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TiNeedsHouseboy -> RE: SPELLING (11/28/2005 11:19:24 AM)
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This topic involves one of my pet peeves. How can I remain silent?!?!?!? I simply wanted to see which Yellow Brick Roads would attract the threads.
There was no appropriate place in the flow of my answer below to address a "first cousin" nightmare: inappropriate use of honorifics (what I dubbed "horrorifics") in written communications. So, I'll place it here.
Proviso: For anyone in an established D/s alliance, or who's into cyber scening, where the dominant partner requested that faux Internet upper case/lower case lingo be used, then have a great time playing with it. Beyond those boundaries, I go batty when people use it out of context. That especially includes dominants posting to bulletin boards, using "W/we" and "My" -- while interfacing with others who never agreed to submit to their dominance; other dominants reading the posts are not there to submit to the poster, plus it would be presumptuous if the person thinks that every submissive who reads his/her way through the boards is there to submit to every dominant around.
What totally sends me over the edge are posts from those same people, whining that they receive introductory notes of the ilk, "Mistress, I was born to serve YOU!" The dominant in question complains about not agreeing to accept the person’s submission. Gee whiz!!! That alleged dominant paved a path to induce such behavior; what else can one expect when his/her profile and posts are filled with horrorifics? Then, there's the added touch of signing all notes with an assumed title, imposing an image that one is the great goddess of the grand beyond.
Abused English, in conjunction with misplaced use of unearned titles, is a chronic source of consternation and double-speak. To all such grousers, consider the image conveyed before grumbling that subs react inappropriately. You know the adage about reaping what you sow. If a person has implanted him/herself in a cyber garden of plastic-fantastic wankerhood, life blossoms with insincerity amid all that horsepucky.
Granted, I set up my Alt user name as "Mistress Ti," but I put it there as an adjective, given the constraints of name length when I registered. I NEVER sign any notes with a title, and I never use horrorifics. The only reason I opted for "Mistress" was so I could convey two critical "at-a-glance" pieces of info to circumvent prevailing Internet nonsense: (1) I'm female, (2) I'm dominant, not a switcher.
quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
What actually drives me crazy is people who put down other people for their lack of skills or knowledge in an area. You know, some of these really bad spellers might be able to teach me a thing or two about calculus or physics or even manual tasks such as mechanics, computer hardware or electrical work! We aren't all geniuses in all areas. Let’s cut each other a little slack, shall we?
When hell freezes over and donkeys fly -- that's when I'll cut people slack. It's NOT people who lack such skills who irk me. It's those who DO have the skills, but can't be bothered using them.
First impressions are significant. If a person's primary written behavioral message is, "I'm too lazy to give a darn," then imagine how (s)he'll act a few months down the road. The novelty of interactions will have worn off and you have to get down to the business of a dyed-in-the-wool, day-to-day relationship. Such people are there for nothing more than what the dominant will do to meet their kinky needs -- when, and if, it's convenient, and the kinky interest happens to be trolling. Not exactly my idea of a committed sub.
In other words, I'm not talking about people who speak English as a second/third/fourth, etc. language. I'm not talking about people who are dyslexic, or have a learning disability, but who at least make an effort to spell check.
Self-destructive propensities always fascinate me.... like when someone says (s)he's dyslexic, and I volunteer to proof a website or lengthy posts (before they go online); rather than being met by appreciation, I often find my offer targeted with raging hostility. This tells me that the person uses the handicap as some sort of pity/excuse vehicle that (s)he refuses to remove.
I'm surely not referring to making occasional typos, as we all do that. (Lord knows, when I make a typo that slips by me, it's a major news day; the typo bug especially manages to bite me on the rump when I get overly short on time. Given my tendency toward loquaciousness, this can be a major challenge.)
Let me be very clear: I spell horribly when left to my own devices. No one makes more typos than I do. The critical distinction is that I proof what I type. (Though I can't spell, I know when a word looks wrong.) I keep a well-worn dictionary by my side. And when I'm done eyeballing my typing, then it's spell checked.
One aspect of why this is crucial is….
<Drum roll, puleez …. And yes, I do use slang and make allowances for it when sent to me>
My desire is to convey an image to prospective subs as someone with excellent attention to detail. Otherwise, why would they think they could ever trust me to "read" body language while they're lost in subspace? (That was a rhetorical question. IMO if that point isn't self-evident to anyone reading this board, then that person should rethink plunging into BDSM.)
In other words, we're talking about MOTIVATIONAL issues. Now, add the concept of motivation to interacting with a person who claims (s)he wants to serve. If truly motivated to fit that role, then the person must demonstrate excellent attention to detail, too. Otherwise, I'd have to be into micromanagement, and that ain't my thang.
Beyond that, a person who lacks excellent written and reading skills won't succeed in my life, which is one aspect of why this is a big deal for me. Consider: I get into odd pastimes. I never expected, for example, to end up converting Brazilian Portuguese (no, I do not speak any Portguese, though my primary translation partner has been hell-bent on teaching me the lingo) porn jokes into English, which then have to be typed into cartoon panels, using Photoshop. (During one of the most challenging moments, it took four conspiring minds to brainstorm a translation for just a nightclub's name; we couldn't afford to lose the gag.) I need people around me who can cut the mustard and are up to the task!
Written exchanges demonstrate intent. If someone is sincere, (s)he’ll find ways to circumvent disabilities and convert them into abilities. Case in point: The dyslexic psychiatrist, who headed a program where I worked for a couple of years. Despite his dyslexia, he made it through medical school and could handle all administrative paperwork; that was LLLLLOOOOOONNNNNNNGGGGGGG before people had computers to pick up the slack. He had the will and ergo, he created the way.
How does any of this fit in with notions of good grammar and spelling? One of my pet peeves involves excuses for not spell checking. I've lost count of how many times I’ve been confronted by this lame excuse: "I couldn't spell check because this forum has no spell checker." That immediately tells me that I'm faced by a lazy prospective submissive, who's indifferent to putting his/her best foot forward. If (s)he can’t be bothered dumping text into whatever word processing software exists on his/her computer, that person won’t be highly motivated to ramp up initiative and effort when in a real life situation, where my needs must be handled.
~ Ti ~
P.S. Shall I post the link to the astrophysicist (he’d likely adore it, as he’s so deeply into humiliation) who attempted the "no spell checker" blame game for his posts and profile? Given that he supposedly wanted feedback about why his profiles were attracting no interest, what would he have learned had I ignored his functionally illiterate creations? I knew he knew better. I knew he was just being lazy. I knew he was up to the task. Because I stood my ground, he began posting literate, spell checked threads. He didn’t like it, but he showed it was within his purview. Hopefully, he realized that he makes a much better impression on strangers when he writes coherently and articulately.
BTW, if you really wanna learn some nifty stuff from a physicist, I have a buddy in a TPE marriage, who sends some of the most hilariously absorbing, effete intellectual snob, e-mails on every and any topic conceivable. (Herb swears he must have been waiting just for me to show up because he couldn't possibly discuss such content with anyone else.) I can ask him if he'd be comfortable with me sharing some of his "non-personal" musings with you. Topics range from icebergs, to the underlying theory/physiology of stereogram creations, to inability of today's students to do math of any sort unless they have a calculator on a string attached to their butts.
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