Is there any real Dommes left? (Full Version)

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pet4Mommy -> Is there any real Dommes left? (7/29/2004 7:48:17 PM)

Mistresses please do forgive me to those Dommes of You that are not fakes and or trolls. i seam to be a magnet for trolls and fakes.

why do Dommes if real Dommes ask a slave what they want and what turns them on, and what They can do to please the slave? i know im new and all, but i don't think it takes a lot of brains to figure this one out?

What do the Dommes in this forum feel about a person calling themselves a Domme that asks a slave how they can pleases them?

ok now, think about this please Ma'ams. A Domme is to be served, and not to serve right? and if the slave is to serve and not be served then, why would the Domme then ask the slave what They can do to please them?

im sorry i just don't get this. i have accounts on many adult sites, and i have been interested in BDSM most of my life, but didn't know at the time there were others who felt as i do, and so on. i have read so many so called slave profiles, and subs and so on. and i am shocked that a person calling themselves a slave will go and tell a Domme what they want and how they want it. this makes all slaves look bad, and so called Dommes that also try to please the slave and not Themselves also make other Dommes look bad. i find this a lot more on yahoo, and paltalk, seems to be popular on bondage site too. there are a few here, not as bad. but i have gotten messages from about 32 Dommes so far and this is a new profile. my other one was Desires2BeOwned before.

please everyone feel free to comment on this, life is a learning experience, and i wish to learn. but im not into play or fake Bondage.

Thank You Dommes for Your time.

- slave

===============
!!!READ THIS!!!
===============



Dom, Domme: A Dominant Male or female person - the person in charge/control (also referred to as a Top)

So now when a Domme sends me a message please read the above, and think before You ask what my limits are, and what i want.

Submissive (sub): A person who gives the control to another person (Dom/me, Top)

This is not what i am, or ever will be. so therefore to ask me my limits and wants is kind of retarted dont You agree?

Slave: A person who gives the control to another person (Dom/me, Top) Sometimes used the same way as the term sub, some ppl distinguish a sub from a slave by pointing out that a slave doesn't have the possibility to chose her/his destiny.

BINGO! this is me, wow look no choices. yep, now if You are going to ask me my limits and or what i want, ill block You. Be real or dont bother. i hate nothing more then liars and fakes!



SherriA -> RE: Is there any real Dommes left? (7/29/2004 8:01:48 PM)

It seems pretty clear to me. If both people in the relationship aren't getting their needs met, then the relationship isn't going to last. A responsible partner in either (or neither) role is going to be concerned about what those needs are in order to make sure they're fulfilled (assuming s/he wants to maintain the relationship, of course).

Besides, a happy partner is much more likely to be enjoyable to be around.

How does making your partner happy mean you're not dominant? If that's what the dominant partner WANTS to do, then why shouldn't s/he?

As much as it might be a nice fantasy for some people to dream about being totally "used" with no regard for their personal wants/needs, in reality that's likely going to be death for a relationship before long.



pet4Mommy -> RE: Is there any real Dommes left? (7/29/2004 8:12:35 PM)

Thank You SherriA Maam, for Your responce and yes i see Your point Maam. but for me, i have clearly stated in my profile that i am only in search for a Domme that desires a 100% slaves, and for me that is not a fantacy. i could be trained to work on a farm or even be used to make web sites or programs for a Domme if that was Their choice. or i could be trained to clean, or cook or whatever else the Domme chose as my place. i am not looking for sex, if i wanted just sex its not so hard to find. sadly enough its very easy. Please Ma'am dont take offence to my post, everyone has their thoughts. and i am glad to be able to see from everyones point of view. again thank You very much SherriA Maam.

