Educating the Dominant (Full Version)

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swooshieone -> Educating the Dominant (8/11/2008 7:21:13 AM)

Is it possible for a submissive to educate a Dominant? Are there things a Dom can learn through a submissive? (Learning and educating as in lifestyle skills) What have you as a Dominant learned from your partner? On the flip side, what do you as a submissive believe you may have taught your partner?



SimplyMichael -> RE: Educating the Dominant (8/11/2008 7:24:08 AM)

Why would I want to be with someone who couldn't enrich my life, who didn't know things I didn't, who had nothing to bring to enhance my life?  I have learned a great deal from every partner I have ever had and BSB has probably changed and enhanced my life in the most profound way of all.



pompeii -> RE: Educating the Dominant (8/11/2008 7:47:02 AM)

I learn all the time. From a submissive. From a Dominant. From Collarme. From everywhere.

One sub, for example, taught me that the best nipple clamps (for her) were those that were adjustable. Another taught me that (for her) staying in one place while dining at the Y was a good thing. Another taught me, accidentally, not to place her on her back while bound with a dildo shoved up her ass.





LadyHibiscus -> RE: Educating the Dominant (8/11/2008 7:59:01 AM)

I sure hope that I can learn from my submissives! 



porcelain26 -> RE: Educating the Dominant (8/11/2008 8:04:25 AM)

It seems to me like what you're really asking is can a submissive teach a dominant in the way we 'expect' a dominant to teach a submissive. I think this is absolutely possible. Look at all the instances where an incredibly experienced submissive develops a 'scene' relationship with a very inexperienced dominant in order to help him or her perfect their craft. I also know of many situations in which dominants are more than willing to turn over certain aspects of their lives to their submissive who is more skilled in that area (such as allowing the CPA submissive to handle the finances). D/s is like any other relationship in terms of needing to give and take, it's just that we spin it all with a different dynamic.



TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: Educating the Dominant (8/11/2008 8:06:19 AM)

When you stop learning, you stop growing.  When you stop growing, you start dying.

I learn all the time from my slaves.  I learn mostly by watching how they react to things I am doing, but I also learn directly from them when they have something to teach me.  In my relationship, I am just a bit younger than their combined ages, so I feel I still have the upper hand when it comes to teaching and guiding them, but this old dog is always open to learning new tricks.

Taggard



GoddessRegina -> RE: Educating the Dominant (8/11/2008 8:10:38 AM)

I would surely hope that anyone can see the answer as a Yes. Everyone starts somewhere and at that point they need a "mentor". Who better to guide you then the once you will be eventually work with. I have seen in my lifetime some supreme submissives and some really mediocre dominate partners, then 1 Year later the dominate was truly what they were in the path to become. The submissive taught his/her dominate and that dominate was self assured enough to be wise and listen to the guidance.

We all can learn from each other at one point or the other in life. Don't ever be stupid enough to think that submissives are 2nd class people. They are some of the strongest willed individuals out there. It is a lot harder to garner respect saying "Yes, I am a slave / sub to so and so and I am proud of it (especially for males these days)" then " I am a Domme / Dom, they do what I say."

Thanks for reading.



AquaticSub -> RE: Educating the Dominant (8/11/2008 8:34:33 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: swooshieone

Is it possible for a submissive to educate a Dominant? Are there things a Dom can learn through a submissive? (Learning and educating as in lifestyle skills) What have you as a Dominant learned from your partner? On the flip side, what do you as a submissive believe you may have taught your partner?


It's very possible. You may want to do a search on old threads regarding this topic. I helped introduced my owner to this world in various ways, from teaching him toy use to showing him books and these forums.



MasterHermes -> RE: Educating the Dominant (8/11/2008 8:36:24 AM)

He can learn from you as long as he is open to it. Otherwise you can not educate him. That being said, the word "educating" implies a sense of authority , a certain power on him. Its always there in a teacher-student, guru-follower relationship. So intead of saying "I want to educate you", perhaps telling him (or somebody) that you want to share something with him is better. If you know something I dont, share it with me..

Good Luck
Hermes



GreedyTop -> RE: Educating the Dominant (8/11/2008 8:39:08 AM)

Hermes .. thats assuming that the dominant is so egotistical that he'd get offended by the words education/learning/etc *grin*



LaTigresse -> RE: Educating the Dominant (8/11/2008 8:42:09 AM)

I've learned far far more from the slaves and submissives in my life, than I ever could have imagined.

I can honestly say I wouldn't be able to have a positive M/s relationship without their knowledge and generous sharing.



