RE: McMasters, McSlaves and other ridiculous shortcuts

RE: McMasters, McSlaves and other ridiculous shortcuts (Full Version)

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Maxwell67 -> RE: McMasters, McSlaves and other ridiculous shortcuts (8/18/2008 8:06:36 AM)
FR Given the time and opportunity to give a 'test run' to a new relationship in which the chemistry is apparent, there is often a desire to get the full experience immediately rather than working up to it. Face it, if you are looking for a relationship where the balance of power is radically different from the accepted standard, regular dating is not going to be enough to tell you if you will work well together. I know that for many a Collar represents a great deal, but for some it does not work that way. For some it is simply the symbol that represents a shift in power (and willingness to bear the responsibility for the consequences of that shift, for as long as the collar is worn), whether it be permanent or temporary. A new collar is, of late, beginning to be viewed much like a new car, I suppose. Only a fool would buy without taking it for a test drive first.

DominaYork -> RE: McMasters, McSlaves and other ridiculous shortcuts (8/18/2008 8:08:44 AM)
Again back to the 'this way is the right way this way is the wrong way' mindset. Yes, I agree, things should go slowly. Trust needs to build, people have to get to know each other. However, when I met my husband? All of that went out the window. We were living together within 30 days, planning our wedding within 4 months, married about a year later and have been married for 10+ years. We've literally spoken every day since we've met. In fact he called me before I even made it home from that first meeting. The best laid plans and what not. You can plan how it 'should' be all you want but life doesn't always work that way.

leadership527 -> RE: McMasters, McSlaves and other ridiculous shortcuts (8/18/2008 9:48:19 AM)
sighs OK, here's a serious answer to the OP... I declared our relationship master/slave. I am full well aware that right now, after only 9 months, it is more the promise of master/slave than the reality. But still, that is the pattern we are following and so that's what I call it. What else would you have me call it? I gotta admit though, it's terribly tempting to tell people that I have a McMaster/mcslave relationship and let them stew on that for a while. DominaYork: I just had to laugh reading your post. Yup, that was my experience. I was a cool, calculating customer who had a clear idea in his head of what he was looking for and how carefully he was going to pursue that. It was a great plan... it really was... I had it all thought out. And all of it got tossed by the wayside within minutes of meeting my wife.

Missokyst -> RE: McMasters, McSlaves and other ridiculous shortcuts (8/18/2008 11:57:29 AM)
I totally agree! You cannot dominant in a vacuum. Some one on the other side has to accept you in that role. So yeah.. they can do it, if someone else buys into that game. Kyst quote: ORIGINAL: chiaThePet The fault of that lies not only at the Dominants feet.

RumpusParable -> RE: McMasters, McSlaves and other ridiculous shortcuts (8/18/2008 12:22:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TwilightShadows This thought has been rolling aorund in my head all morning. How is it that a Master with years of experience can expect to enslave a sub he has only just met? It seems to me that this sort of short cut to slavery and ownership is reckless, dangerous, and totally irresponsible. I'd like to hear others thoughts on this. Comparing this to vanilla life, for perspective: Some people I've not slept with or begun a serious romantic relationship with until years after knowing them well. Others I've slept with and/or begun serious relationships with within, literally, minutes of meeting them. To be honest the majority of my happiest, most "right", longest-lasting, most positive relationships came from the second of those two categories because they went that way due to the two of us immediately recognizing each other as a match by instinct/subconscious measuring of the other. With them, we met and it was a familiarity that was instantly there, not just an interest or attraction. I knew who they were, how they reacted to things, what they liked, their relationship style, their hobbies, etc. within moments... it wasn't meeting someone new, it was running into someone who I'd known for years even though we'd just met and needed to learn what name and background story they were using nowadays, so to speak. Whether D/s or vanilla-based, I don't stick to preset timelines. Each relationship is unique and I handle them as comes naturally for that particular one... some it's been an instanct cliquing, where we just "knew" and meshed; others, it's been a careful systematic progression over time.

windchymes -> RE: McMasters, McSlaves and other ridiculous shortcuts (8/18/2008 1:27:25 PM)
Maybe it's the Special Sauce? [8\|]

masterofdrkness2 -> RE: McMasters, McSlaves and other ridiculous shortcuts (8/18/2008 6:30:16 PM)
when I first read the title I thought maybe Mcdonalds was going to fill the void of Doms ,slaves and subs here on C.M. lol . I do understand what you are trying to say I think, and for the life of me I can not figure it out either . For me it takes time to get to know who I am dealing with , will they fit in with my program in life ? and so on . how can any one know this in one e-mail? I want to know something about you before I even start to think of anything past friends .

