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RE: 24/7 Power Exchange - 8/13/2008 5:36:59 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Steponme73

That is exactly what I have been talking about!!! You told him what you were looking for, he responded!!!!
Thank you.....finally someone understands!


My statement came as we were evaluating our relationship after 6 months of formal training. It wasn't that I walked up to him and just made this statement... that would a stupid thing to do because even if he'd responded positively the relationship/dynamic wouldn't have a solid foundation to be built upon.

Training was done, I was not interested in a vanilla boyfriend, I wasn't interested in a part-time sub, I made my statement based on that fact. He responded based on what he had learned about himself and about me over those six months.

It wasn't a matter of domination or submission but of two mature people making a rational decision about what was best for them. And it is still our best choice with each other though we have also discovered he has top desires and we make room for that with other partners for him and more masochistic partners for me as well.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Steponme73)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: 24/7 Power Exchange - 8/13/2008 9:02:31 AM   
housesub4you


Posts: 1879
Joined: 4/2/2008
Status: offline 		Have you EVER served a Domme?  I argee with the post stating you have be reading to many femdom books.

I serve my Domme, we discuss life in general and the everyday things that come up in peoples lives.  She knows who is in control but, in the real world people talk to each other and express ideas, concerns, and way to many things to list here.

As an example, She loves using rope, I have never had any experience in rope, so we discussed it first and She is slowly starting to use rope.  Afterwards we talk about it, even when she is tying me up she is asking how I feel, is there any tingling anywhere to make sure I am safe.

In your world she should just do whatever She wants and no thoughts about my concerns or health should arise, Yea, I don't think so. 

(in reply to Steponme73)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: 24/7 Power Exchange - 8/13/2008 9:15:09 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Steponme73
Because if she says, "may I please have 24/7 TPE", and the sub says,"ok", then he is the one in charge.
I would think she would make her desires known...not ask for permission.

You assume, though, that someone is asking for permission. I ask for show of interest, I am not going tp pursue an TPE with someone who will never be comfortable in that position. Justb because I am the Dominant and I want it doesnt make it magically work. They have to be interested in giving up what I want to take.
I have asked both boys, I ask them for things all the time. Asking is the polite way to do things.  I do not have an interest in being a porn-type Domme who snarls orders and expects to be obeyed. I ask politely, knowing I am not going to be told no.  I have the power, I just choose the presentation.
Power exchanges are not easy things to be involved in. Asking is more of a way to make sure things are going smoothly. I do not ask permission to make demands, or have services performed. I do ask for them, however, so that it makes my desires known. What I want cannot always be done the second I want it. There are things that can get in the way of instant compliance, and so I ask for something to be done with the assumed impication that it is done as soon as they can manage it.

DV 


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Steponme73)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: 24/7 Power Exchange - 8/13/2008 9:19:47 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Okay... was this thread a form of an interview to see exactly which dominant's would perform exactly right to win the ultimate domina award?

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: 24/7 Power Exchange - 8/13/2008 10:25:19 AM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Okay... was this thread a form of an interview to see exactly which dominant's would perform exactly right to win the ultimate domina award?


Oh, crap.  I doubt if I even placed third.  Perhaps I could treat myself to an ice cream for consolation purposes.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: 24/7 Power Exchange - 8/13/2008 10:27:05 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Come on Venatrix, I baked cookies... we can mourn our status as mere runners up



_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Venatrix)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: 24/7 Power Exchange - 8/13/2008 10:31:49 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I'm going for a smoothie... that way I get to chop something up and then enjoy.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: 24/7 Power Exchange - 8/13/2008 10:34:44 AM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I'm going for a smoothie... that way I get to chop something up and then enjoy.


Erm, I think I'll be going over to DV's.  I'm not sure I want to be around someone with sharp knives at the moment.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: 24/7 Power Exchange - 8/13/2008 10:41:31 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

Erm, I think I'll be going over to DV's.  I'm not sure I want to be around someone with sharp knives at the moment.


ROFL... I only hurt banana's and strawberries... well for a smoothie anyway, doesn't take much of a knife for fruit! hehe

(in reply to Venatrix)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: 24/7 Power Exchange - 8/13/2008 10:42:52 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Ice cream, cookies and smoothies?
Sounds like my kinda victory celebration.



_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: 24/7 Power Exchange - 8/13/2008 1:14:29 PM   
MamaDomme1


Posts: 377
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline 		~~FR~~
I think he said TammyJo won.... dang, I just kept reading responses and shaking my head... maybe if I had said something I would have at least been in the running!

Step... hun, you have spent way too much time in fantasy and fiction, as others have already told you.  Please, for your own good... get out from behind the computer and go into the Real World.  Attend munches, events, clubs.  Meet real couples that are actually involved in a TPE and learn how they live.  Maybe you will understand how the dynamics of each relationship is different for each couple.

And because I am a Domme (complete with pin, thank you Lotus) and I have told you to do it, you MUST obey!

