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RE: Dominate from the bottom? - 8/18/2008 10:53:27 AM

azropedntied

Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline

Sure you can Top from the bottom , just tell the Top they hit like a lil girl .works for either sex though results will vary .
I know women Tops who encourage open communication s and others who do not need nor desire instructions or suggestions .Some love brats and S.A.M's some hate them ,knowing who your dealing with and doing it respectfully with in the dynamic is best .

(in reply to IvyMorgan)

Post #: 21

RE: Dominate from the bottom? - 8/18/2008 11:38:03 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Tops can be masochists and bottoms can be sadistic. The power play does not determine your sensation tastes.

I'm probably going to rub his feet later when he finishes a nasty job outside. The fact that he will be receiving the sensation does not mean I am suddenly become a domme. And if he wanted the massage to be a deep tissue massage that hurts during receiving it, it still doesn't mean he's become my sub. Just means he wants a strong physical sensation.

_____________________________

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(in reply to RumpusParable)

Post #: 22

RE: Dominate from the bottom? - 8/18/2008 1:46:19 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Abaddon2u

Does it matter whom holds the whip? I am interested in opinions on if it is possible for the bottom to be the Dominate party in a relationship. How would one define such a relationship in the existing D’s structure?

Most definitely... being the Dominant in the relationship is not the same as being the Top in a scene.

Two different concepts that often co-exist. But.. a person can be the Dominant in the D/s relationship.. but often bottom in the play. However, such a bottom would be rather Dominant in the play as well. To me the Bottom is nothing more than the person that is the receiptant of the sensation given in play... while the Top is the giver of the Sensations. When you bring the Dominant aspects at play.. such a person will controler of what sensations/toys will be used in the scene.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Abaddon2u)

Post #: 23

RE: Dominate from the bottom? - 8/19/2008 7:29:25 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

quote:

ORIGINAL: TysGalilah

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

Ever seen The Secretary? ... Lee is the Dominant partner in that relationship, even though in their play she is the bottom. (my take on it anyway - that worm isn't bratting ... its fucking inspired)

If you negotiate and consent to it ... you can have any kind of relationship you like, just make sure it works for you.

A label that you might come across is Service Top (which people do seem to use like an insult) I know some very stable, happy and genuinely D/s relationships where in play the Dominant bottoms and the submissive Tops because in play that is what satisfies them, but outside of play the Power exchange works the other way.

Just do what works, and enjoy doing it.

hmmm.... v'seen the movie....but never thought of it that way.......wow.....she is, isn't she? lol

#

First time I watched it Iwas like ooooooh she is such a brat
Second time I watched it I was like ..... oooooooooh she is such a Domme

The story is as much about her realising her own power, as her own kinkiness. The very last shot of the film is her looking into the camera ... and that is a look of challenge and power.

Yanno...apparently I am not the only one who never caught the fact that she was doing most of the dominating. I did think she was a brat and that I wouldn't let her get away with what he let her get away with it but now I will look at it from that point of view. Hmmmmmmmm...when I caught it the first time, it was "cut" up to fit the time constraints and sensibilities of the STARZ audience. I am going to have to go out this weekend and rent it and watch it more closely.

I am a sensualist along with being a sadist. I am one of those men who enjoys having my anus played with and have had my submissive partners fingerfuck my ass. I ordered one to try one of her smaller dildos on my ass and I enjoyed it. I still retained the control and every one of them followed my orders as the play went along. I never felt "less" dominant because I was the one receiving the sensation of pain/pleasure in those instances nor did I let them feel "more" dominant because they were the ones giving someone...in this case, me...pain/pleasure.

< Message edited by CreativeDominant -- 8/19/2008 7:34:57 AM >

(in reply to softness)

Post #: 24

RE: Dominate from the bottom? - 8/19/2008 7:36:25 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Creative, if you notice in the movie when she comes in looking for a job, watch Mr. Grey at his desk. Also his ex wife when she comes around.

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Post #: 25

RE: Dominate from the bottom? - 8/19/2008 7:38:14 AM

DavidS8ist

Posts: 97
Joined: 7/8/2004
From: NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Abaddon2u

Does it matter whom holds the whip? I am interested in opinions on if it is possible for the bottom to be the Dominate party in a relationship. How would one define such a relationship in the existing D’s structure?

Regards,

Abaddon

“there are stranger things in this world than are dreamed of in your philosophy…” - William Shakespeare

Dominant is a personality trait. Bottoming is a physical act that can be sexual or cathartic. Discussions always tend to confuse the person holding the whip as having to be "dominant" and the person at the other end having to be "submissive."

'Tain't so.

A lot of folks are sadistic or masochistic and interact with absolutely *no* disparate authority between them. One likes to beat, the other likes to be beaten, but neither serves the other.

But then, I've known some very dominant sadistic women who enjoyed bottoming every so often.

Suum cuique.

D.

(in reply to Abaddon2u)

Post #: 26

RE: Dominate from the bottom? - 8/19/2008 7:41:05 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

I had a top that was too laid back to lead so perhaps i suggested a bit. I didnt like doing it but I did. Or I would do things without being asked. Like calling him master and kneeling. Its a fine line to walk when one isnt giving the direction you desire.

