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RE: A little help, please - 8/13/2008 12:41:41 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Racquelle

Not meaning any disrespect at all to AquaticSub, but the notion of celebrating sobriety by having "pretend" drinks is a monumentally bad idea.  It was a well meaning suggestion, but in my experience, sober people who cling to near-beer, fake cocktails and dealcoholized wine...don't stay sober.  It's kind of like going back to an ex who beat you just to "visit".

My sobriety date is 11/25/1987



The idea is not to get caught up in "mocktails" or pretend drinks - I hate that word and the idea that you are pretending to drink while not really drinking. It's been my experience (YMMV and probably will) that someone used to drinking booze all the time, or simply too much, forgets that there are quite yummy drinks out there that don't contain booze. It's much easier to stay on track when you don't feel deprived so I stick to my advice.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 8/13/2008 12:45:07 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Racquelle)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: A little help, please - 8/13/2008 12:45:06 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		Aquatic,
I mean you no disrespect but that is REALLY bad advice. As I said, you will not find a recognized treatment program anywhere that would endorse doing such a thing. As a substance abuse counselor I have seen many instances where mock drinks were the first step in a bad fall. Alcoholics don't feel deprived of yummy drinks because alcoholics don't drink for the "yummy" factor.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: A little help, please - 8/13/2008 12:48:36 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Aquatic,
I mean you no disrespect but that is REALLY bad advice. As I said, you will not find a recognized treatment program anywhere that would endorse doing such a thing. As a substance abuse counselor I have seen many instances where mock drinks were the first step in a bad fall. Alcoholics don't feel deprived of yummy drinks because alcoholics don't drink for the "yummy" factor.


*shrugs* I respect your experience and realize that it isn't the reason that alcholics drink. I've simply seen being deprived of a particular taste as another reason to go back to drinking. Again, I don't see them as "mock drinks" and probably never will. If the rest of the world does, than hopefully she will follow the advice of the help she is getting outside over a person over the internet.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: A little help, please - 8/13/2008 1:04:29 PM   
subeos


Posts: 140
Joined: 5/23/2008
Status: offline 		It's like going to a bar and having a glass of water...
slave eos

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: A little help, please - 8/13/2008 1:23:08 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		When my brother first stopped drinking he could not even touch an alcohol-free beer or an alcohol-free glass of wine. It was too tempting, as it put his focus on the drinks he used to so enjoy and missed. 20 years later he has no problem with that, but when he stopped drinking, anything resembling or reminding him of alcohol was extremely risky for him.

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Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: A little help, please - 8/13/2008 1:23:34 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		~fr~
Get some treatment for your addiction.  If nothing else call a crisis hotline and get a referral to an appropriate agency.  It's nice that your dominant wants to monitor your drinking, but you've admitted you have a problem, you shouldn't be drinking to begin with and he shouldn't be enabling your behavior, that is not how adults help those whom they care for.  I hope you find the strength to get through this and into a situation where you find some help.

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
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(in reply to subeos)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: A little help, please - 8/13/2008 2:10:31 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: Racquelle
Not meaning any disrespect at all to AquaticSub, but the notion of celebrating sobriety by having "pretend" drinks is a monumentally bad idea.  It was a well meaning suggestion, but in my experience, sober people who cling to near-beer, fake cocktails and dealcoholized wine...don't stay sober.  It's kind of like going back to an ex who beat you just to "visit".
 

I buried my alcoholic ex Master last week. He hung himself. He was 39 years old. He loved me immensely...but his affair with that bottle was one that I just couldn't compete against. The scars that he has left on those of us he left behind are permanent and devastating.


My sympathies!

To the OP, the Bible said it best no one can serve two Masters.  You know who you desire to serve, so now is the time to break free of the other.  And there is much good advice here to help you do it.

lovingpet

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: A little help, please - 8/13/2008 2:41:25 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		AA and a C.A.C., you need professional help. This is an addiction, and despite the fact that you don't use every day, you are still an addict.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: A little help, please - 8/13/2008 2:59:13 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		A lot of good advice here.....I'll only add that you and Master both need to realize that HE CANNOT HELP YOU.  HE CANNOT CONTROL YOUR DRINKING.  You'll find reasons and excuses to drink, and (if you're not already), you'll find ways to sneak it and hide it. 

YOU are the only one who can help yourself and you'll only do it when you are ready to.  Your addiction is way stronger than he is and it will win out  unless YOU get the professional help. 

It's great that you came in here and stated that you have a drinking problem.  That's the first big step.  I really wish you the very best and hope you find the strength and the right mentors (members of AA, not your Master) to help you.

