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how long do you talk online before meeting in person - 11/21/2005 5:13:09 PM

Ladymichelle

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is there a time limit for when a Mistress and sub meeting for the first time? also how important is a meeting in person prior to a sub moving to be with there Mistress?

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RE: how long do you talk online before meeting in person - 11/21/2005 5:23:00 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Ladymichelle

is there a time limit for when a Mistress and sub meeting for the first time? also how important is a meeting in person prior to a sub moving to be with there Mistress?

However long is as long as you are comfortable with. I say the sooner the better.

And yeah I'd want to meet someone before I moved in with them as their slave.

What time frame do you usually set for meeting an online contact?

(in reply to Ladymichelle)

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RE: how long do you talk online before meeting in person - 11/21/2005 5:24:19 PM

jamesthehumanrug

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mistress michelle

greetings ,with your permission ,to speak:
it is all ,up ,to the top ;bottom has ,to be always ready ,to go home dissappointed ,if ,at all....how long does fame and fortune take,the same as being asked by the right one
what meeting ;the minute you make an appearance- the slave goes,
no choice is there,
if you agree, to be a sold ,or bot ,or 24/7 slave?(if genuine parties are a given)like is it real gold and do you take it
all up to you goddess

< Message edited by jamesthehumanrug -- 11/21/2005 5:29:59 PM >

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RE: how long do you talk online before meeting in person - 11/21/2005 5:47:21 PM

Dom2Care4You

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Well... a line that comes to mind: Is the movie better than the book! The book is always good and having the movie live up to expectations is difficult. So in person meetings set up like dates are really the preferred way to go. You must fel comfortable with each other before setting up house or you may not get what you truly thought you were...

In any event...It is up to the Dom/Domme to decide and when it is time, do it without hesitation or reservation. Almost all humble submissives will go willing and excitedly at this time!

(in reply to jamesthehumanrug)

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RE: how long do you talk online before meeting in person - 11/21/2005 5:50:48 PM

girl4you2

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Edited:

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
And yeah I'd want to meet someone before I moved in with them as their slave.

might be a wise thing to do.

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RE: how long do you talk online before meeting in person - 11/21/2005 5:58:49 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dom2Care4You
In any event...It is up to the Dom/Domme to decide and when it is time, do it without hesitation or reservation. Almost all humble submissives will go willing and excitedly at this time!

OK this is only true if you're already IN a relationship with eachother.

Otherwise each person has to decide for themselves. I may be a humble excited slave, but if I am not owned, it's up to me who I meet and when, with no regrets.

(in reply to Dom2Care4You)

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RE: how long do you talk online before meeting in person - 11/21/2005 6:35:21 PM

Rover

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As to your first question, I'm always for meeting (safely, in a public venue) sooner rather than later. I don't see the point in wasting time by dragging out some sort of computer/telephone saga with someone who:

1. I don't have any "chemistry" with in each other's company.

2. Has no intention of ever meeting real time (ie: they're in it for the fantasy, not the reality).

3. Has lied about themselves, in some bizarre hope that you'll overlook the fact upon actually meeting.

As to your second question, please allow me several minutes to find the duct tape. I need to adequately wrap my head so the coroner can find all the pieces after it explodes with the thought that anyone would move across country (or across town, for that matter) to live with someone they've never met. This isn't a lifestyle issue, it's a common sense issue (though I've often said that people turn off their reasoning minds when they turn on the computer).

John

(in reply to Ladymichelle)

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RE: how long do you talk online before meeting in person - 11/21/2005 6:41:11 PM

LadyHibiscus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

As to your first question, I'm always for meeting (safely, in a public venue) sooner rather than later. I don't see the point in wasting time by dragging out some sort of computer/telephone saga with someone who:

1. I don't have any "chemistry" with in each other's company.

2. Has no intention of ever meeting real time (ie: they're in it for the fantasy, not the reality).

3. Has lied about themselves, in some bizarre hope that you'll overlook the fact upon actually meeting.

As to your second question, please allow me several minutes to find the duct tape. I need to adequately wrap my head so the coroner can find all the pieces after it explodes with the thought that anyone would move across country (or across town, for that matter) to live with someone they've never met. This isn't a lifestyle issue, it's a common sense issue (though I've often said that people turn off their reasoning minds when they turn on the computer).

John

THANK YOU for that entire post!

Don't get me wrong---I have done the telephone sagas (and had more than one come off quite well) and I have indeed flown across country to VISIT someone that I only knew via phone and mail, but MOVE? Oy.

It's so easy to fall in love on the phone.......and a lot of the time, it's as real as such things get. But there is no substitute for being in the room with the person, and seeing how those chemicals actually percolate. As soon as possible.

Ms Francine

(in reply to Rover)

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RE: how long do you talk online before meeting in person - 11/21/2005 6:53:17 PM

EnigmaticElf

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For the first part, all I can say is that your mileage will vary. Some people I know of have met their partners online quite successfully, met quickly or after a long time, and had a good relationship. Personally, I don't even consider myself to be in a relationship at all unless there has already been at least one in-person meeting, with plenty of time to interact. I am amenable to having friends online, and to communicating online with long distance partners, but the meeting is a necessary step before anything else.

For the second? I think I have to agree with Rover, above. I would never consider moving in with someone I had never met. Even (or perhaps especially) if he was the perfect Master in the whole world.

(in reply to Ladymichelle)

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RE: how long do you talk online before meeting in person - 11/21/2005 6:55:53 PM

girl4you2

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Edited:

quote:

ORIGINAL: EnigmaticElf

For the second? I think I have to agree with Rover, above. I would never consider moving in with someone I had never met. Even (or perhaps especially) if he was the perfect Master in the whole world.

seems kinda risky, huh? or something like that.

