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igor2003 -> RE: why? (8/18/2008 12:46:48 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WyldHrt
quote:
wow. a lot of posts already. yea, people trust doms to being who they say they are before subs. why? (atleast the people ive come across) like a dom screwed me over and a bunch of other doms think im a wanker or w/e b/c shes been sayin stuff about me. and shes the liar. like, its not fair that shes trusted before me. its seems to me like everyone thinks subs are horny and doms arent....
That clarifies things, thank you. Now we know that this is a pissed-off, make generalizations thread. Please re-read my post. You are seeing things from one perspective, but not the ONLY perspective. It might help if you would use the word "Domme", rather than "Dom", so people know who are are pissed-off at.
Jus sayin.
First I dare say that most of the people here (and yes that is a generalization) normally DO look at things mainly from only one perspective. After all, when was the last time you were a male sub or a male dom to really know their perspective, and perhaps you have never been a fem dom either. So most of their generalizations will come from one main perspective.
And in all honesty the OP actually does have a fairly legitmate complaint, though it could have been worded better. I sometimes find myself getting more than a little irritated as well and I've been around a lot longer than he has.
Although this does not happen ALL the time, here is a pretty good GENERALIZATION of what does frequently happen...probably considerably more frequently than people that are not male-subs realize.
First contact is made by one or the other...a male/sub, or a fem/dom. In the very early correspondance here is what happens:
Domme: "Since there are so many phony and insincere male subs out there my method of weeding them out is for the sub to send me a "tribute" to prove his sincerity to me." (This does indicate that the Domme does not trust the male sub to be what he says. Either that, or this particular "Domme" is actually a woman or man that has created a profile with stolen pictures in order to scam the male subs.}
Male sub: "I will happily send you a tribute if you will confirm on cam, on the phone, or with a digital photo of you holding a copy of todays paper, that you are indeed the person who's picture is on your profile." (This is simply the sub conveying the same concerns as the Domme, and what he asks in confirmation is usually considerably less than what the "Domme" requires for "tribute".)
Domme: You're nothing but a damn wanker. If you can't trust me to be who I say I am you can just get lost!"
So yes, Dommes EXPECT to be trusted and accepted at face value, and that is what the scammers are banking on! And the male subs are automatically considered to be just a wanker or a wanna-be that can't be trusted unless he "proves" himself some way, usually through money or gifts.
No, it isn't right. And no, it isn't fair. But, it is what it is and all of us just have to deal with it. My way to deal with it is to simply go the other way any time something like "tribute" or "proof" is mentioned. And it really is a shame that it is that way because people on both sides are probably missing a lot of good contacts in an area where it is difficult enough making good contacts anyway.
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