fun to play around with a bit, but nothing more

A few are people I would call a 'master' in their kink- I play around with one person to learn needleplay- another to learn how to mess around with ropes. I tend to avoid the 'scene' because it's jam-packed with drama, so no demos for me.

C is the only person I am emotionally involved with, and we both like it that way.

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(in reply to subveritas)

Post #: 21

RE: Can you play without any emotional attachment whats... - 8/11/2008 5:43:15 AM

Maxwell67

Posts: 435
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Exactly. I'm not just a life support system for a "fuck stick."

A great deal of the bdsm play I have done was not at all about sex or romantic intimacy- It was to practice things I see as art-or to play with control.

Practice and play do not strike me as the same things. Play is something I could only do with someone I liked and cared enough about to establish that level of intimacy with. Yes, for me play is intimate even when it isn't explicitly sexual. Otherwise it is just torture... not that there's anything wrong with that.

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 22

RE: Can you play without any emotional attachment whats... - 8/11/2008 8:04:05 AM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

Well maybe to HER it is about sex and orgasms.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alumbrado

Where did you get the idea that casual play is about sex and orgasms?

(in reply to Alumbrado)

Post #: 23

RE: Can you play without any emotional attachment whats... - 8/11/2008 9:25:22 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

*goes and sits down quietly

riiiiight

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(in reply to Daddysredhead)

Post #: 24

RE: Can you play without any emotional attachment whats... - 8/11/2008 9:29:23 AM

Twstdkinkerbell

Posts: 1829
Joined: 2/3/2008
From: Neverland
Status: offline

I have... I do It tends to leave me feeling very emotionally drained. I personally need that bond between myself and someone I am truly with. I have played with close friends, but that too has left me wanting so much more.. and the effects have a tendency to last for days, along with the effects of an intense session, and for me it has led to periods of great sadness, longing and grief that I don't have a significant other...This is not absolute. I have had positive experiences, and there fun and joy to be had at the play parties, activities, and clubs I go to.

*sigh*

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(in reply to subveritas)

Post #: 25

RE: Can you play without any emotional attachment whats... - 8/11/2008 9:36:41 AM

PrincessJ77

Posts: 372
Joined: 7/25/2008
From: point A
Status: offline

I can't. The intimacy involved in sharing my pain (which ultimately results in climaxes) is too personal. In the same manner I don't fuck around. I've only known one sadistic owner and prefer the next one to be a spouse as well.

(in reply to Twstdkinkerbell)

Post #: 26

RE: Can you play without any emotional attachment whats... - 8/11/2008 12:08:50 PM

DaddyChess

Posts: 193
Joined: 4/11/2008
Status: offline

I suppose for a Dom/Domme it would be easy enough to work our "art" for art's sake. But then we could work on manequines and feel the same satisfaction. I think that even if there was not an emotional attachment at the start, if at least one of you is satisfied, there will be one. I am very happy when what I do has the desired effect on my subject.

On the sub side, it would seem there needs to be a certain level of trust, which means a certain level of familiarity with the one you are working with. If the sub isn't concerned with the pleasure (sexual or not) of the Dom/Domme, are they truely being a sub or are they being self centered and hoping to "get what they need"?

I guess you could ask the same of a one night stand? Does there need to be an emotional attachement or are the two (or more) involved simply "getting theirs"??

(in reply to PrincessJ77)

Post #: 27

RE: Can you play without any emotional attachment whats... - 8/11/2008 4:06:47 PM

everhope

Posts: 2179
Joined: 8/19/2007
Status: offline

my first casual scene took me to such a deep place of surrender and it taught me that i am not so good at the casual play thing. i have played many times after this first time, but i always feel like i am holding back so much. so much that the holding back is the real pain in the play not the inflictions with toys that leave my skin bruised and marked. obviously, i am not made of the stuff that makes a good casual player. i need to feel surrendered to the point that every fiber of my being would die for him...being aware of my extreme feelings is not very comforting to me, but at least i am self aware now and able to verbalize it.
yeah... i am not good casual play partner material.

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(in reply to DaddyChess)

Post #: 28

RE: Can you play without any emotional attachment whats... - 8/11/2008 4:13:53 PM

sujuguete

Posts: 263
Joined: 7/3/2008
From: DC metro area
Status: offline

I tried it, and it just left me empty. I have no desire to do it again. . .

Then again, if I don't get beaten soon. . .

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(in reply to everhope)

Post #: 29

RE: Can you play without any emotional attachment whats... - 8/11/2008 4:21:51 PM

hizgeorgiapeach

Posts: 1672
Status: offline

Since I don't do the whole power exchange thing, playing without even the slightest emotional attachment is rather easy for me. I don't "submit" to anyone - and when I do SM play, power exchange isn't part of it - it's purely physical stimulation. Sex isn't necessarily part of play time for me, so there doesn't even have to be any sort of attraction there. As long as I'm certain they're compitant weilding the toys, and that they aren't going to cross any lines that I've said they're not allowed to cross, it's good to go. If we're in a dungeon there are other people around to moniter things, and keep a relative "unknown" from doing things they've been told they aren't allowed to do, so it doesn't bother me even if there's no attachment whatsoever.

Now that Changes when it comes to being restrained outside a populated public dungeon. However, restraints aren't necessarily part of my play time all the time Either - nor even a majority of the time. I have to really Know someone - trust them on a rather deep level - to allow them to restrain me. That knowledge usually means that they're either a good friend or such a long time play mate that there is some sort of bond between us on an emotional level. When I'm restrained, I can't turn around and deck them for crossing lines and ignoring what I tell them is OK or not OK - nor can I simply walk away and tell them play time is Over. There's not many people on the planet that I'll allow to tie me down.

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Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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(in reply to everhope)

Post #: 30

RE: Can you play without any emotional attachment whats... - 8/11/2008 5:15:04 PM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

I'm not just a life support system for a "fuck stick."

Leatherist, This would make one helluva bumpersticker.

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(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 31

RE: Can you play without any emotional attachment whats... - 8/11/2008 5:20:11 PM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

Yes

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Post #: 32

RE: Can you play without any emotional attachment whats... - 8/11/2008 5:22:42 PM

MissIsis

Posts: 473
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline

Absolutely!

(in reply to camille65)

Post #: 33

RE: Can you play without any emotional attachment whats... - 8/11/2008 5:23:30 PM

subtee

Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline

~FR

"Can" I? Maybe, but I don't care to investigate it.

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Post #: 34

RE: Can you play without any emotional attachment whats... - 8/11/2008 5:25:51 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

~FR

"Can" I? Maybe, but I don't care to investigate it.

(What she said).

(in reply to subtee)

Post #: 35

RE: Can you play without any emotional attachment whats... - 8/11/2008 6:37:31 PM

coupleowl

Posts: 473
Joined: 7/4/2008
Status: offline

We can play without having any feelings towards the person. Past basic sexual drive.

(in reply to subveritas)

Post #: 36

RE: Can you play without any emotional attachment whats... - 8/11/2008 8:25:13 PM

lilsubl

Posts: 4595
Joined: 2/6/2006
Status: offline

yes, i can & i have done so...sometimes it was to experience something new, sometimes just cause i wanted to feel pain...emotions & bdsm play can be completely separate for me...but to be owned, there has to be some kind of emotional attachment for me...

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(in reply to natasha66)

Post #: 37

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