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RE: how long do you talk online before meeting in person - 11/21/2005 11:12:24 PM

MeryKitsune

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I'll preface this by saying I am not the most trusting person in the world.

I prefer getting to know someone before meeting them IRL... regardless of the situation. It doesn't matter if I'm the Mistress or the slave, but I have to know them very well before I even consider it.

Heck, I still have online friends that I haven't met in person.

(in reply to girl4you2)

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RE: how long do you talk online before meeting in person - 11/21/2005 11:27:20 PM

truesub4u

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I have to agee with rover on this....actually with most of the responses... meeting someone from on line is too risky.... so i think it wise to get to know more on line... and via phone.. before attempting a real meeting... and always keep it very public. .... be sure to let someone know what's up....

i'm chatting with a "Friend" in texas... and we've been corresponding for about 4 months right now... and just tonight, we discussed using the phone...it's all in how both feel about being comfortable with the situation. .... and i think.. ( uh oh.. another with a opinion.. look out).... anyone that tries to rush you when you express the fact you are not quite comfortable to... is someone to look twice at. use the internet to your advantage, with the right information, do a back ground check on them ... make sure they're being up front about things you feel are a little off... (criminal, is a great place to start)

Good luck.. and Bless A/all

(in reply to MeryKitsune)

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RE: how long do you talk online before meeting in person - 11/22/2005 1:10:53 AM

brightspot

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quote:

However long is as long as you are comfortable with. I say the sooner the better.

I have to disagree with the "sooner the better" statement from Lucky.

I met my Domina and we talked on-line and the phone for 3 months before we talked of meeting in person, it was 5 months before we decided She would come and get me to go stay with Her.
The first ime I stayed a week, the second time two weeks, and the third a month, I am about to embark on going for the Holidays...First weekend of Dec. to maybe after Valentines Day.
We have slowly and purposefully taken our interest in each other step by step, trust by trusting and it is working great and we are now talking about our furure together.

Maybe "sooner the better" works sometimes. But step by step over time worked really well for me and my Honey Girl.

*Brightspot

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(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: how long do you talk online before meeting in person - 11/22/2005 2:43:10 AM

sweetpettjenny

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i personally feel its best to meet at least as soon as you can. Lots of ideals are met just by meeting.
1. The person is who they say they are
2. you are /not compatible
3. you don't build a fairy tail image by having too long of a online drama with them, there are no false expectations, it is is or isn't.

(in reply to Ladymichelle)

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RE: how long do you talk online before meeting in person - 11/22/2005 5:03:39 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: brightspot
Maybe "sooner the better" works sometimes. But step by step over time worked really well for me and my Honey Girl

I think people should MEET the sooner the better. The decision to get into a relationship should take step by step over time.

But if you want to get into a real life relationship with someone, IMO it's best to start that sooner rather than extend the online/phone section and develop false expectations.

Get busy living.

(in reply to brightspot)

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RE: how long do you talk online before meeting in person - 11/22/2005 5:07:26 AM

fyreredsub

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i'm sure first time meetings and the people involved all have different reasons for what time frame works best for them.

i would suggest first meeting be in a public place w/ safe calls etc all in place.

now w/ that stated to relocating,there is many things to consider. i would wait at least 6 mo to a year before chanign my life in that much of a fashion , assuming you were involved R/T during this time.....(but i have a considerable amount of obligations and ties to the area i am in that can't just be broken.)

what works best for one doesn't all ways work best for others.

speak to your owner

< Message edited by fyreredsub -- 11/22/2005 5:08:56 AM >

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RE: how long do you talk online before meeting in person - 11/22/2005 5:21:47 AM

IrishMist

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Same here. I am a very cautious person, and shy to boot ( I get all tongue tied when trying to talk to someone in person, yuck), so I take my time and go very slowly.

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RE: how long do you talk online before meeting in person - 11/22/2005 5:34:08 AM

justatoy2

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i agree that people should meet the sooner the better. What one feels on the phone, or through a computer could be totally different when you are actually face to face. And lets face it, people are not always what they portray themselves to be. When i met my current Dom it was 5 days after we first corresponded through here. That is much quicker than i usually like, but he asked to meet me, and i just went for it. And the thing i realized, we didn't spend months and months getting to know each other only to find the chemistry just isn't there...(have had that happen..ouch).

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RE: how long do you talk online before meeting in person - 11/22/2005 6:03:09 AM

MsSonnetMarwood

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quote:

Same here. I am a very cautious person, and shy to boot ( I get all tongue tied when trying to talk to someone in person, yuck), so I take my time and go very slowly.

I am all for taking your time getting to know one another. I think, however, online/phone is NOT the medium to do so - it really needs to be face to face.

Personally, I have about a one month period that I will talk to someone online & on the phone before I meet them, just for coffee or lunch. I really do not care to draw it out any longer than that.

I'm not even going to bother to rant about how ridiculous I think it would be to move in with someone you had never met.

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RE: how long do you talk online before meeting in person - 11/22/2005 12:29:43 PM

slavejali

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Master and i spoke for 11 months online before meeting. There were a few valid reasons why we waited so long.
1. We lived 14,000 miles away from each other. This being so, we didnt want to spend thousands of dollars on meeting someone we didnt think there was a really high potential of being compatable with, this takes time to know and a great deal of honesty.
2. We had an agreed time-frame set in place for meeting to allow me to grieve for my husband who i had just lost prior to joining internet chats.

i think common sense rules in regards to meeting someone from online. If say Master lived around the corner or even a few hours away, waiting 11 months would be ludicrous.

(in reply to Ladymichelle)

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