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slave have limits - 7/30/2004 2:37:58 AM   
Gidge


Posts: 2
Joined: 7/17/2004
Status: offline 		i would like to hear thoughts on if a slave can or should have limits
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: slave have limits - 7/30/2004 7:34:33 AM   
kiki blue


Posts: 315
Joined: 1/16/2004
From: Brisbane, Australia
Status: offline 		I don't know if this question is being asked in the right section, or if it's been asked before, though it is one that gets churned up a lot on most kink lists (I'm sure proudsub would know the link if there is one, at least according to everyone else).

Everyone has limits. It's just part of human nature.

An ethical dominant cannot take away the legal rights a person has, the government of whatever country they happen to be in have already outlined those rights.

Each relationship between a domly type and subly type will be different, some domly types won't accord much freedom to their subly ones, others will.

_____________________________

Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

(in reply to Gidge)
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RE: slave have limits - 7/30/2004 8:41:24 AM   
cheeba0228


Posts: 230
Joined: 7/27/2004
From: Detroit
Status: offline 		everyone can and should have some limits. Basic common sense dictates there are certain default limits. like I.e. murder. that should go unstated and just part of common sense

(in reply to kiki blue)
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RE: slave have limits - 7/30/2004 8:51:43 AM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

that should go unstated and just part of common sense


Hello,

Common sense is not as common as you might think.

Additionally, some people are not aware of things being against common sense.

For example, there was another thread on single tail whipping where somebody
was going to buy a single tail and go use it on their bottom that weekend.

I read that and I swallowed my gum in horror.

This person saw nothing wrong with the idea, seemed to make perfect sense
to them. I am not saying this in a perjorative sense, but what a single tail
is capable of doing to a person was not something the person had any idea
about.

I look at it this way. Limits, at least initially, are there to establish how far one
can be taken until the deeper levels of trust are reached between the two (or more)
people involved. To walk into a new relationship expounding that one has no
limits seems, to me, to be asking for a trip to the emergency room or the morgue.

Just me, could be wrong, but there you go.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


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RE: slave have limits - 7/30/2004 9:11:45 AM   
sbmssvkitten


Posts: 61
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: North West UK
Status: offline 		i think everyone has limits, if slave or not slave

_____________________________

tini lil innocent sweet kitten,
view my slave certificate and
my website

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RE: slave have limits - 7/30/2004 9:16:10 AM   
iwillserveu


Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I hate to say this, but anyone givving you a definite answer is wrong. (I mean anyonewith adefinite "yes" or a definite "no".)

Limits are between a specific sub/slave/bottom and Master/Mistress/Dom/Domina/Top. One example does not preclude any counter examples.

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

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RE: slave have limits - 7/30/2004 10:34:51 AM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		IMHO, everyone has limits, whether they are limits of physical ability (I -cannot- at this time run a 4 minute mile, even if I wanted to and tried my utmost) or mental ability.

I personally think that everyone should also have some kind of limits for personal and mental saftey. I don't think they necessarially have to be "I will never budge" limits, but to me a limit implies thought about a given situation.

People who tell me they have no limits, or want someone with no limits, I immediatly ask about bizare situations. (Almost) Invariably, the individuals say "I wouldn't want that" or "I refuse to do that!" I know you can't come up with all variations of situations, but to me having reasonable (in my veiw) limits, or knowledge about areas that might violate resonable limits indicates that the person in question has thought about what could be asked of them and how they would respond, and has probed their own mind and desires to know exactly how deep they're trying to get.

(I write about a submissive/slave's limits, becaues that's the perspective I have.)

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

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RE: slave have limits - 7/30/2004 3:33:18 PM   
newflowers


Posts: 292
Joined: 5/23/2004
Status: offline 		I think that having limits or the lack thereof is dependent upon the status of the relationship. At its onset, limits, those of both (all) partners must be discussed and determined. Hopefully, one is dealing with compatible and complementary needs and desires.

Within an established D/s, M/s relationship, where a deep level of trust is fostered and nurtured, I think it is not so much an issue of limits - omg I will never do *X* as it is a continuation of the trust, compatibility and complementary needs and desires of each person.

Without the absolute trust in my partner, I may indeed say I would never something which I may have defined as a hard limit. However, knowing that he would never hurt me, never, not, no matter what, limits become less of an issue. I trust him. I trust his caring and concern for me. I know and trust his skill which he will develop and expand because of his caring and concern for me, because we both are fully cognizant that as he would never betray my trust, nor would I his. My greater need is to please him and I, as a result, am willing to try and experiment with new sensation, new play, new games. Ultimately, my greater need to make him happy supercedes the "act" I thought I'd never attempt. This is predicated upon a deep level of trust within the relationship.

In instances where one is playing/scening with a partner, limits should always be in place and adherence to them an absolute requirement of the play.

newflowers

(in reply to perverseangelic)
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RE: slave have limits - 7/31/2004 12:55:14 AM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

I don't know if this question is being asked in the right section, or if it's been asked before, though it is one that gets churned up a lot on most kink lists (I'm sure proudsub would know the link if there is one, at least according to everyone else).


