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A passion that can lasts a lifetime? - 8/17/2008 6:48:28 AM   
lusciouslips19


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Status: offline 		I left a passionless marriage. I really did not think it was possible to have a relationship where the passion did not eventually dwindle. So My question to you is

Do you think its possible to find a passion that can last a lifetime or does the sexual part always have to become faded and sort of mundane. Do BDSM relatioships become mundane also and sort of turn vanilla?

( I eventually after 4 years have formulated my answer but I would like to hear yours?)

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RE: A passion that can lasts a lifetime? - 8/17/2008 6:53:37 AM   
sirsholly


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Status: offline 		i believe in the beginning of a relationship there is lust. We always lust after what we do not have, and at that point there is no commitment in the relationship so the partners do not "have" each other.

Lust will fade in time, but hopefully love and passion will  remain.


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RE: A passion that can lasts a lifetime? - 8/17/2008 6:56:36 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		A friend told me about an article he read. I wish I could remember....

Basically I was told a quote

"Habit is the enemy of passion."

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RE: A passion that can lasts a lifetime? - 8/17/2008 7:07:53 AM   
Level


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

Lust will fade in time, but hopefully love and passion will  remain.



I tend to agree with the picked upon one here.

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Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

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RE: A passion that can lasts a lifetime? - 8/17/2008 7:44:44 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		It is my brother and sister-in-law's 28th anniversary today.  I spent some time with them last week, and they are still passionately, intimately in love.  They amaze me.   Yes, I believe passion can last a lifetime, but I think it is rare when it does.

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RE: A passion that can lasts a lifetime? - 8/17/2008 7:53:04 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		So anyone here think that BDSM and the creative roleplay and intensity it creates is your best chance to lasting passion???

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Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

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RE: A passion that can lasts a lifetime? - 8/17/2008 8:01:12 AM   
Quivver


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Status: offline 		" Habbit is the enemy of passion " ....  isnt knowing that half the battle?  

with that said, I cant say that I've accomplished it `yet` in my lifetime either. 
but it's a damn worthy goal! 


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RE: A passion that can lasts a lifetime? - 8/17/2008 8:08:23 AM   
Quivver


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

So anyone here think that BDSM and the creative roleplay and intensity it creates is your best chance to lasting passion???


Best chance?  I dont play numbers, so `best` chance isnt something I'd want to put too much stock in. 
Although, I do believe that what we do is a tool that can create the ability to form a lasting passion. 
Either way it takes work on both sides with a matching goal as the end result. 
(something my nilla marriage failed at miserably)


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RE: A passion that can lasts a lifetime? - 8/17/2008 8:11:04 AM   
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

So anyone here think that BDSM and the creative roleplay and intensity it creates is your best chance to lasting passion???


It's possible that it can  help, as can anything that allows us to get at our inner core, our true self.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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RE: A passion that can lasts a lifetime? - 8/17/2008 8:16:49 AM   
beargonewild


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

I left a passionless marriage. I really did not think it was possible to have a relationship where the passion did not eventually dwindle. So My question to you is

Do you think its possible to find a passion that can last a lifetime or does the sexual part always have to become faded and sort of mundane. Do BDSM relationships become mundane also and sort of turn vanilla?

( I eventually after 4 years have formulated my answer but I would like to hear yours?)


As of yet, I haven't found this to exist. At this point in my life, I've found I've become a mite cynical in finding a lifetime of passion whether in a BDSM or vanilla relationship.


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RE: A passion that can lasts a lifetime? - 8/17/2008 8:20:15 AM   
NuevaVida


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

So anyone here think that BDSM and the creative roleplay and intensity it creates is your best chance to lasting passion???


I believe the best chance at lasting passion between two or more people is whatever way they can best express themselves - intimately, sexually, enjoyable - whatever i t is.  For some it is D/s and/or BDSM.  For others it is something different.  I'm pretty intense and passionate in all I do, when it is something I love or for someone I love.  In my last relationship, BDSM and the M/s dynamic fed more passion in me than I had experienced before. 

