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Meeting the Parents - 8/19/2008 8:24:21 PM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		How do you handle it when your parents want to meet your Master?  My father is 70, my stepmother older, but they want to meet the "special" man in my life.  We don't live together, and I have explained to them that it is not a romantic relationship but one more based on me not wanting to be alone at my age (47).  Anyone else have to deal with this?

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RE: Meeting the Parents - 8/19/2008 9:27:17 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		What's there to deal with?  I understand wanting to be sensitive to your parents, but unless the dom is against meeting, you go out to dinner together and enjoy conversation. Not being romantic doesn't mean he can't hold a decent conversation and politely interact with senior citizens does it?  IMO they should meet if it's a long term situation just in case an emergency comes up with someone- you will all need to know who to contact and trust.



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RE: Meeting the Parents - 8/19/2008 9:30:15 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chamberqueen

How do you handle it when your parents want to meet your Master?  My father is 70, my stepmother older, but they want to meet the "special" man in my life.  We don't live together, and I have explained to them that it is not a romantic relationship but one more based on me not wanting to be alone at my age (47).  Anyone else have to deal with this?


Awww I think it is very sweet they want to meet your Master.
I would just introduce him as a very special "gentleman" that makes you
happy and that you adore.
In the end, I bet at their age, they just want to see you happy.
Have fun!

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Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

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RE: Meeting the Parents - 8/19/2008 10:11:01 PM   
Shawn1066


Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline 		Having my Parents meet my Owner wasn't scary or anything at all--though I was a touch nervous just because I wanted them to like her as much as I did.

DV's Fox

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RE: Meeting the Parents - 8/20/2008 4:13:14 AM   
MRandme


Posts: 661
Joined: 9/24/2007
Status: offline 		As my mother lives halfway across the country, this hasn't been an issue. However, the evening He and my youngest met for the first time, i was nervous. After He left, i asked my son what He thought and was given a grin and a thumbs-up, so i guess i have his approval, LOL.  The oldest hasn't met Him yet, though. 

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And thus i conclude with a wish you go well,
Sweet be your dreams, may your happiness swell,
I'll leave you here, for my journey begins
i've gone to be with Him again...

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RE: Meeting the Parents - 8/20/2008 5:10:25 AM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		nope, i've never had to deal with having someone around only because i don't want to be alone, however, if i did, meeting the parents would be the easy part.  they're the first to admit that during the first 16 years of their relationship, he was nothing more than a sugar daddy to her.

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RE: Meeting the Parents - 8/20/2008 5:48:43 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		I didn't word it carefully enough - my apologies.  My Master is concerned that if He meets them it will blur the lines of our relationship.  He doesn't want to.  I don't know whether to be frank with my parents when they come to visit in two days and let them know that he prefers not to meet them or just to say that possibly he will meet with us another time.

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RE: Meeting the Parents - 8/20/2008 5:51:19 AM   
califsue


Posts: 593
Joined: 2/2/2008
Status: offline 		My parents are in their 80's and my dad always just says tell "Name" hi for me and my mom is like..well I haven't met him so don't tell him hi from me if they know he is coming over for a visit. My master agrees at some point he will meet the parents just hasn't yet. I did tell my mom I wasn't 15/16 and that there are tons of adult children who have friends and not everyone meets the parents. My sister has said they just want to know that I have someone especially due their age/health and don't want to think about me being alone. Have you explained to your Master that they want to meet him? What does he think of that?  I don't live with my Master, and we live about 75 miles from each other and I told mom I only get to see him for a few hours and we are still getting to know one another stage. My parents don't need to know about what we do when we are together just that he makes me happy.

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RE: Meeting the Parents - 8/20/2008 6:15:20 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		i have introduced dominant friends i've met to my parents simply as my friend - nothing further needs to be explain to them since i don't share any details about my love life to them nor would i want to. soon, i'll be making introductions of my pet to them as my boyfriend. as long as i'm happy with whomever i chose is all they're concerned about.

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RE: Meeting the Parents - 8/20/2008 6:26:49 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		My girl was nervious when We first went up to visit her folks. Prior they haven't really liked her choises in Men, mearly tolerated them because that was her choise.... but then they where often very aware of the problems she was having, problems caused by the past partner.

So in a way I had a big advantage, I wasn't him Not only was I their little girls choise, but I was the reason she was much happier, returning to being a self-confident bouncy content girl. Add to that the fact that I actualy get on with her folks like a house on fire, have many shared values, come from a similar culture, have a background in the same work they are both involved with..... BINGO.

My girl did get a surprize last time her folks visited Us though... they know about the Dynamic but when her mum asked her if she had permission to have an icecream it was the first time they have shown respect for a dynamic rather than just tollerance.


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This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

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RE: Meeting the Parents - 8/20/2008 6:50:40 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chamberqueen

How do you handle it when your parents want to meet your Master?  My father is 70, my stepmother older, but they want to meet the "special" man in my life.  We don't live together, and I have explained to them that it is not a romantic relationship but one more based on me not wanting to be alone at my age (47).  Anyone else have to deal with this?


Does your Master know that you posted this?!?!?  It IS a romantic realtionship, and he is NOT a desperation move so you don't live alone.  If I were Him, I would NOT be happy.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to chamberqueen)
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RE: Meeting the Parents - 8/20/2008 7:06:54 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chamberqueen
My Master is concerned that if He meets them it will blur the lines of our relationship. 