This is the thread i could find quickly, i know there are others but's it's 1am and i'm tired.

limits

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to kiki blue)
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RE: slave have limits - 7/31/2004 3:12:55 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
IMO... a limitless power dynamic relationship (whether Dominant-sub or Dominant-slave or switches) would be very boring. The whole point in such a relationship for me it to gently push each limit and discover a new place to go... and a new part of me I never knew was there... its beautiful, eyeopening and freeing.

This isnt a definitive answer, just a personal one.

_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to Gidge)
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RE: slave have limits - 7/31/2004 3:48:24 AM   
kiki blue


Posts: 315
Joined: 1/16/2004
From: Brisbane, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub
This is the thread i could find quickly, i know there are others but's it's 1am and i'm tired.


So have you added links finder to your list of kinks? Or is it just a hobby?

_____________________________

Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: slave have limits - 8/1/2004 5:34:34 PM   
shylittleheart


Posts: 101
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Everyone has limits. It's just part of human nature.

This statement here is so true, but a slave is like nothing of nature, but a gem,treasure and cherished one. The relationship is set in the beginning, for Master and i we have limits on both parts, things neither of us will push onto another, out of safety,health and legal standards. But with our relationship being TPE He has that right to push other limits, to help me improve and to educate me to serve Him better. Im proud of what i am.

shy

(in reply to kiki blue)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: slave have limits - 8/1/2004 7:40:33 PM   
SentForu


Posts: 303
Joined: 3/23/2004
From: Middle Tennessee
Status: offline 		I am totally new to this, and have no experience as of yet. But, in my opinion, no limits would almost be an open invitation to disaster? Depending on who you're with of course. I guess if you'd trust him enough, and have been with him long enough, it wouldn't be that big a deal. Dark angel's right though. If you don't have limits that he can push, would there be a point to a D/s relationship? Well, besides the bondage fetishes of course...

(in reply to Gidge)
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RE: slave have limits - 8/6/2004 9:33:43 PM   
NightDaughter


Posts: 264
Joined: 1/23/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline 		depending on the relationship you in, I can say that some slaves have no limits and it works for them, others do and it also works for them.

myself my limits are that of my Master and his limits. I trust that he will not have me do something that which he himself would not do, or would be considered illigal or the like.

_____________________________

NightDaughter
My Blog - http://www.livejournal.com/users/nightdaughter/
"I never said that I could spell, but I do try my darndest to get my point across" - ND

(in reply to Gidge)
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RE: slave have limits - 8/7/2004 11:10:15 AM   
dixiedumpling


Posts: 456
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: southeast Mississippi
Status: offline 		kiki blue,
I think proudsub has a desire to serve and this is one way in which to scratch that itch. It's also a very helpful to the rest of us.

By the way, I like your pic. Very pretty.

_____________________________

Toodles,
dixiedumpling

My mind is no place to play alone. Anna Pigeon as written by Nevada Barr

(in reply to kiki blue)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: slave have limits - 8/7/2004 1:27:21 PM   
Sundew02


Posts: 457
Joined: 2/6/2004
Status: offline 		Limits can be taken in a variety of ways. Limit your body can take, limit your morals will take, etc. The list is almost as long as the definition of what a slave is would be (laughing). As to common sense, you either have it or you don't. I have known a number of people who although well educated and be around a long time, have never developed a drop of it. Sinergy, I don't chew gum, but you did make my eyes widen when I read about the single tail. After checking out the different lengths, types and how to get one that fits the individual. I went to a class to see if this was for me. This all took about 6 months of research and talking with Dom/mes who actually new how to use them. In the end my decision was "not for me". I cannot imagine using one on flesh without training and LOTS of practice on balloons and pillows. Now for my response, a slave can have limits, survival is a basic instinct in us all. But I will bet you dollars to donut holes I will have more limits than they will. So a moot point, at least from where I stand. Sundew

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~~~~~Enjoy the ride, the landing could get painful~~~~

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RE: slave have limits - 8/13/2004 8:24:43 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

So have you added links finder to your list of kinks? Or is it just a hobby?


I just enjoy helping out when i have time. It's pretty easy to search for an old thread.

quote:

I think proudsub has a desire to serve and this is one way in which to scratch that itch. It's also a very helpful to the rest of us.


That too, and glad to be of help.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to kiki blue)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: slave have limits - 8/18/2004 1:19:16 AM   
kiki blue


Posts: 315
Joined: 1/16/2004
From: Brisbane, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dixiedumpling

kiki blue,
I think proudsub has a desire to serve and this is one way in which to scratch that itch. It's also a very helpful to the rest of us.


It certainly is a great skill she's got. See how lost we were without her, when she was cavorting away on a cruise?

quote:


By the way, I like your pic. Very pretty.


Thank you I'm quite fond of it myself!

_____________________________

Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

(in reply to dixiedumpling)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: slave have limits - 8/18/2004 9:44:17 AM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

See how lost we were without her, when she was cavorting away on a cruise?


Cavorting?? LOL with my 80yr old aunt and her two caregivers?

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to kiki blue)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: slave have limits - 8/18/2004 9:14:12 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Cavorting?? LOL with my 80yr old aunt and her two caregivers?


Yay, age play AND uniform play

Kinky!

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 20
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