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RE: A passion that can lasts a lifetime? - 8/17/2008 9:30:00 AM   
LadyHibiscus


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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I got nothing here.  I like to THINK that growing intimacy can foster a long term passion, though I suspect that passion will take other forms than the sexual. 

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RE: A passion that can lasts a lifetime? - 8/17/2008 9:45:09 AM   
Aylee


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Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline 		Just my two-cents. . .

I think that a passion that last a lifetime between two people has to start with the individual.  As an individual person, you need to keep growing in your self.  You cannot just coast and become a stagnant person.  If you are not interested in something outside yourself and your relationship, how do you figure that you can keep the interest in the relationship.  Read a book, join a class, take up a hobby.  Something to broaden the scope of your horizons. 

Another thought is that people that are not comfortable with themselves and being by themselves, jump into relationships thinking that it is a cure.  This is not true.  You have to like yourself, be passionate about yourself, before anyone else is going to have that feeling about you. 

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING SINGLE! 

Well, perhaps this made sense. 

But I could be wrong.

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RE: A passion that can last a lifetime? - 8/17/2008 10:04:50 AM   
sunshinemiss


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Status: offline 		Hi Lushy,
I think passion takes work.  People are lazy.

You gotta be willing to do the work.

hugs,
sunshine

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RE: A passion that can last a lifetime? - 8/17/2008 10:56:12 AM   
cravesdom


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Joined: 3/28/2008
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I absolutely believe that passion can last a lifetime. I know that it is not something that happens every day though. It requires that both parties are willing to work at keeping the relationship fresh and not slip into habits that although fun the first few times end up becoming routine and passionless. It also requires that both people love and understand not only each other, but themselves. They need to challenge themselves and find the joy and passion in life as well as with each other.

I definitely think that BDSM can help keep things from becoming routine. There are so many more activities and experiences available in a BDSM relationship than there are in some other relationships. But even in a BDSM relationship if you slip into doing the same things over and over in the same order, it will become routine too! When I know exactly how long and with what instruments I am going to be spanked before it even happens then I lose some of the passion and joy for the experience!

I think this was a very interesting question and one I have asked myself in the past when a relationship that started out so well seemed to lose it's appeal to me for whatever reason.

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RE: A passion that can last a lifetime? - 8/17/2008 5:43:27 PM   
stormgirl


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From: tennessee
Status: offline 		I feel passion can last in a relationship.  Whether BDSM or otherwise, as long as folks are having Fun and finding new things to enjoy - alone and together.  I would guess that intimacy and fun generate passion.

Would I know though?  No I would not.


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RE: A passion that can last a lifetime? - 8/17/2008 7:27:51 PM   
impishlilhellcat


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Status: offline 		I've seen the passion and love dwindle and I've seen it still be there after many many years. The ones that have the passion and love they work and they work hard every day to make it work. They get creative, improvise and laugh. It hasn't been easy for them, they have their weak moments and they struggle, but they stick together and they find a philosophy that works for them. I think it has to be a combination of hard work and a good fit... just my opinion.

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RE: A passion that can last a lifetime? - 8/17/2008 8:05:08 PM   
SunNMoon


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Status: offline 		I like to think it's possible. My Mom and Dad are almost to 40 years of marriage. I like to believe that they still have passion in their relationship. I'm also going to be honest and say I have no idea if they are BDSM or ds or what not but they seem happy and still in love. They work as a team and spend time together (more so now since both me and my sister can take care of oursleves). I guess I'm just planning on using them as a role model for me.

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RE: A passion that can last a lifetime? - 8/17/2008 8:08:03 PM   
AquaticSub


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I believe it can but it takes effort to not let it die. Everyone has to be willing to put in that effort so if one person isn't willing to work than it dies.

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RE: A passion that can last a lifetime? - 8/17/2008 10:04:45 PM   
PanthersMom


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From: Cleveland Ohio
Status: offline 		passion can last.  but it does require effort to keep it alive.  i believe it changes, just like the feelings a long term couple experience.  it's more a passion based on knowing that person well, loving them completely, no holds barred, and wanting to enjoy that person and share yourself with them.  there's no holding back, hiding behind false pretenses, any of that dating crap.  it's not the passion that you feel in the beginning of a relationship, it's much better!
PM

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