RE: can a sadist change his spots (Full Version)

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patina -> RE: can a sadist change his spots (8/14/2008 2:54:14 PM)

I am not stuck in a box, i am willing to expand to match the desires of the persons i am with.  I do not know what this guy and i are going to do we are just talking now.  It may lead to something it may not.  I know nothing about the sadistic side of BDSM I really know very little about any of it.  I am still learning.  I have cognitive processing problems which causes me to sometimes phrase my question in the wrong way.  I do not realize i have done so until way later as i keep seeing it written correctly. 

In another post you told me to go slow and get to know the guy before i did anything with him.  when i had already stated in the post i had told him bye.  Now you say why are you talking to this guy if you are going to play with him?  You guys gives conflicting advice or so it seems. I did not know he was a sadist it was made plain in my profile i am not into that we had talked before about limits so again i had stated i was not into pain.  now out of the blue he admits he is a sadist.  WE have talked about MAYBE meeting sometime.  but he knows i am not positive i have constantly reaffirmned that to him.  He wishes to continue the talking, you talk about just playing for the fun without a care so what is the problem with me doing something.if i so choose

As Master Thadious has said i was wrong to put all Gorean in one lump i should of said the majority of Goreans are not into kink.  And even fewer are sadistic.  I beg forgiveness Master for assuming so much. Maybe i need to return to the Gorean boards as i am learning bad habits and being displeasing to masters and the Free.

patina




softness -> RE: can a sadist change his spots (8/14/2008 3:09:38 PM)

we give conflicting advice because we are all different people ... we don't consult first .. we just say as we find, your thingy may wotsit

*shudders with the thought of us having to ~gulps~ agree*



Thadius -> RE: can a sadist change his spots (8/14/2008 4:09:15 PM)

quote:

As Master Thadious has said i was wrong to put all Gorean in one lump i should of said the majority of Goreans are not into kink.  And even fewer are sadistic.  I beg forgiveness Master for assuming so much. Maybe i need to return to the Gorean boards as i am learning bad habits and being displeasing to masters and the Free.




Well besides spelling my name incorrectly, I am glad you realize that broad generalizations are usually frowned upon (by folks of all walks of life).

Those habits are all your own, do not try to blame them on the wonderful people that post here, although there are a couple that practice the same.  You are teaching yourself to express things the way you wish to express them, changing forums is not going to fix that.

I am going to offer you some advice here in public.  Forget trying to find a man based on labels, find one based on compatibility, it will make the relationship that much more enjoyable for both of you.  I am not sure if you are even aware of what you are asking for when you wish to be the slave of a Gorean.  I read your profile, and some of the limits you have, won't be yours to set.

I wish you well in your search,
Thadius



AtlantisKing111 -> RE: can a sadist change his spots (8/14/2008 5:37:06 PM)

If the only thing he likes is sadism then no he can't change his spots.  However I'm willing to bet that he (like me) enjoys more than just that.  It's not so much trying to change your spots as deciding which ones to indulge in.



IrishMist -> RE: can a sadist change his spots (8/15/2008 4:26:50 AM)

Boy Patina; the posts that you have put here are enought to make me wonder if you should be looking for a relationship of any kind at this time.
At first you say
quote:

  I am not into pain at all. 

Then you go on to say
quote:

  I am not stuck in a box, i am willing to expand to match the desires of the persons i am with.  I

He's a sadist. He enjoys inflicting pain. It's what turns him on [8D]
You do not like pain. You claim you have a high threshold; but you don't like it. It does NOT turn you on.

Can we say highly incompatible here.

Not to mention the fact that you kind of hinted that the only reason you would get together with this guy is because you are lonely and he's close and available. Not a good starting point in trying to build a relationship, don't you think?

And then there's the fact that this whole thread screams that what you are really wanting to do is CHANGE him. Not good girl; not good at all.

My advice. Leave this poor guy alone and find someone who you actually WANT to be with; someone who does not need to be changed; who fits together with you. Instead of trying to find a label to complete you; instead concentrate on finding a person




RCdc -> RE: can a sadist change his spots (8/15/2008 5:31:27 AM)

The reason you get conflicting responses Patina is because you don't give out all the information in one post, just dribs and drabs in tiny pockets of information in many.  You will never get good informed advice if you do not communicate clearly.
And communicating clearly is the issue here.  You are not doing it or at least you are not learning to do it clearly.
 
And I also agree with IM.  You are not only communicating badly, but you are doing so with someone who isn't compatable and who is lonely and needing something stable and not misleading.
As IM said, not good.  Me?  I'll expand on it and call it manipulating.
 
the.dark.



LadyPact -> RE: can a sadist change his spots (8/15/2008 6:36:12 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

When there are so many masos out there,I would wonder why he would compromise.


I would absolutely have to agree with this comment.

Why should anyone settle for anything less than what they really want?



UmbraDomina -> RE: can a sadist change his spots (8/15/2008 8:34:43 AM)

I am a dominant woman, I am also a sadist. When I say sadist it means I enjoy giving pain, I get hot and bothered, and wet between my legs, tieing someone up, and beating them with canes, and rubber floggers, and single tails. I enjoy watching the welts grow on their butts and backs, then trail down their thighs. I love watching a woman or man, sob and tell me how much they love me, throught the hic ups of pain. It's what gets my motor running. With all that being said........ why the fuck would you expect someone ( who is supposedly the dominant partner in the releationship) to give up what they enjoy and what they crave? 
If you don't enjoy it, you have to choices...... get over it, and learn to enjoy it, or move on, find someone who doesn't enjoy giving pain or crave to give it.

Alexandra ~




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