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: 24/7 Power Exchange - 8/13/2008 2:33:36 PM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MamaDomme1

~~FR~~
I think he said TammyJo won.... dang, I just kept reading responses and shaking my head... maybe if I had said something I would have at least been in the running!



Yeah, but what's the booby prize?

(in reply to MamaDomme1)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: 24/7 Power Exchange - 8/13/2008 2:50:54 PM   
MamaDomme1


Posts: 377
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline 		lol-- maybe a "boob job"?

(in reply to Venatrix)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: 24/7 Power Exchange - 8/13/2008 3:41:03 PM   
Maxwell67


Posts: 435
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		Oh, please, those who are used to being in charge all the time still say "Please" and "Thank you".  You would think of all people that a submissive would understand that once you have established the D/s dynamic, the use of  'please' is purely politeness, not indicative of an actual choice.  When I say "Would you please refill my glass, love?" to Mine, it is a rhetorical question.  Of course she will refill it.  It's just much nicer to phrase it that way.  Intimate relationships can get cramped if you are stretching your ego all the time, they need a little lubrication once in a while.  Politeness keeps everything smooth and comfy.

(in reply to MamaDomme1)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: 24/7 Power Exchange - 8/13/2008 3:54:49 PM   
TPEMistress4girl


Posts: 1
Joined: 7/23/2008
Status: offline 		It is not up to us to demand 24/7, TPE. It is up to the one looking to serve us, to give us that control over their life. That is consensual. Now, once they do that, then we can do as we wish where that person is concerned...as they have given us that control.
 
What your posting suggests, is that I can call any submissive I know and say, "Hey, get your ass over here right now. I am taking complete control of your life." So, I take it that submissive should just jump on over here, just because I demanded it. Is that what you are saying?
 
I would want nothing to do with the submissive who would do so. Shows bad lack of judgement. But, that is only my opinion.

(in reply to Steponme73)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: 24/7 Power Exchange - 8/13/2008 7:11:28 PM   
MmeGigs


Posts: 706
Joined: 1/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Steponme73
Tammyjo...why can't the Domme say something like, "If this relationship is to continue, I want 24/7 TPE."  That is not asking that is expressing your desires.


It's expressing her desires with the intention of getting a response from him.  It's a question without the question mark, and fundamentally no different than, "Are you interested a 24/7 TPE relationship with me?"  I suppose your statement has an air of command that you find appealing, but the intentions behind and results of both approaches are the same.  In either case, the sub has the same options - he can say yes or no.  In either case, if he says no the dom has the same options - she can negotiate some other arrangement or she can send him on his way and look for someone else. 

A lot of questions aren't questions at all.  When I ask my hubby (my 24/7 slave by any definition I've seen here on CM) to do something for me, we both understand that I'm not really asking.  I say, "Would you..?" and even please and thank-you, but he doesn't have the option to say "no", or even "Can you wait a minute?" unless he's in a position where he is unable to act immediately. 

What you're really talking about is a style of domination that pushes your buttons.  It's good to know what you are looking for, but not so good to assume that your personal preferences are The Way Things Should Be. 

(in reply to Steponme73)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: 24/7 Power Exchange - 8/13/2008 7:29:32 PM   
Steponme73


Posts: 552
Joined: 11/9/2007
Status: offline 		LOL...Well now that I have ruffled everyone's feathers I apologize.  I am not suggesting anything, nor am I saying what a Domme should do.  Ya'll do whatever you want.  It is fine with me.  I was simply posing a question...
Thanks for the respones though.  And yes Rumples...I do listen.

(in reply to MmeGigs)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: 24/7 Power Exchange - 8/13/2008 8:16:56 PM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

Your thoughts may work really well in fantasy however in my world, people wear blue jeans, t-shirts and have real relationships where there IS a power exchange, not a power struggle that requires the Domme to be demanding/bossy to be seen as *Dominant* 

<Applauds> Nice!

_____________________________





(in reply to softpjOS)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: 24/7 Power Exchange - 8/14/2008 9:14:21 PM   
OriginalStuff


Posts: 48
Joined: 6/11/2005
Status: offline 		I'll agree with You  Lockit, if You're still making strawberry and banana smoothies!  Ok, I want to do the cutting....  arm wrestle Ya for the knife!!
 
Good to see You again. Hope all is well
 
OS

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: 24/7 Power Exchange - 8/15/2008 9:57:16 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OriginalStuff

I'll agree with You  Lockit, if You're still making strawberry and banana smoothies!  Ok, I want to do the cutting....  arm wrestle Ya for the knife!!
 
Good to see You again. Hope all is well
 
OS


OS!  Wow... it's great to see you!  It's been a ride, I wouldn't mind if it were a bucking... well... you know... but things are shaping up nicely!  Thank you!  But hey... no fighting over the knife... I give.  I know when I can be bested!

(in reply to OriginalStuff)
Profile   Post #: 40
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