I find that pretty disheartening.  He would allow other people that he really doesn't know have that much control over your relationship?

Whether either of you allow outside influences to impact your relationship is your choice. 


Knight's Kyra 

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

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RE: Meeting the Parents - 8/20/2008 7:09:20 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		When they wanted to meet my Mistress, I brought her over and they met her. No big deal. Sometimes she came with me when I went for family events and sometimes she stayed home. It all depended on her mood.

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"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


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RE: Meeting the Parents - 8/20/2008 7:17:36 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chamberqueen

I didn't word it carefully enough - my apologies.  My Master is concerned that if He meets them it will blur the lines of our relationship.  He doesn't want to.
I am not sure how meeting your parents could change your relationship. Is he afraid if they don't like him, it will effect how you feel?

I don't know whether to be frank with my parents when they come to visit in two days and let them know that he prefers not to meet them or just to say that possibly he will meet with us another time.
I would be careful about this. If you say he prefers not to meet them, they are bound to wonder why and the ideas they come up with are probibly going to be a lot worse than the truth. I know I would be very leary if one of my kids was seeing someone who didn't want to meet any other family members.
 
For me personally, I could not be in a relationship with someone who was not willing to be a part of my family. They are too big a part of my life and who ever I end up with is going to have to deal with that part.



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"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


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RE: Meeting the Parents - 8/20/2008 11:07:13 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		The first time my parents met Master it was quite by accident.  I was in the hospital recovering from suregy and Master happened to visit at the smae as time my parents.  I did not make a big deal about it i just said mom, dad this is my friend Matt. They thought nothing of it i am 38 i do not share my love life with my parents.  It is bound to rasie questions if you say he does not want to meet them.

Matt's littleone

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RE: Meeting the Parents - 8/20/2008 11:57:34 AM   
AdamTaylor


Posts: 57
Joined: 8/15/2008
Status: offline 		Bringing my subs/slave home was easy. They were always great women, and got along fine with my folks. Had pleasant conversation.
And they just passed off her submissive behaviour as being shy. ;)

Now, when I've gone to meet their folks... well, it wasn't a problem either. Parents always seem to love me. I'm charming and outgoing, and I usually get to hear their mom say something along the lines of "Oh, this one's a good one, don't screw it up". LOL!

But I don't see why it has to be a problem. I mean, you're not going to show them first hand what you two do, right?
So who cares? Go there, be polite, enjoy dinner and conversation... and everything will be okay.

(in reply to littleone35)
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RE: Meeting the Parents - 8/20/2008 2:10:15 PM   
silkncarol


Posts: 318
Status: offline 		You handle it the same way you would a vanilla relationship....everyone treats the other with respect and common courtesy during the evening. 

For me, if i don't feel i can introduce my Dominant to my family, then i probably wouldn't be in a serious long term relationship with them.....because i expect to share ever aspect of my life with my Dom. . 

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We attract hearts by the qualities we display. We retain them by the qualities we possess.

Shoes can change your life................. Cinderella

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RE: Meeting the Parents - 8/20/2008 6:20:08 PM   
katie978


Posts: 352
Joined: 7/21/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chamberqueen
My Master is concerned that if He meets them it will blur the lines of our relationship.  He doesn't want to. 


Which relationship? Your relationship with him? Your relationship with your parents?

Honestly, if I was in a relationship with someone that I didn't want to introduce to my parents, I just wouldn't tell my parents about him. If I'm just a piece of fuckmeat to my master to the point where simply meeting my parents and treating me like a normal human for 2 hours will blur the relationship, I'm not going to tell my parents about him at all, no matter how happy he makes me.


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"That's the plan. Rule the world. You and me. Anyday ::wink::"



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RE: Meeting the Parents - 8/20/2008 7:58:18 PM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline 		Your master may feel that meeting your parents would put a more romantic spin on your relationship.  I'd venture a guess that for the average couple, meeting parents and other family members is indicative of a relationship that has moved to a different level.

For ~some~ dominants, it seems the norm to maintain a certain intimate distance from their submissives lives, and it's easier to objectify them in their minds when that distance is maintained.  I would speculate that they have some weird feelings coming face to face with family who loves and cares about you, while thinking about the fact that they sent you to suck some friends cock (this is just a generalization as I have no idea what your master does with you ;-).

I would simply explain to your parents that the man in your life had other committments and was unable to meet them while they were there. 

My Master was the first guy I brought home to meet my parents since I was 18!!!!  I was nervous as hell, but it was no big deal.  I live with my parents right now, so He sees them when He comes to pick me up, and has spent some time with me here at home after I had surgery a month ago.  He brought my Dad a tshirt from His fire station one time, has helped them bring in groceries, etc.... they both think He's wonderful. 

But ours is a romantic relationship, so it's a bit of a different situation.

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RE: Meeting the Parents - 8/21/2008 6:54:44 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		Thank you, BR.  You understand exactly.  He hasn't said that He will never meet them, just that He chooses to pass at this time.  I know that "meeting the parents" has a much stronger connotation to some than to others.  To me it means little, but to Him it could seem like a huge step.

I have been divorced for almost five years, and I know that my parents are simply happy that I am in a relationship that I enjoy.  I would never have invited Him on my own because I knew it could be awkward, but my stepmom was pushing for it so I thought that at least I could invite Him to stop by if He wanted to.  I respect His wishes and was really just wondering if others in a non-romantic or non-live in level had dealt with a similar situation. 


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