Wildfleurs -> RE: McMasters, McSlaves and other ridiculous shortcuts (8/18/2008 7:07:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TwilightShadows This thought has been rolling aorund in my head all morning. How is it that a Master with years of experience can expect to enslave a sub he has only just met? It seems to me that this sort of short cut to slavery and ownership is reckless, dangerous, and totally irresponsible. I'd like to hear others thoughts on this. Yep its reckless and irresponsible on BOTH sides. Why does only the dominant get the blame in this? They are both grown adults. C~

TwilightShadows -> RE: McMasters, McSlaves and other ridiculous shortcuts (8/18/2008 7:41:09 PM)
Blaming the Dominant? Because it was he who tried to enslave - emphasis on the word "try." Had he accomplished that, then the blame would have been shared. And I am for the immediate chemsitry phenomenon. I know within seconds if someone "does it" for me. But, I wouldn't marry them or take their collar in the next moment, either. (well, there was that one time in Vegas....note to self: step AWAY from the wine steward!)

BrokenSaint -> RE: McMasters, McSlaves and other ridiculous shortcuts (8/18/2008 8:58:19 PM)
Sometimes when people click, it gets intense, they both rush forward, more out of instinct I'd think rather than anything else. Seeing the promise of what they want in the other, seeing all the parts that match up with their ideal. However too often they rush past so fast they forget to take a good look around and see all the things that don't mesh up, and then things fail. So even when involved in one of those intense ultrafast comfy relationships, it's never a bad idea to examine the hell out of things. Don't overthink it and criticize, but try to be objective with what you want. That way you can still have that whirlwind experience, without running headfirst into a wall at high speed several months later.

Leatherist -> RE: McMasters, McSlaves and other ridiculous shortcuts (8/18/2008 10:17:48 PM)
It's not chemistry that bothers me-so much as people who demand "instant committment" Seems totally insane-and no end of insecure and needy.

Owner4SexSlave -> RE: McMasters, McSlaves and other ridiculous shortcuts (8/18/2008 10:43:38 PM)
I don't worry about other people's pace in life. I just like to find my own pace with somebody at the time. Be it slow, fast or something somewhere in between. I started a thread a long ass time ago titled "Sub light speed", basically it was to seek out a little insight and understanding why a submissive would rush into a D/s relationship. All I have to say, if you don't like things the fast way. Is to express "No Thank" you to those offering these McRelationships. Some people are simply a few french fries short of a Happy Meal, you know!

Prinsexx -> RE: McMasters, McSlaves and other ridiculous shortcuts (8/19/2008 2:21:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TwilightShadows This thought has been rolling aorund in my head all morning. How is it that a Master with years of experience can expect to enslave a sub he has only just met? It seems to me that this sort of short cut to slavery and ownership is reckless, dangerous, and totally irresponsible. I'd like to hear others thoughts on this. Because Masters will be Masters.

DavidS8ist -> RE: McMasters, McSlaves and other ridiculous shortcuts (8/19/2008 7:24:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: natasha66 Not only is it reckless, dangerous, and irresponsible, at least to me, it's also IMPOSSIBLE. Just my opinion.... Yeah, well... Not. Nine years ago next month, some on-line female friends were coming through my town en route to NYC. Both avowed dominantly-oriented, one in dyke mode. We had drinks, we had more drinks, we had dinner, I went into the city with them, we wound up at Hellfire, then finished the night at a seedy West Side bar. Then I grabbed the dyke from behind across her neck and kissed her. We wound up in bed and she begged to be my slave the next night. We've been together ever since 24/7/365. It can happen, it does happen. And yes, it belies everything I've posted about doing due diligence and finding out about people before committing to a dynamic such as this. But it happened. Hell, I wasn't even looking for a committed dynamic. I was newly separated and playing the field, busier than a pair of jumper cables at a redneck picnic. But it happened. D.