Prinsexx -> RE: Educating the Dominant (8/11/2008 9:24:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: swooshieone

Is it possible for a submissive to educate a Dominant? Are there things a Dom can learn through a submissive? (Learning and educating as in lifestyle skills) What have you as a Dominant learned from your partner? On the flip side, what do you as a submissive believe you may have taught your partner?

Absolutely. But it also helps if they are secure enough to give one feedback. Instead of veiled attempts at self defence.



ShiftedJewel -> RE: Educating the Dominant (8/11/2008 9:27:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Why would I want to be with someone who couldn't enrich my life, who didn't know things I didn't, who had nothing to bring to enhance my life?  I have learned a great deal from every partner I have ever had and BSB has probably changed and enhanced my life in the most profound way of all.


You said it best. Yes, not only do I believe I can be educated by my partners, but I absolutely require it. I will never be so bold and arrogant as to believe that I know all I need to know and can learn nothing more from the people around me.
 
Like Taggard said...

quote:

When you stop learning, you stop growing.  When you stop growing, you start dying. 


Jewel



MasterHermes -> RE: Educating the Dominant (8/11/2008 9:31:31 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Hermes .. thats assuming that the dominant is so egotistical that he'd get offended by the words education/learning/etc *grin*


I do not know him. But teaching something to another person is a difficult thing to begin with, aspecially if this other person is not the one whom  initially seeking it. Thats why aproaching as nice as possible can be helpful to overcome possible difficulties.

Her original question makes me think that she is not sure about his reaction.  If he is very willing and open to learn from her, its great.



leadership527 -> RE: Educating the Dominant (8/11/2008 9:39:26 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
Why would I want to be with someone who couldn't enrich my life, who didn't know things I didn't, who had nothing to bring to enhance my life?  I have learned a great deal from every partner I have ever had and BSB has probably changed and enhanced my life in the most profound way of all.

Yeah, what he said.  Independent of how we make decisions in our relationship, my wife was chosen to be my life partner, not my sex toy and cook.  If she couldn't educate me, then she would've been unable to fill that role.  The fact that our vanilla marriage has morphed into a M/s relationship is due to her educating me.  IMO swoosh, what you're really asking is somethign like, "So are there any doms out there who are secure enough in themselves to get input from other people no matter the person or role in the doms life?"  My answer to that is, "There damned well better be for the sake of all the subs out there looking for partners.



yourMissTress -> RE: Educating the Dominant (8/11/2008 9:43:02 AM)

Whether or not we choose to acknowledge or admit it, we all learn something from every person that we interact with.  We can use what we learned or we can throw it away. 
 
The most important lessons I have learned from previous submissives is what I want and what I don't want in a partner (play partner or life partner).



GreedyTop -> RE: Educating the Dominant (8/11/2008 9:43:24 AM)

I just gotta say, from the sounds of it..  I envy you, leadership :)

I wish you always the best, which is kinda pointless since it sounds like you have it already :)



CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Educating the Dominant (8/11/2008 10:45:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: swooshieone

Is it possible for a submissive to educate a Dominant? Are there things a Dom can learn through a submissive? (Learning and educating as in lifestyle skills) What have you as a Dominant learned from your partner? On the flip side, what do you as a submissive believe you may have taught your partner?


No matter which side of the collar, there is -always- something you can learn from the other perspective. It can go from simple things that come from open communication during the process of learning one another and how to interact to practical skills to the extreme -- in a peculiar and fascinating fetish not commonly exhibited these days... One of the 'fetishes' that I hope to have fulfilled among our servants is this peculiar fetish to have a servant whose main purpose is my intellectual stimulation -- a servant who will sit down, at any point that I am desiring to do so, and converse with me -- ride the train to Happy Tangent Land -- while discoursing with me on philosophical, esoteric, metaphysical, social, political, fantastical subjects of all sorts (yes, and even -arguing-!). Yes... it -is- a fetish.. and someday, I'll find someone who is as fixated as I am on it.. and I -know- I will learn a lot!

Firestorm



Lockit -> RE: Educating the Dominant (8/11/2008 10:50:46 AM)

I think people gain a lot of learning from one another and anyone who feels they are above learning from someone, has a big problem and I would be exiting.  No one knows it all and no one should be of a lower standing to be considered unworthy of learning from. 



CalifChick -> RE: Educating the Dominant (8/11/2008 11:04:25 AM)

So when it is from the D to the s, it is "training"... when it's from the s to the D, it's "educating"?  Hmmmmm.


Cali



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