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Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/17/2008 2:18:23 PM

Sandyshores29718

Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline

For personal beliefs I will not call my Dom Master. It is in no way shape or form disrespect. Just how I was raised and my beliefs. What I want to know from some of the Dom/mes is how would you take that? Would you feel as if it was disrespectful or would you understand and respect that?

I am not collared, but in a relationship with a Dom and he knows my personal feelings and understands and doesnt care that I dont call him Master. I mostly call him by his given name, but there are times I call him Sir. I just wanted to get some others thoughts on the matter.

Post #: 1

RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/17/2008 2:24:20 PM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

i don't call Daddy master - He doesn't want to be called by that title.

there's no uniform, by-the-book way of doing things ...that's the beauty of being kinky - you can make it up however it pertains to your relationship.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to Sandyshores29718)

Post #: 2

RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/17/2008 2:27:47 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

As always, everyone's different. My way of things would be to work out exactly the reasoning behind that choice and decide whether it was important enough or not- for me most likely that is not really something to prevent us fromg being together, but it depends. I would question someone needing to hold onto those beliefs so deeply and whether it was a sign of a deeper, broader pattern which may cause problems in others areas I DO consider necessary within our dynamic.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 3

RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/17/2008 2:36:26 PM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

With a girl I Own she has no choise where I decide I will be addressed a particular way. 'Master' is one of the acceptable forms of address from such a girl. If her 'personal beliefs' are more imprtant to her than My requirements she can find someone ELSE. The T in TPE = TOTAL. It isn't the word so much (My girl calls Me Daddy far more than she does Master, because most of the time We are non-formal) but the level of control.

With a play partner, if formal mode of address is appropriate then it is Sir, NOT Master, I don't Own her and will not allow her to call Me by that title. (Exception being Gorean trained girl where their protocol is to address free as Master :name:... so from such 'Master Raven' is acceptable.)

Anyone else, I don't much care, the are not in submission to Me so I will not dictate what they call Me. If they want a polite responce then it best be reasonably polite (and again, NOT Master, if they feel the need to address Me by title then Sir is just fine) if not then they are likely to find themself ignored.

What someone elses sub/slave/whatever refers to Them as... who cares? Thats between them!

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 4

RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/17/2008 2:39:46 PM

Sandyshores29718

Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline

Thank you both for your replies. :) My belief if for religious reasons.

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 5

RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/17/2008 3:42:07 PM

califsue

Posts: 593
Joined: 2/2/2008
Status: offline

I call mine Master but I asked him if anyone had ever call him Daddy or anything else other than Master. He asked me what I would like to call him and my choice is Master.

(in reply to Sandyshores29718)

Post #: 6

RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/17/2008 4:02:34 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

I call him whatever term he wishes for me to call him. I figure since I want him to be happy I'd like to call him something he'll like and enjoy, not what I'll like and enjoy. I guess if you have a term which really you are uncomfortable with then it's time to sit down with your partner and talk it out like any other problem you'd have. In the end it's up to both of you to call each other whatever you want. There's no rule here.

(in reply to califsue)

Post #: 7

RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/17/2008 4:24:43 PM

Evility

Posts: 915
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline

I'm not particular about how she addresses me. She calls me master sometimes, daddy other times. She does call me Sir but not religiously. It's just not a big deal to me. If I can push her to the point where she calls me "you fucking bastard" then that's a good day.

(in reply to Sandyshores29718)

Post #: 8

RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/17/2008 4:31:56 PM

Sandyshores29718

Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline

*chuckles* Thanks for your replies everyone. :)

(in reply to Evility)

Post #: 9

RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/17/2008 4:47:36 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

As asked for, my personal thoughts, not meant really to apply to anyone else.

For me, respect is something that goes much much deeper than whether someone makes various sorts of gestures... Honestly, ANYONE could call me "sir" or "master" or whatever and/or kneel, etc. Those things are tokens of respect, not the respect itself. Not getting the token and the genuine article confused is important. I need mine to respect me, both as her husband and her master. I do not, however, need or much care about the surface tokens of respect.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Sandyshores29718)

Post #: 10

RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/17/2008 5:08:00 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse
With a play partner, if formal mode of address is appropriate then it is Sir, NOT Master, I don't Own her and will not allow her to call Me by that title

quote:

Anyone else, I don't much care, the are not in submission to Me so I will not dictate what they call Me. If they want a polite responce then it best be reasonably polite (and again, NOT Master, if they feel the need to address Me by title then Sir is just fine) if not then they are likely to find themself ignored

This is exactly how Master is. He has never owned another before and no one has ever called Him "Master" before. He feels just as you stated, RM, it's inappropriate. To Him, for someone to call Him that when He doesn't own her, means that she has no idea what the word even means to Him and is just tossing it around playfully. Not appropriate at all.