- slave



LadyBeckett -> RE: Is there any real Dommes left? (7/29/2004 8:26:08 PM)

I have a dog. She is an Austrailian Dingo. If I put my hand to my shoulder, no matter where she is in proximity to me, she will sit. Right then, and without hesitation. She loves me, respects me, and obeys me. If I am in danger, she will give her life to defend/protect me. She's a dog. A very powerful and intelligent dog, but still a dog. During our time together (I've had her since she was five weeks old), she learned what I expected from her, as well as my different moods, etc. I've learned her's also, and during our "training", she learned what she can expect from me. I know what her favorite "treats" are, and her "spot" that I can scratch and make her go "ahhhhhhhhhhh". lol We have a relationship that involves time, trust, communication, and love. Why would I offer less than that to a human being in my life?

If you are seeking a "relationship", then you are probably going to have to bust down some of those definition barriers, and open up on some realistic communication. If a potential Domme is asking you about you, what makes you tick, what your relationship goals are, that doesn't make her a "fake" or a "liar". She's doing what she's supposed to do.

I don't recall asking my subs "What can I do to please you?", but we communicate openly and honestly within the relationship. Speaking of "relationship", I didn't see your definition for that. Got one?



MistressDREAD -> RE: Is there any real Dommes left? (7/29/2004 8:39:01 PM)


pet tell Me what your slave training intailed?
whom Owned you allready and were you
given your malumation papers and currently
free? Be sure to bow down and kiss My feet
in word and ask My permission to speak to Me
befor doiing so here and befor answering any
of the above and address Me as MistressDREAD
not Ma'am Not Miss not Domme. Youll not get
any pity party from Me here either so stop your
whinning and start showing the Dominants here
what slave skills you actually posess. Ive not seen
any yet, oh yes and one more thing. No one here
is a fake All are here to be what they want to be.
If what they want to be does not fit into your idea of
right we all have the option to move on and continue
to search..



pet4Mommy -> RE: Is there any real Dommes left? (7/29/2004 8:57:17 PM)

well Ma am, to be honest im not looking for a relationship. and 2nd im not saying that is all Dommes ask a sub/slave what they desire or want that that will mean They are a fake. but i know for a fact that the few that have send me messages were in fact fakes, and trolls. i will not give out names, but i don't think that a Real Domme will ask a slave if they like to use Her, and then ask for a large sum of money. this has happened here at CollarMe.com, but i didn't add that in this post because i wanted to see the view of all Dommes. i rather enjoyed reading your story about your dog. and yes, i know what a relationship is. it is a bond between two people that love one another, and they both share their thoughts and feelings, and will do what ever it takes to please each other. what ever my reasons may be for feeling as i do, i am in no way seeking a relationship of any kind other then to be a servant. many may think of me as foolish, but no 2 people on the face of this earth are the same, and that's what makes each of us special. i believe everyone has a purpus, and a reason, and i don't hate anyone, but i think if someone does something, and they believe in something that they should hold on to it, and never let go. i am a realist, i go all the way or not at all.

Thank You for Your reply Ma'am..

- slave


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyBeckett

I don't recall asking my subs "What can I do to please you?", but we communicate openly and honestly within the relationship. Speaking of "relationship", I didn't see your definition for that. Got one?



pet4Mommy -> RE: Is there any real Dommes left? (7/29/2004 9:08:48 PM)

MistressDread i am sorry that You have taken offence to my post. but You did not message me, therefore i really don't see why You are being so rude about this. for one You didn't receive the messages, and two You don't know the whole story, and if You take offence to this then maybe You Yourself have something to hide, or maybe even You are ashamed?

i don't control Your thoughts and feelings, and the same You don't control me, at this time im a free slave until i find a Domme that is interested. and i know a lot of damn good ones on Bongade . com, and i will have You know, i am not here to bash Dommes, and if You took it that way, that is on You not me. Maybe You should be a bit more open minded, and not so judging, i just made a post, and im not breaking any rules.

to anyone else that is offended for what ever reasons, i am not posting to bash DOMMES!

and notice i ask for every ones thoughts? no instead everyone decides to make this into a dispute. i would have expected more from You MistressDread.... You have posted to my posts in the past "Desires2BeOened", and You were very nice to me, i am very sorry that You have taken offence to my post. but You have a right to think and feel as You so desire.