BrutalDemon -> RE: McMasters, McSlaves and other ridiculous shortcuts (8/19/2008 11:04:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TwilightShadows I'm glad everyone is having fun with the fast food analogy. I thought it was expressive! I'm amazed nobody's gone down the obvious path... Subway - "Eat fresh" Domway - "Eat me, biatch!" [:)]

DS4DUMMIES -> RE: McMasters, McSlaves and other ridiculous shortcuts (8/19/2008 3:42:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TwilightShadows This thought has been rolling aorund in my head all morning. How is it that a Master with years of experience can expect to enslave a sub he has only just met? It seems to me that this sort of short cut to slavery and ownership is reckless, dangerous, and totally irresponsible. I'd like to hear others thoughts on this. The short answer is he can't.....and anyone who tries is basically off the wall.....looking for a quickie. Your observation is in my view, 100% correct. Just my thought....

Araneae -> RE: McMasters, McSlaves and other ridiculous shortcuts (8/19/2008 4:26:20 PM)
How do you really know what he expects? I'm purely playing devils advocate here but in the interests of getting to know someone: Wouldn't the subs answer give you a fairly clear inpression of how reckless/cautious, needy/secure they are? It would be a little cruel perhaps. My personal instinct is to take things slowly. In reality it doesn't always go that way and some of the most fulfilling relationships I've had have started in a whirlwind but the depth and intensity have heightened over time.

girlfromthesouth -> RE: McMasters, McSlaves and other ridiculous shortcuts (8/19/2008 5:17:00 PM)
Desperation. That's all it really comes down to, I think.

ProtagonistLily -> RE: McMasters, McSlaves and other ridiculous shortcuts (8/19/2008 6:39:09 PM)
quote: This thought has been rolling aorund in my head all morning. How is it that a Master with years of experience can expect to enslave a sub he has only just met? It seems to me that this sort of short cut to slavery and ownership is reckless, dangerous, and totally irresponsible. I'd like to hear others thoughts on this. Real Masters are like needles in a hay stack these days. Any Tom, Dick or Harry can call themselves "Master (insert dominant sounding name here)" and expect to be treated like he knows his ass from a single tail. And unfortunately, with out any real vetting, they pass for lack of any real system. This is true for submissives/slaves too to some extent. The internet teaches you that if you are pouty and give great head and are always wet and willing, you qualify. You used to hear the term "Topping from the bottom"; I don't hear that so much anymore, and I suspect that things have been so whoafully watered down, the concept is almost alien these days. Calling yourself a Master and really understanding what that means and the roles and responsibilities that entails are like night and day. And, you don't learn that over night. Obviously, there's no system for Cyber BDSM - it's like the Wild West, only Wyatt Erp and Doc Holiday haven't emerged yet; I doubt they ever will. In real life, I think it's really a question of economics like everything else - everyone wants a nice, well appointed dungeon club, and those cost money. You either raise the dues or try to appeal to a broader base. However, when you try to 'recruit' for lack of a better word, you sorta get who you get. People who don't necessarily belong there get in because of the need for cash. It's not anyone's fault really, it's just Capitalism. In my opinion, a lot of people are looking for "Kinky Sex" and that's fine; I'm just not sure this is really the place to find it, if that makes sense? PL

brat4fun -> RE: McMasters, McSlaves and other ridiculous shortcuts (8/19/2008 7:18:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 I declared our relationship master/slave. I am full well aware that right now, after only 9 months, it is more the promise of master/slave than the reality. But still, that is the pattern we are following and so that's what I call it. What else would you have me call it? I really like this. The "promise" of what a relationship could become. I've known my Sir for just around 3 months now. We've made no formal commitment to one another.... I don't even have a training collar. However, I want our relationship to be solid and lasting. To that end, I behave towards him as if he did own me. We're still learning one another, but I try my best to be a good girl and please him. I like the pace that we're taking things at. We're growing in our relationship and I'm very much looking forward to seeing where it leads. I call him "Sir" instead of "Master", but that's simply his preference. I'm his. lil Aidan

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