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Discovering myself - 8/19/2008 8:20:43 PM

ScytheNoire

Posts: 4
Joined: 8/16/2008
Status: offline

Greetings to every one here.

I'm a 32 year old male, in Windsor, Ontario.

BDSM has always been an interest of mine since I knew it existed, back in mid to late teens. I had an immediate attraction to it. I'm one of those people who loves to know why things are the way they are, how they work, but I really don't know why I have this attraction to it. Something in my childhood most likely, but not sure what.

I've spent most of my life with a mostly vanilla sex life. I've been interested in more, but my partners I were with were not. Some even felt it was just wrong, which just made me hide my true desires even more. But I've been reading the literature for many years, it has been my porn of choice. I even got a Dominatrix tattoo on my leg back in '99.
(I'm a top, but getting a guy on my leg would seem weird, getting a submissive woman would probably get me labeled as a woman hater and abuser, and Dominatrix's are just damn sexy)

It wasn't until a woman I recently dated that I realized how important it is going to be to me. She had been in a long-term D/s relationship, she is a bottom, and with her, I got to experience a few fantasies I had always had. And I loved it. It felt natural. It felt normal. It felt good.

So now that I've had it, I can't ever imagine another relationship without it. I can't imagine living and denying myself desires I've always had.

So now I'm looking to meet other like-minded individuals, learn more about the community beyond just books and movies, and hopefully one day find a woman I can spend my life with and share experiences with, grow together, and be happy.

Just not sure I'm in the right city for that. But hoping learn more, experience more, discuss it more, and have it as part of my life.

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RE: Discovering myself - 8/19/2008 8:43:03 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

Welcome to CM and I wish you a good journey.

(in reply to ScytheNoire)

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RE: Discovering myself - 8/19/2008 9:27:13 PM

Liesle

Posts: 15
Joined: 8/16/2008
Status: offline

Welcome! I know exactly what you mean about feeling like something was missing. I too have been made to feel it was wrong of me to have these feelings. I know now that it is perfectly normal. I hope you find what you are looking for.

_____________________________

“True strength lies in submission which permits one to dedicate his life, through devotion, to something beyond himself.”

(in reply to angelikaJ)

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