- slave



SherriA -> RE: Is there any real Dommes left? (7/29/2004 9:27:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pet4Mommy
but for me, i have clearly stated in my profile that i am only in search for a Domme that desires a 100% slaves, and for me that is not a fantacy.


100% slaves (whatever that is) still have needs. Yours might be to provide service. That's still a need, and a good partner will need to know that in order for the relationship to work. Especially in the early stages of a relationship (and not all relationships are about love, ftr), it's unreasonable to expect anyone, dominant or submissive, to be a mindreader. If you can't communicate then I'd say you'll likely have difficulty maintaining any significant relationships.

What it sounds like, to me, is that you have some mental fantasy image of what a dominant woman should be like. But I have to ask...have you ever really had this type of relationship? It's not reasonable to expect someone to be "on" every minute of every day. It's hard work, and everyone needs some down time occasionally. If you aren't willing to do your part, by communicating and giving her the information she needs, then how are you contributing to the relationship?

Ultimately, what I said in my first post still holds true. It's in the domina's best interests to meet the slave's needs and at least some of his wants. Otherwise she's going to have an unhappy slave on her hands and that's just more work for her. People don't stay in relationships where their needs aren't being met (and again, a need to serve is still a *need*). It's your responsibility to honestly communicate with your partner, and if you refuse to do that, or denigrate her for asking reasonable questions, then I'd say you're doomed to failure.

Anyway, I wasn't offended by your post. I simply think you're not being realistic. Dominas are people...women...not robots or cardboard cutouts.

Oh, and btw, no need for the "ma'am". I don't like unearned honourifics. Just Sherri is just fine.



Sinergy -> RE: Is there any real Dommes left? (7/29/2004 10:22:59 PM)

quote:

Thank You SherriA Maam, for Your responce and yes i see Your point Maam. but for me, i have clearly stated in my profile that i am only in search for a Domme that desires a 100% slaves, and for me that is not a fantacy. i could be trained to work on a farm or even be used to make web sites or programs for a Domme if that was Their choice. or i could be trained to clean, or cook or whatever else the Domme chose as my place. i am not looking for sex, if i wanted just sex its not so hard to find. sadly enough its very easy. Please Ma'am dont take offence to my post, everyone has their thoughts. and i am glad to be able to see from everyones point of view. again thank You very much SherriA Maam.


pet4Mommy,

Pardon me for intruding my opinion when you are addressing the Domme/Mistresses, but I would like to give you an example about slavery from this history of involuntary slavery and indentured servitude as practiced at one point or another throughout most of human history.

Take the hypothetical of a slaveowner owning a slave. The slaveowner went out and paid money that person earned for this slave and brought it home. The slaveowner would have certain expectations of things which were required to be done by the slave. On the other hand, the slaveowner would take care of this slave to ensure that they realized their initial investment. In this sense, the slaveowner is going to make damn sure they do what is required to care for their slave. Sure, the slave is a slave, and can be beaten to death, but that is pouring money down the sewer. An intelligent property owner cares for their chattel.

When a potential Mistress contacts you or peruses your profile, you may take it as an insult when they ask you what your needs are, but unlike, say, a horse, you are a human being with language skills. They can ask you what your needs are, and unlike a horse, you can tell them. They can go the long route and figure it out as they go, but sometimes it is easier to just ask.

Perhaps the problem is that your immediately being outraged and/or blocking them if they ask the question is perceived as you demanding (topping from the bottom) that they research the "Care and Feeding of Slaves" on their own and getting back to you with their results.

I wish you luck in your endeavors, but just felt the need to throw out my opinion.

Regards,

Sinergy



Thanatosian -> RE: Is there any real Dommes left? (7/29/2004 11:08:19 PM)

quote:

ok now, think about this please Ma'ams. A Domme is to be served, and not to serve right? and if the slave is to serve and not be served then, why would the Domme then ask the slave what They can do to please them? (emphasis added by Thanatosian)


I find your post to be somewhat hypocritical - you are, in my perception, here ranting about Dommes serving the subs by asking them their likes, limits, what turns them on, etc. but you expect them to serve you by obeying your post here and not ask you any of those questions.