As for us, He wished that I call Him "Master." It didn't conflict with my feelings but it was a word that was hard for me to verbalize at first. "Master" is just not a word one normally uses every day (if not in a D/s or M/s relationship, of course) and it felt strange coming out of my mouth. That feeling faded quickly, though, and since that's all I've ever called Him since becoming His, it's not strange at all. I only say His given name in conversation with others when I absolutely have to. I say "He" and "Him" alot

. "Daddy" and "Sir" are the two other names I use often. It's all about what conversation we're having and what the "mood" is at the time. Mostly, it's Master 'cuz that's how He wants it................luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 11

RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/17/2008 5:14:23 PM

masterofdrkness2

Posts: 1697
Joined: 3/17/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Evility

If I can push her to the point where she calls me "you fucking bastard" then that's a good day.

Truer words have never been spoken !

_____________________________

So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from Hell,
Blue skys from pain.
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
(Pink Flyod)

(in reply to Evility)

Post #: 12

RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/17/2008 6:16:29 PM

IvyMorgan

Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
Status: offline

I have an "issue" over the word Master, and yes, if it was a case of "call me this or walk" I'd probably walk, because it would show very little understanding of *me* on the part of whoever was "owning" me.

(in reply to masterofdrkness2)

Post #: 13

RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/17/2008 6:21:27 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

If that's a dealbreaker, then you aren't compatible with that person. I usually call him honey or by name. He knows his importance to me and no one title can change that.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to IvyMorgan)

Post #: 14

RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/17/2008 6:26:22 PM

Sandyshores29718

Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline

Ivy: Thats the way I feel 100%

Thanks again everyone. Love seeing everyones answer and how they differ or are the same.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 15

RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/17/2008 6:42:46 PM

Cuffkinks

Posts: 1780
Joined: 5/5/2004
Status: offline

Mine will address Me "Master" every now and then. I prefer "Sir" and that's what I get. She will often refer to Me as "Master" when speaking with others who are D/s friendly. Around our vanilla friends, I am Michael. "Mike" is not acceptable from her. But that's what works for us. Like anything else between two people...Titles can be negotiated. Find what works for you and enjoy.

_____________________________

Resident "11"

"I love you, Sir. You make my heart sing and my panties wet. What more could a girl ask for?" - hejira92

"And that's why it's good to be...Me." - Gene $immons

(in reply to Sandyshores29718)

Post #: 16

RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/17/2008 6:43:45 PM

HeartlandSub1219

Posts: 1
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

The One to whom I am commited, he and I talked about labels, titles and such. As someone said earlier, they are surface tokens of respect. I believe, as does my Dom, that actions such as showing sincere respect, and speaking to one another respectfully and not in a condescending manner, is much more important than a title.

There are times when I do say 'Yes Sir' or 'No Sir', when I know that he is not pleased about something. We live three hours from one another, and my job requires that I out late at night alot, by myself, and if he discovers that I have done something that might not be viewed as particularly wise, he gets upset with me. I'm a bit more of a risk taker than he is, something he has had to get used to, especially due to the nature of my job. There are other times when he refers to me as a 'silly subbie' when we are kidding around. However, he is always aware of my respect for him, and that I would not do anything on purpose to cause him problems.

Basically, actions speak louder than words is the general philosophy. Anne

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 17

RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/17/2008 6:47:34 PM

masterofdrkness2

Posts: 1697
Joined: 3/17/2008
Status: offline

It all comes down to what the people involved in the relationship decide , as for us she calls me Master , it is some thing we decided to gather , it was not some thing I demanded ,If some one demands you call them Master and you just cant do it , you are not compatible plain and simple .

_____________________________

So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from Hell,
Blue skys from pain.
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
(Pink Flyod)

(in reply to Sandyshores29718)

Post #: 18

RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/17/2008 6:52:00 PM

OrionTheWolf

Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline

I own slaves. They call me Master. It does not violate any of their religions, of my present or past slaves. I would be interested which religion it would violate. Did you know that husband used to mean "Master of the Household"?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sandyshores29718

For personal beliefs I will not call my Dom Master. It is in no way shape or form disrespect. Just how I was raised and my beliefs. What I want to know from some of the Dom/mes is how would you take that? Would you feel as if it was disrespectful or would you understand and respect that?

I am not collared, but in a relationship with a Dom and he knows my personal feelings and understands and doesnt care that I dont call him Master. I mostly call him by his given name, but there are times I call him Sir. I just wanted to get some others thoughts on the matter.

_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

(in reply to Sandyshores29718)

Post #: 19

RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/17/2008 7:01:43 PM

Sandyshores29718

Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline

As a christian you are taught to call no one, but God Master and the list of names go on. lol

edit to add*
We both agree that Sir works for us, though if during a scene if I want to call him Master I am allowed, but he does not care for it.

< Message edited by Sandyshores29718 -- 8/17/2008 7:03:01 PM >

(in reply to OrionTheWolf)

Post #: 20

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