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So-Cal Xmas Shopping - 11/22/2005 11:20:51 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
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You need a little local So-Cal perspective to appreciate these....

Mattel recently announced the release of Limited-Edition So-Cal dolls for the Southern California market:

Irvine Barbie

This princess Barbie is only sold at The Irvine Spectrum. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey, and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version.

Tustin Barbie

This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic-jamming cell phone sold separately.

Van Nuys Barbie

This recently paroled former "Porn Actress" Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a methlab kit. This model is only available after dark and can only be paid for in cash. Preferably in small, untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

Santa Monica Barbie

This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are a Starbucks travel cup, credit cards, French pedicure and country club membership. Also available for this set are Real Estate Magnate Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

Corona Barbie

This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

Newport Beach Barbie

This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print bikini, Jimmy Choo slides and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at her beach house. Shallow Ken can be found in the cabana making out with Jail Bait Skipper. Percocet prescription recommended.

Huntington Beach Barbie

Though her house has recently gone up astronomically in value, this brassy-haired Barbie still enjoys boxed wine and canned cheese. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter top.

Laguna Beach Barbie

This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstock's with white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow". She does not want or need a Ken doll, but you if purchase two Laguna Beach Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker free.

Long Beach Barbie

This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his '79 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

West Hollywood Barbie/Ken

This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple "snap-on" parts.

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RE: So-Cal Xmas Shopping - 11/24/2005 3:20:15 PM

jamesthehumanrug

Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline

merc and beth
on the xmas shopping ,on the "van nys barbie ":
...you say:," then we don't know what you're talkin', about "....,but, you, forgot ,to say we'll give you one,
....or, if a cop comes, to your home ,with no-warrant :hide the pictures ,on the walls, and, take-in all the ,outside decorations ,and ,hide the presents;
they take everything imaginable ,from every kinda'people everyday
,and, let people get away ,with ,too much....,so fill ,up their" policemans'- ball" donation bins ,and get those tickets ,too "
give'em a sample, of everything you got ,or
don't you ,understand the hard life ,of a cop ,yet;?
....YOU GAVE ALREADY, AT THE OFFICE ?!
hey:what chu runnin' ,for ;you guilty?!....(,not giving?)
send' EM THE g.d.'VANUYS barbie,'IN THEIR MAIL-SHOOT
,OR YOUR INNOCNET-TOP GIRLFRIEND COULD BE NEXT ,ON THE PHONEY 3 YR COKE RAP!
happy thanks giving
thanks ,for listening....

< Message edited by jamesthehumanrug -- 11/24/2005 3:36:02 PM >

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jamesthehumanrug

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

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