Wouldn't a "real" slave (as you self identify) leave the choice of asking whatever questions she feels pertinent to the Domme?????? just a point you may want to ponder.



Sundew02 -> RE: Is there any real Dommes left? (7/29/2004 11:52:11 PM)

pet, you asked for Dommes to give their opinion, here is mine. As there are thousands of people involved in the BDSM life style there are thousands of different definitions of every term used in this life style. When I have D/s friends at my house and want to start an all out heated "discussion" all I have to say is, "so whats a definition of a slave", or Dominant, or any of a hundred other d/s labels. I believe you are being a bit too black and white. All of life is full of variety. As you stated yourself, no two people are the same. Yes, I have a profile up that I am looking for a slave. BUT my concept of a slave is one that can fit into my life totally. If I want to go swimming he goes, if I want my toilet cleaned, it's done. The hard part is finding a male whose definition of slave matches mine. Now, you said many or all of the queries you have had are from Dominant females (not your definition of a dominant) wanting to know what pleases you. And this upsets you, then by all means, just say no thank you and keep searching. As we all are searching for our own definition of perfection, or as close to it as we can get. My profile clearly states I am seeking a slave, but I still get emails from submissives. That for me is not a problem, I have a goal, but I intend to throughly enjoy getting to that goal. You are 29 years old, you have the time. Relax, maybe not today, or tomorrow, but if you remain patient(a very necessary trait for a slave) you will find what you seek. Sundew



MistressVivianCA -> RE: Is there any real Dommes left? (7/30/2004 1:16:40 AM)

In interviewing potential submissives over the past few months I have run into a few who seemed to share your opinion pet. I found them to be rude, arrogant, demanding, and felt they were trying to top from the bottom as they smugly informed me that true dommes only give declarative statements of what they expect and should never ask any questions.

I must have been napping in domme 101 when they pointed to the rules for true dommes that you hold so dear. Funny thing, I don't feel I need to submit to the expectations of slaves to be real.

As to your statement that you are not seeking a relationship, in the broadest sense of the word, all human interactions are relationships of one kind or another.

I am sure you have had some responses from scammers and fakes, particularly those asking for money. It is an unfortunate reality of the internet. But I would urge you to reconsider lumping every dominant who tries to find out something about your personality and what makes you tick in with them.

Best wishes, Vivian



iwillserveu -> RE: Is there any real Dommes left? (7/30/2004 3:24:45 AM)

On what Lady Beckett says, having a mostly blank profile does not aid initial communication.

Oh, yes, there is real Dommes (or Domina, or Domettes, whatever[:)]) left.



iwillserveu -> RE: Is there any real Dommes left? (7/30/2004 3:27:38 AM)

quote:

MistressDread i am sorry that You have taken offence to my post

Relax. It is far too easy to upset Dread. (That is not an insult for Dread. Heck, I bet she agrees.[:)])

I think she may have a point about rexamining yourself. If she doesn't, so? Is the unexamined life worth living anyway?

There is also the differing views of "slave" versus "submissive". I figure a slave is somebody who always does what he/she is told by his/her master/Mistress. That is not a 100% view. Differing people will assume as a slave you are not accorded the the usual courtesy given to a human being even if you are not theirs. I'd suggest capitilizing "I" and call yourself a submissive or deal forever with that. You don't have to change who you are, just what others call you.



iwillserveu -> RE: Is there any real Dommes left? (7/30/2004 3:32:40 AM)

Thanatosian,

Good point. I had not thought about the orignal post being based on a hypocritical assumption.