Edited to add another thought:   You can't think of your drinking problem as something to "be controlled".  It's something that you have to "stop doing". 

< Message edited by windchymes -- 8/13/2008 3:00:45 PM >

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You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: A little help, please - 8/20/2008 12:25:34 PM   
girlivy


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline 		Hang in there! The more control you learn to have over yourself, the more you will be able to surrender.... Have you been paying attention to the "triggers" that land you in self destructiave behavior? it is not just the drinking that needs"treatment" more of the whole addictive personality, or you will just shift the addiction to something else..
Best to you!! *hugs*

_____________________________

AUTHENTIC SPIRITUAL GROWTH NEVER COMES FROM EXPERIENCES THAT THE EGO CAN PREDICT OR CONTROL.
OUR SPIRIT HAS ITS OWN AGENDA: OUR DESTINY.
Be yourself, everyone else is taken!

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: A little help, please - 8/20/2008 2:41:29 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CaraCaeth

Of course i know the obvious answer is to be punished for disobeying my Master. 


No, the obvious answer would be for you to stop drinking... no matter what is takes.

(in reply to CaraCaeth)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: A little help, please - 8/21/2008 5:21:02 AM   
Zechriel


Posts: 308
Joined: 11/19/2007
Status: offline 		Good evening,
Seems that the alcohol is taking top priority, Your body and mind cannot giveup control to him because the alcohol is literally changing your chemicals in your body, making your addicted. You already know that once you start, you cannot stop so you should realize that you may be one of those alcoholics that cannot even be buzzed. That you cannot have ANY drinks due to your inability to stop after a few.

Know I know you are getting ticked but please hear me out, my father was an alkie from the time i was born and i took care of him while my mom worked until he died. I also worked hospital security for rehabs so I have heard all the stories and seen all the behaviors.

I think Master has to realize that you cannot drink at all. What concerns me more than the D/s rebellion is the rebellions against common sense. Drinking and driving? if you can realize you are doing that sober then you should be conscious of the fact that one wrong swerve and you can cause another car to veer and crash. You can cause a death and keep driving not even realizing it. And you drink when you see your kids? Are you kidding me? they can smell the alcohol on your breath, they can sense it. They are never to young to be disappointed in you b/c you cannot give them your full attention buzzed. This may be on case where you HAVE to do the whole way...a full 90 days with nothing but AA and counseling. Looks like your life, at least for quite a while, may be devoted to getting your problem worked out and under control. Nothing else will have to matter and yeah it's tough but will it be worth it? Hopefully the answer is yes.

Unfortunately, the choices we make come with consequences, some worse than others. Having dealt with my past daemons, I wish you nothing but luck and goodness in dealing with yours.
Love,
Zechriel 



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Sir HighlanderME's little z

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: A little help, please - 8/21/2008 7:14:17 AM   
AnnaOfAramis


Posts: 523
Joined: 7/30/2008
Status: offline
quote:

figure out whats causing you to drink


I agree 100% with what so many have posted here- the alcohol is usurping your Master. But you also asked another question about what is making you hold back from surrendering to him. Yes, a large part of this is the alcohol. But the quote above makes a good point. There is something in you behind the alcoholism. Surrender doesn't happen (usually) in one big rush... it's a process. The more a girl is with her Master, the more of her he gets to know and the more of her is released to him. I had some issues from my past relationship which left internal scars that held me back on some things...it has taken time and my Master's patience for me to work through them in order to get to where he wants me to be. M/s is always evolving and growing otherwise it would be stagnant and there would be no room for improvement. So, the first thing is, as everyone has told you, to get the alcohol out of your life completely, and then to start working through your inner issues in order to gradually transfer control to your Master.

I wish you well on your road to recovery.

anna

(in reply to MasterHermes)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: A little help, please - 8/21/2008 10:55:43 PM   
sassyslave99


Posts: 1
Joined: 8/11/2008
Status: offline 		It is virtually impossible to surrender something you dn't have - control of yourself.  as many have advised, you need to address the drinking issues immediately, and worry less about the submission than about the gaining some measure of 'ownership' of yourself.  this is not specific to your Master i swould think and He is to be commended for attempting to help - but even as a slave, only YOU can live your life - He can only guide you to help you become the best you can be.   but it is still your responsiblity and no amount of control on His part will substitute for your own self-management.  please get in a program - especially if you are driving drunk - before you kill yourself or someone else.  if you think He will make this 'all better' you are much mistaken - my Master doesn't 'do' anything for me - but enables me to do for myself.  try to deal with this before you hit bottom - attempt it while you have the support around you.  just MHO.  and good luck sass

(in reply to CaraCaeth)
Profile   Post #: 34
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