WayHome
Posts: 237
Joined: 8/4/2004 Status: offline
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This is a great question and I've enjoyed the answers. I am the role that I play. Not to say that BDSM is a game; except that it is, along with all of the rest of life. We all wear costumes every day and play out our little roles on this earth. As a mystic (Lawrence LeShan's definition) I strive to in the world but not of it. To completely embrace and fill the role I have, be it dominant, or therapist, or student, or customer, or martial artist, or tourist, or whatever. Yet all the while be aware from a position above and removed from that role, working to recognize the broader reality. So, as a husband I could assign a percentage. I would say 80% dominant. Last year it would have been 75%. We started out as a vanilla couple with the hippie ideal of 50/50. That didn't work for us very well (does it ever?) and we have shifted more and more each year. In other parts of my life things can be quite different. If I teach physiology, then I'm "in charge" but only feel about 60% dominant as I have a very relaxed and cooperative teaching style. When I taught karate, I would say my role was 99% dominant. Respect was demanded and recieved and I was very strict. But most of my years as a martial artist have involved a lot of submission as well--when I find an instructor from whom I wish to learn I become very respectful and subservient because that is the role and place of the budoka. In my former career, I shared a very unique power dynamic with my clients/patients. On the one hand they had to trust me and allow me to make decisions about their care which involved a lot of submission on their part but at the same time I always emphasized that it was I who worked for them (a concept all too lacking in most American healthcare) and emphasiszed this by presenting myself in a respectful(read submissive) manner. As a college student, I'm never quite submissive enough. I tend to be more dominant than I should be and my grades can suffer as a result (after all, the professors still work for me). So I run the gammut. I suspect a lot of others do as well, thery just don't analyze it as much.
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