_____________________________

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Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to DavidS8ist)

Post #: 27

RE: Dominate from the bottom? - 8/19/2008 7:59:53 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Creative, if you notice in the movie when she comes in looking for a job, watch Mr. Grey at his desk. Also his ex wife when she comes around.

Thanks, Lockit. I will add that to my mental notes as to what to watch for...

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 28

RE: Dominate from the bottom? - 8/19/2008 8:05:10 AM

AdamTaylor

Posts: 57
Joined: 8/15/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

I had a top that was too laid back to lead so perhaps i suggested a bit. I didnt like doing it but I did. Or I would do things without being asked. Like calling him master and kneeling. Its a fine line to walk when one isnt giving the direction you desire.

True, I could see that being a problem.
I had trained my slave well in just what I enjoyed. And while it was a little awkward for her at first... she soon became more comfortable with it. And when I would order her to pleasure me, she knew just what I expected, and jumped to it.

Once she got into the hang of it... it was nice to be able to just lay back and relax and enjoy whatever I was having her do. Not that I wasn't giving her the direction she needed exactly. I'd done that, and so well that orders didn't need to be repeated.
It was nice to just take it easy for a while.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Post #: 29

RE: Dominate from the bottom? - 8/19/2008 8:08:36 AM

lronitulstahp

Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

I had a top that was too laid back to lead so perhaps i suggested a bit. I didnt like doing it but I did. Or I would do things without being asked. Like calling him master and kneeling. Its a fine line to walk when one isnt giving the direction you desire.

Was it perhaps he saw himself as a "Top" and didn't want to be in the position of a "Master"? Was this something you knew beforehand?

_____________________________

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Post #: 30

RE: Dominate from the bottom? - 8/19/2008 10:57:20 AM

MercTech

Posts: 3706
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: azropedntied

Sure you can Top from the bottom , just tell the Top they hit like a lil girl .works for either sex though results will vary .
I know women Tops who encourage open communication s and others who do not need nor desire instructions or suggestions .Some love brats and S.A.M's some hate them ,knowing who your dealing with and doing it respectfully with in the dynamic is best .

Now you have me thinking of Sandi. Six foot tall and blonde hair down to her ass.
I met her when she punched a drunk sailor and knocked him six feet out through a door for not keeping hands off her hair when warned.

Yeah, "hits like a girl"... I think of Sandi on that phrase. One person you HAD to tie down or get knocked off the bed with.

Stefan

(in reply to azropedntied)

Post #: 31

RE: Dominate from the bottom? - 8/19/2008 11:18:57 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

I am interested in opinions on if it is possible for the bottom to be the Dominate party in a relationship.

Sure it is possible you see it every day and may not recognize it as such

quote:

How would one define such a relationship in the existing D’s structure?

Two concepts - 'limits' & 'safe-words'. He who controls the scene or relationship with a word - controls. Who is giving and getting the sensation has absolutely nothing to do with being the "Dominant party". Not that there is anything wrong with that. Giving and getting, sensation is FUN! Dominance however, is a reference of control.

Pragmatic observation and not judgmental or representing good/better/best. Apply it to a non 'lifestyle' experience already given. Being massaged is a submissive act. You lay there, relax waiting for someone to 'do' you. However, if you are being rubbed the wrong way you say "STOP!" and assert your control, aka 'dominance' over the sensation.

(in reply to Abaddon2u)

Post #: 32

RE: Dominate from the bottom? - 8/19/2008 12:09:19 PM

silkncarol

Posts: 318
Status: offline

I would define it as a relationship that worked between two people...and thats really all that matters in the end.

I've used a flogger on a Dominant ..... at his direction.....after all it does feel like a nice massage...and he certainly let me know, when he thought i got a little carried away <ooops> The same can be said for ass play....and if that means using my fingers or toys, then i'll lead in that direction...it's about making your partner feel good...sharing intimate moments, and to me those are neither dominant or submissive.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Abaddon2u

Does it matter whom holds the whip? I am interested in opinions on if it is possible for the bottom to be the Dominate party in a relationship. How would one define such a relationship in the existing D’s structure?

Regards,

Abaddon

“there are stranger things in this world than are dreamed of in your philosophy…” - William Shakespeare

_____________________________

We attract hearts by the qualities we display. We retain them by the qualities we possess.

Shoes can change your life................. Cinderella

(in reply to Abaddon2u)

Post #: 33

RE: Dominate from the bottom? - 8/19/2008 12:12:46 PM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

I had a top that was too laid back to lead so perhaps i suggested a bit. I didnt like doing it but I did. Or I would do things without being asked. Like calling him master and kneeling. Its a fine line to walk when one isnt giving the direction you desire.

Was it perhaps he saw himself as a "Top" and didn't want to be in the position of a "Master"? Was this something you knew beforehand?

Kind of. He called himself a rough gentleman. Not that I dont like gentleman. I have a Gentleman/Master/Daddy now. Actually even more of a gentleman than the last. But he wants to control me. I'm happy about it. But it takes getting used to and trusting someone is doing whats best for you. That isnt always easy when you havent relied on someone in the past.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to lronitulstahp)

Post #: 34

RE: Dominate from the bottom? - 8/20/2008 3:58:21 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Of course it is. I know many Dominants and Masters who bottom. I know many submissives and slaves who Top, and sometimes not just to satisfay said Dom or Master.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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(in reply to Abaddon2u)

Post #: 35

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