Pet4mommy,

I think you need to define what you mean by "slave" as well. (Be ready for everyone to disagree with that one!)



iwillserveu -> RE: Is there any real Dommes left? (7/30/2004 3:36:11 AM)

quote:

I must have been napping in domme 101 when they pointed to the rules for true dommes


I bet you missed the course on ESP too![:)]

Gee, a Domina that can't read minds. <<horror>>[&:]



MistressDREAD -> RE: Is there any real Dommes left? (7/30/2004 7:52:10 AM)

rude ??

I was making a request of a so called slave!

maybe You are a fake slave?


Im sure those here were getting My drift knowing how I work.

and your words after Mine are sure not like any slaves words I know LOL!

you need to redefine just WHAT you are

JMO I think I have made My point quite clear.....................walks away..........



LadyAngelika -> RE: Is there any real Dommes left? (7/30/2004 10:56:41 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDREAD
I was making a request of a so called slave!

maybe You are a fake slave?

Im sure those here were getting My drift knowing how I work.



Yes and I saw right away what you were doing Dread. Brilliance.

You treated him exactly like he requested to be treated and he back peddled into his own little corner where he shall probably stay for a very long long time until he undergoes some kind of attitude adjustment.


quote:

ORIGINAL: pet4Mommy (from original post)
why do Dommes if real Dommes ask a slave what they want and what turns them on, and what They can do to please the slave? i know im new and all, but i don't think it takes a lot of brains to figure this one out?


quote:

ORIGINAL: pet4Mommy (from original post)
and 2nd im not saying that is all Dommes ask a sub/slave what they desire or want that that will mean They are a fake


Contradiction much boy?

Ever here of something called an informed decision? I want to know everything about my submissive. What she/he likes, dislikes, fears, craves for, thinks, etc. Then I decide what she/he gets. I don’t cater to my submissives but I will do a better job as a Domme if I understand them.

And btw, Thanatosian hit the nail right on the head. What a little hypocrite you are saying that if a Domme asks you what she wants, she’s not a real domme but here you take up a whole thread to tell us what you want.

Back in your corner pet4Mommy, suck your thumb and ponder your actions.

- LA



LadyBeckett -> RE: Is there any real Dommes left? (7/30/2004 2:38:29 PM)

quote:

i am a realist, i go all the way or not at all.


If that is in fact true, petforMommy, then it appears you've come to the right place as you proceed toward that goal.

If you read everything that has been posted in response to your original post, then you will have learned a valuable lesson here, in addition to gaining some invaluable information.

Good luck.



MistressZanthia -> RE: Is there any real Dommes left? (7/30/2004 6:00:31 PM)

OOOH A 100% SLAVE!!! WOW!!! Those are soooo rare!!! I want!!!

I love those. Okay boy, since you asked for it. Go liquidate all your assets, empty your bank account and get a cashier's check for it all in my name and get yourself a bus ticket to my city and hitch a ride to my house. Oh and be ready to work, I have 8 acres needing fenced and a barn to be mucked out. Oh and the cow needs milking twice a day. Think you can handle that for starters? Good, because there's more.

You can sleep in the barn with the animals and I'll be sure to ask my local grocer for his spoilage (veggies and things too old to sell) in order to be able to feed you cheaply enough to warrant keeping you around. And then if I deem you worthy, maybe you'll be allowed inside the house for housekeeping training. You'll still eat off the floor and sleep in the barn shackled however. As I really don't have any personal chores I'd consider you worthy of. Isn't that sexy? Sure is, you get to serve a Goddess, but note, in her way only.

And as long as you continue to slave for me we'll be perfectly happy... oh what's that I hear? Is that a slave talking back to his Mistress? Is that a slave expecting something? Is that a slave wanting to be sexually gratified? I bet it is... not very romantic or sexy is it? Ah, but you wanted to be a slave, oh, you thought you'd be a "sex slave"? Sorry, I have a submissive I adore for those purposes.

I think you'll find in your search boy, that women generally don't "need" sex slaves, submissives are generally fine for those purposes. Odd though how the male mind romantisizes slavery... until it really is slavery.[;)]



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